The Food blog

First order of business, I am on a blogging roll!

Second, I am addicted to cheese. I have many different types 3+ times a day, for every meal, snack, etc. You name the cheese and it's in my mouth! Heh...

I not much not a cook but I can make a few things damn well:
-Homemade mac & cheese (refer to previous paragraph)
-Fruit smoothies
-Veggie tacos and burritos
-Scrambled eggs
-Tossed salad (balsamic vinegar, olive oil, garlic grapeseed oil, s&p, Parmesan cheese)
-Homemade hot pockets
-Air popped popcorn with real butter (I stopped buying margarine, butter is 2,000,000x tastier) and salt

Something that leaves a little to be desired: Trader Joe's Bavarian Style Hefeweizen. I will drink the rest of the six-pack, regardless.

I love French so much. :) Will need to find a French conversation group in Seattle.

Brett vs. Jemaine

After much thought and deliberation, I'd get with Jemaine. He's funnier, taller and more manly in general. Plus, his lips are luscious.


Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords

I put my apartment on Craigslist this afternoon and I've already received 4 emails of interest! Yay.

Robo boogie

A good part of my mornings are taken up by dancing to techno.

Vigiwha vigiwho

France's anti-torrorism plan is called Le plan Vigipirate haha. It cracks me up mostly because the pronunciation of "pirate" is so funny and awkward in French. Pee-rhate.

Having an itchen

I'm getting the itch (haha I typed itchen...sounds German) to go travel internationally again. I'd stay in school longer just to study abroad! An intense feeling washed over me the other night that I'd see Patrick again. It might have been one of those fleeting moments when we're both thinking about one another.

The guy I dated fall term and who didn't want to peruse the relationship further, confessed his love to me the other night. It was flattering but weird and completely at the wrong time. My response: "In your dreams". Harsh.

I'm waiting on the 6th book of the Outlander series, which I've been completely engrossed in since late August. I feel lost without something to read at night...so I caved and finally changed the layout to a standard blogger template.

Oh! Something exciting. While cosmic bowling Friday night, I won a FREE gift card good for one cosmic bowl!

Blondes not bombs

There's a leaf in my hallway that's been there since Fall. It has evaded all of the 3 times I've vacuumed since September (I strong dislike vacuuming and wall to wall carpet in general but am very cleanly otherwise) and I feel some sort of attachment with it.

The great thing about living alone is that I've only had to buy one packet of toilet paper for 7 months!

And now for your listening and viewing pleasure: Flight of the Conchords: Leggy Blonde

Two revelations

I had an epiphany this morning of EPIC proportions. It has to do with a slightly new career direction but still keeping in line with architecture and interiors. It will remain secret until it is...released.

Also, I'm mainstream granola.

This entry is paid for by the Raynaud's Awareness Campaign

I won my very first scholarship! For my 6th and last year as an undergrad, FINALLY! This year has been so busy extracurricular wise: interior design club, school art magazine, club presidents organization.

Too much land is taken up by empty or unused parking lots....

I learned that my Grandma's diary where she grew up is now offices and chain restaurants.

Also, I have undiagnosed Raynaud's syndrome. Yes. It's true! Raynaud's syndrome...it happens when it's cold.

The smell of homemade mac and cheese is intoxicating. I'm making it for a pot luck tonight. :)

Blondes vs. Brunettes

My latest relationship theory: Men are initially more attracted to blondes but end up with brunettes.

Alas, an internship

Got an internship in Seattle!

Venturing to San Francisco for for the next couple of days. Spring Break is wonderful.

The best part of waking up is fruit juice in my cup

Some people need their morning coffee, I need my morning fruit juice. Without it, I am displeased! Such as this morning.

Whateve

So many weird things/encounters have been happening this term. I can't even explain it! Finding and internship is hard. No one is hiring! Staying positive. San Francisco for spring break.

People who dream in color are said to be very intelligent. My dreams are not only in color but I can smell and feel touch. They are so intensely real that I sometimes have trouble remembering dreams from "reality". Uhhh..borderline schizo?

I'm losing my awesome German accent. I get really emotional and teary while watching the births of 16 and Pregnant, or any kind of pregnancy shows. I don't even like children...

Champagne is so good. I could drink this shit for breakfast.

PS: Dear Chinese spambot, please stop posting comments on my blogs. 010001010100010101110101010101. Thank you. 101010010111.

L'accordéon

Life goal addition: Learn how to play the accordion and become a master at classical French accordion songs.

Kudos to Pandora's Pink Martini Radio for this discovery.

New favorite beer

Quantum by Ninkasi Brewing.

Possible.

Radical sustainability internship this Summer, then Interior Architecture study abroad in Denmark next Spring term. YES! Perfect way to end college.

EDIT // Denmark study has been indefinitely posted/canceled. It costs, at the very least, $18,099 for one semester. I'm crushed! It's frustrating to know what you need to do and not being able to achieve it due to budget constraints. I know my scope reaches farther than the U.S. The world is calling me and I cannot answer. Fart.

I like...

...fresh from the dentist clean teeth. Good design/architecture. Primates. Cute animals in general.

Also, from working at a big box retailer for almost two years, I've discovered that the masses go nuts and brainless two times a year: back to school and Christmas.

Calling Rudolph

Winter break! Time to read, work on my portfolio and cover letters, and research more firms to intern.

The other night I had a dream that I called Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer in my sleep and it came up as "Rudolph RNR" on my call log.

I recently got to know an old acquaintance. We completely hit it off. I've never met a guy who has shared so much in common and communicated openly. We "hung out" and confessed our admiration for one another, etc. But he just got out of 5-year long relationship that left him scarred and unable to be in another one for who knows how long. Bummer. He was really great. And nice. So nice.

Boulder?

As much as an international internship is alluring, my resources are lacking. Sigh. Thus, Boulder, CO is next! I've always had a vision of living in Colorado for a short period of time. Additionally, if a job doesn't pan out after graduation, I would like to do a masters in Environmental Design or Interior Architecture. I'm also very interested in BaSiC Initiative, or similar programs, that build sustainable structures in lacking communities. It combines the humanitarian architecture aspect, which has recently become of interest. I like dreaming of my options....

There are so many books to read, so many opportunities in the world and so little time! These things make me overwhelmed and excited.

I prefer drinking tea out of mugs with a white interior to see the color of the liquid.

Aqua Colbert

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Attn: Canadian Readers

I am considering an internship this summer in CANADA! Montréal or Québec City, working at an architecture or interior design firm that specialized in LEED, to be more specific. Tell me anything and everything you know. Good/bad? Interesting info? Visa required? Many thanks!

Environmentalism gets me off

It really does. While talking to a PECI at the career fair today, I found myself getting flushed and overcome with excitement of sustainability the progressing "green revolution". His passions didn't run as deep as mine though, and towards the end think he thought I was a little crazy.

There is some sort of mildew issue with my couch from a bit of water I spilled the other day. It smells like a moldy toot! :(

Powered by wind

I just changed my electricity to 100% renewable power! They claim only a 10% increase in my bill. This does not amount to much monetary difference in the scheme of changing the world's power grid, especially since it's only me. Living alone is going quite nice. Not lonely so far. I really enjoy my place, although it feels like I'm in a war zone sometimes because of my "obnoxious college guy" upstairs neighbors.

The internship class this term is so exciting. Portfolios, resumes and internship searching! Ideally my goal is to find a firm abroad specializing in sustainable design. Canada, Australia, Germany, Denmark, Thailand, even Iceland...anywhere. Why stay at home when I can experience something different?

PS: Increasing CO2 levels are stressing me out, thanks to Hot, Flat & Crowded (very good read though, even if you're not into environmental issues :D).

Discovery!

After a thoroughly enjoyable spa manicure with Sara the other day, complete with a lavender and buckwheat-filled neck warmer, I set out to search for a neck warmer pattern on Google. Intrigued by this photo, I discovered some beautiful pictures of India at The Global Indian Biking Community website. I love how one search leads to an entirely different but delightful result.

Soleil

A sun-saturated sky filled entirely with wildfire smoke produces the eeriest colors shadows.

Earlier this week at work, I talked to a guest that had the exact same German accent as Patrick (but in a woman's voice). I haven't cried since my return but the moment after she walked away, I almost had an emotional breakdown. All of the memories came surging forward. If it wasn't for work, I wouldn't have been able to hold it together.

Summer is almost over. I can't believe it. It has been more than I could have ever asked for. There might be something developing with a guy. It's been almost two years in the making. But I'm still not sure about everything...it's all very friendly and innocent at this point.

Also, I'm to be a pirate for Halloween! As for names, I've only come up with Pirate Long Leg. Ideas?

More memoires

• The bisous or "biz" (cheek kiss) is so much more personable than a handshake or awkward hug. I wish I could continue this tradition in the states without disapproval. I heard one woman amiably talking on her cell phone, ending the conversation with "gros bisous". Cute.
• Many women, make an "up" sound when making some kind of movement or guesture. When something is outrageous or crazy, people shake their hand above their shoulder.
• And yes, there are some people with body odor. I was probably smelly from time to time because of the heat, so whatever. :)
• Personal space bubbles are a lot smaller. Surprisingly, I didn't mind. I sat next to strangers on the tram without a thought.
• Everyone must wear a swim cap in the pool and men are required to wear speedos! Such a sight the first time. After our numerous visits to "La Tranche piscine," it was the norm and I secretly miss wearing that bonnet de bain.
• The exit signs have a funny little figure running away. Danger signs show a gesticulate stick figure getting shocked.
• Ultimate joke learned from a South American exchange student: An American ship is in German waters when they hit a storm and their ships begins to sink. They call for help and say, "We're sinking, we're sinking!" The Germans reply, "Oh really? What are you sinking about?

French memoires

While in France, I complied a list of thoughts, observations and random (facts) to blog about (due to lack of computer access). I am happy to present the following memoires:

• "La joie de vivre" is ever-present. People love leisure. Whether it be at a cafe, park or bar. The city is lively but relaxed.
• Kébabs are AWESOME. Great fast-food sandwich. There was a good resto by my apartment called Batman Kebab. Supposedly the German ones are better.
• Cobbled streets and sidewalks are charming but bad for drunken walks home.
• "La religieuse" is the best, most orgasmic French pastry you'll ever have. My favorite was the small caramel puff at top and the large rich, chocolate cream puff on bottom. But every French pastry is like heaven.
• No one knows how to make baguettes and cheese like the French. My favorites ones were more "artisan". Almost every other morning, my host mom (famille d'acceuil) had a difference baguette for breakfast.
  
• Lots of walking, shopping, enjoying the sun, swimming, hiking. Since school was from 8:30-12:30, it hardly seemed like I went to school.
  
• Most French men are short.
• Even cheap French wine (must be Appellation d'origine contrôlée) is better than an affordable bottle of American wine!
• Lots of tasty beers! Considering I'm on a student budget, I found my favorite in Annecy, a German beer called Erdinger Weißbier.
• Giraffes. Everyone loves a giraffe. Filled with the French beer of choice, Kronenbourg. Formidables (large beer mug) are also very enjoying if you do not wish to have a table-top mini-keg.
  
• Loin des yeux loin du cœur. My host mom told me this common French saying on the last day driving to the train station, after I told her of my German boyfriend. Out of sight, out of mind.
• They have "auto écoles" but what they HECK do they teach? How to drive like a maniac, curb jumping 101?
• My apartment with Madeleine (host mom) was in the "centre ville," close to everything one could fancy in a city, nightlife, restaurants, etc. It was intimate yet mentropolitan. The Old Italian district/Notre Dame area had a youthful vibe.
• My French increased dramatically, as well as my confidence. Almost nightly conversations at the dinner table were best. A lot was learned from Patrick as well...a good source for what younger people say.
• One of my notes says, "want to stay longer, could live here forever."
• There is much more ethnic diversity.
• Most French men dress very clean and sophisticated. They are very suave in their behavior as well. Cat calls happen daily. Sometimes it is nice and flattering. "Just a poor French boy wanting a kiss." Others are not so welcoming...stalkers on bikes, cars, etc.
• "Best year of life," is another note.
• Grenoble was surrounded by mountains. My bedroom balcony had a view of Vercours on the left and Chartreuse on the right. Both sunsets and sunrises were insanely beautiful with this backdrop.
• I went camping for the first time at the base of Mont Ventoux in Provence for the Tour de France the next day. I've never seen such an abundance of stars before in my life.
• The tram was incredibly convenient. Just 15 minutes to school, where I was still surrounded by the beautiful mountains.
• Les banlieues de Grenoble (the suburbs) are quiet, fenced and stately but quite warm and typical European.
• European men, or at least my German, are far better lovers than American men.
• Annecy is the most charming French city. The lake is pristine and ever-so-clear. One of my favorite places in the world.
• An English transplant in Grenoble told my friend Mel and I one night, casual sex is common and not looked down upon. The man gives his best during a one night stand, doing anything to please the woman. A female is only considered a slut if she cheats on her boyfriend, not sleeps with many men.
• In some magasins (shops), they will speak English to you despite your attempt to speak French. Sometimes I believe it was a mutual trade-off to increase language skill. Other times it felt like an insult.
• The French Alps=return visit necessary to snowboard!
• Most everyone (9 others) in my program are amazing people. They turned out to be great friends. The only guy and I became good friends, he was like my brother that I never had haha. Patrick was jealous of our friendship, I think. Competition!
• Dinner is served late, around 7:30-8:30, sometimes later. I was starving and had to snack quite frequently but the pay off was great--more time to spend outside during the day and enjoy the beautiful Grenobloise weather. The French just know how to live.
• The Jardin de ville was "the" hang out for young people at night. I met so many different students from all over the world. Cabaret Frappe was held the last week or two we were there, free music all over the city. The non-gratuit concerts could still be heard while sitting in the jardin.
  
• Grenoble is famous for their walnut. And they sure are delicious. I looove nuts!

I miss being immersed in French culture.

More memoires and photos will be added as I continue remember my French life. Plus a German "sinking" joke that you're sure to love.

Mr. Who?

I was skimming my junk mail to see if there was any important emails when I read, "Tired of meeting Mr. Wong?" I thought, "Well no, actually. I've only meet a Mr. Wong once or twice in my life." Seconds later I realized it read, "Tired of meeting Mr. Wrong?" hahaha.

Mini

Miniature versions of foods, mainly produce and meats, freak me out. Cocktail weenies, baby corn, and those small French pickles called cornichons. Cauliflower isn't small but it reminds me of brains.

Baby carrots are an exception.

Hold tight

I'm working on a post of all of my random memoires from France that includes pictures, links and the like.

More adjustment

Sun, where are you? What the heck Oregon? I'm going to lose my European glow!

Nothing is in French. Ugh. I'm avoiding everything American and fast-faced by being a hermit in my room. Although, I did go for a run this morning. My lung capacity increased. Thank you Grenoble!

Just ate a Bueno. HEAVEN.

Back to American life

I'm home. It's weird. I keep thinking that tomorrow I'm going to wake up in Grenoble, where things are normal, go to class, see my friends, spend time with Patrick in the jardin de ville...the usual.

La France, tu me manques.

It's already decided, I have to find an international internship next summer.

PS: I'd forgotten how unnecessarily large American vehicles are and how everything is so horizontal and sprawling.

Never wanting to leave

I'm leaving tomorrow and am finally used to the French keyboards. So much to write about upon my return. I love life here and absolutely hate that I'm leaving. I met an amazing man who is perfect in every way. Finally. And we are a zillion time zones away.

Mental breakdown.

France!

France is amazing, beautiful and all things wonderful. Don't have a computer at home, so more later!

Packing is making me anxious and sweaty.

EDIT :: I just want to be there now! I can't sleep...so excited! It is supposed to be in the high 70's/low 80's in Paris for our first week.

EDIT 2 :: Looking at a French news website, there was a word I didn't know. I entered the sentence in Babelfish:

Steve Jobs aurait subi une greffe du foie. = Steve Jobs would have undergone a clerk's office of the liver.

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

More FR

Oh yes, I am going to Grenoble, France to study abroad. Not sure the nature of my courses yet, as they depend on my placement tests.

Today I added two more things to my list of life goals:
-Attain my pilot's license, then fly at night
-Visit Argentina, specifically Buenos Aires


Iguazu Falls, Argentina

One that was added in the past week or so:
-Become LEED accredited by graduation in 2011

I recorded the word "faaaaaart?" in one of those voice recording greeting cards the other day. Someone is going to get a nice surprise. Hehe. I'm so mature for my age.

Recap

France is one week away!! The only thing I'm worried about is not being able to express myself fully, say what I want or understand everything. Other than that, I am so completely excited to have an completely new experience and augmenter my French skills! I've been trying to read at least one French article every day in preparation.

Brent and I have not talked since we left town a few days ago. I think it's better that way, to try to get over him. I doubt he'll grow up this summer and become the man I know he can be.

I went a little blonder...you know, to make it even more obvious that I am American haha. My hair looked sad with all that dirty blonde. Had to give it back some life!

Allergies are terrible this year.

Senior year recap: When I think about being a senior in college, I feel OLD and that I should be much more mature. bahaha You have to grow old but you never have to grow up! I've definitely grown emotionally and relationship-wise. I've learned to take more risks. This school year has been one of the best. I've met and become close with so many different people from class and the different organizations on campus. It was the busiest year yet but the most rewarding and socially diverse. I've decided to get a one bedroom apartment next year for my fifth year. I couldn't take Marie trying to burn down the house one more time. Three years with her would have been too much. Luckily, this hasn't seemed to have affected our friendship. Some of my close friends are graduating. This next year and a half will be very different without them. I will definitely feel lost without Whitney.

Random life updates

Upgrading Tiger to Leopard does NOT work well. All of my important files are on an external and my actual computer is currently without an operating system.

I leave for France in 1 month and 10 days!

Brent doesn't want a relationship but continually wants to hang out. You men are weird.

Body Sculpting has made me so buff!

That is all for now.

Covering my seat

I'm now one of those people who carries a plastic bag to cover their bike seat just in case it rains.

Things with Brent are a train wreck. We patched things up and then something else happened a week ago and hasn't been normal since. I'm not going to let him go..."you lose 100% of the shot you don't take." I hope it's not too late.

The way I are

Filling out study abroad paperwork is STRESSFUL.

After this program, Timbaland and I will both be singing, "I ain't got no money, I ain't got no car to take you on a date." Ironically, I didn't even have a car last night! It was towed from my friend's apartment complex even though I was parked in her space. Dang that permit parking and $250 towing fees.

PS: This song is perfect for roboting.

New

New layout finally! Blogger has a new layout editor and oh my gosh it's amazing. It makes life so much easier without having to mess with the HTML. If I could hug blogger, I would. There is a slideshow "gadget" that I will add soon for your visual pleasure. Props to the people who created the improved features.

I'm having all sorts of man drama right now. My main concern is Brent. I'd been trying to drop my preconceived notion of him being a drunken idiot but who on the contrary is extremely smart and athletic. I finally gave into hanging out in attempt to turn over a new leaf after our ahem...night of passion a few months ago. But it went terribly wrong and now he's upset at me. Unfortunately, I just realized how much potential sober Brent contains. I want to sit down and have an honest conversation with him about everything after we return from spring break.

Going to Lake Tahoe for spring break with a new camera that actually takes pictures without pointing it at a bright light haha. Ol' 5-lb reliable lasted for over four years.

Speaking of age, Unpredictable has been around in some sort of way for 8 YEARS!!! Ahh, it makes me feel ancient and I'm not even old!

Only in college...

Only in college is it acceptable for a girl to meet a guy at a bar, dance and talk all night, allow him to continuously buy her drinks, go back to his parents "McMansion", pass out in his bed fully clothed, wake up to his older sister wondering whose high heels were by the door, meet his mom who kindly offers bagels and juice for breakfast like it's no big deal, then tell the guy "I don't do random makeouts" when he tries to kiss you while laying in his bed.

A constant battle: Trying to be more positive and push away negative energy that stems from my mind and sometimes come out of my mouth.

Something I'm looking into: Voluntary Simplicity. I recently learned about it from a workshop at the Sustainability Center...love that place and the people.

My ideas to remodel the Sustainability Center's basement are flowing. Things are starting to get underway with the technical construction issues. I have great visions for the end result.

All my single ladies

Pilates class has given me hardcore abs. Just one hour, twice a week. I love flexing and poking them, solely to feel how toned they are. Bahaha!

Devoting this time to wish you a Happy Singles Awareness Day!

I've recently begun volunteering at the Sustainability Center on campus. Upon discovering my interior design major, they asked me to re-do the entire basement into a lounge/meeting area. I've never done anything remotely close to a real project before but am thrilled, honored and not one bit apprehensive. The people there are great...well, the guys mostly. I accidentally flirted with a few (shhhh). Some of the women seemed skeptical.

The economy is terrible. Everything is closing and crumbling down. Obama, save us! At least gas is under $2. Funny: Bush-inspired Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Flavor

Cute coffee shop guys = dud. Seemed like he was still in love with his ex-girlfriend. He's an amazing drummer though.

PS: Not everything has been finalized yet but I'm going to study in Grenoble, France this summer!!

Obama!

What an exciting, emotional day. :) I'm looking forward to the next 4 years of Obama's office. I haven't been able to catch much of the inauguration day coverage, except for a few speech excerpts and speculations about when Obama would be getting out of the limo. The only quality youtube video tweaks out on my compy. :\

"Cute coffee shop boy" and I from last term have been seeing each other a lot recently. The possibility of this becoming something more does not scare me. Maybe I am a changed woman. He's even breaking my space bubble and making me more comfortable with touching and being touched. He's a drummer too...Hot!

Anyway, I'm feeling emotionally weird and distant. So I'm going to do my nails and go to sleep.

Too many lovers

All of the sudden, I have all these guys at my feet and have no idea what to do. I made an error in judgement a few weeks ago that will probably cost me a friendship after I break his heart. I feel terrible yet strangely exhilarated by all this man attention.

Kauai was beautiful. I found my favorite beach in the entire world, Kaena Beach on the North end of the island. Pounding clear-blue waves, surrounding by imposing green mountains...Paradisio! I fell in love with the landscape, relaxed lifestyle and free ukulele lessons. I wouldn't mind having a house on that island someday. There was also something quite beautiful about the transients all over the island. They came from all walks of life and were completely free from. I would never have the balls to do that but secretly dream to.

My first studio class for Interior Design has started and I'm completely and utter excited to finally be doing something with my hands! No more bookwork. A few months ago, I attended to an interior design conference and it went GREAT. I walked into the featured building and thought, "This is what I want to do." It was a perfect revelation of sorts. I want to rennovate old buildings and make them LEED certified.

Green Macbooks!

Apple introduces green notebooks. It's about time! I want to get my hands on one of these babies to replace my poor, ailing (okay, old) Mac. This is so exciting. The impact of this on the computer world is HUGE! Within the next 2-3 years, all computers will be made like this or even better. Yes, minimizing waste and harmful compounds is a step in the right direction but eliminating them is even better. All this and more is in Cradle to Cradle (my other bible, next to He's Just Not That Into You), a great read for anyone who plans on living.

Coooold

It's 59 degrees in my room right now. It was probably colder in last year's apartment but my technologically advanced space heater has a digital thermostat to warn me of the coldness that lurks outside.

I got my second holes pierced in my lobes last night and taught people how to spray paint this afternoon. My cash funds are dwindling and I need some extra spending money. Today's paper said that the sensory lab on campus pays people for taste testing. Tempting. I've also thought about nude modeling for the art department. Not quite sure how to get in on that though.

Flawed

Well, I found my first flaw: my right shoulder is slightly lower than my left. It's most likely due to carrying my heavy school bag on my right shoulder for 5+ years. This could lead to back and neck pain later in life. My roommate and her friend discovered this while practicing for their university class. In the midst of all this perfection, can you believe it? (Ha, kidding.) The some-what lengthy reversal process will begin tomorrow with my bag gracing the left shoulder. Thankfully I have good posture, so that will help too.

There are a few potential men out there but nothing at the formal stage yet. :\

I ate two brauts for dinner tonight. They were delicious and temporarily filled my hot dog craving due to lack of man meat for almost a year. But as mentioned before, I'd rather be celibate than have some random penis in me.

Twilight comes out in less than 4 days! And yes, we bought tickets for the midnight showing.

Boots without the fur

So, I gave in. I bought them. Skinny jeans and a pair of brown boots. And I absolutely love them. The concept works very well in the rainy Pacific Northwest. My pants stay completely dry, even while wearing flats. One thing I will never do: Uggs.

Is fruit leather a nutritious food? Or one of those foods made to look healthy?

Apparently I'd been under watering my orchid, so the leaves are becoming wrinkly. Let's hope it's not too late to save it...it's a slippery slope out there in the plant world.

I'm seriously considering studying abroad in France this summer. It has to happen!

Yes we did

Obama Nation!

EDIT // This is still very emotional even three days after. I'm also so proud of us young people who showed up in records numbers and comprised almost 20% of the popular vote.

Good Dick

I'm dying this movie when it comes near me/out to video:



Shamefully (or proudly?), the girl reminds me a lot of myself. The synopsis makes so completely excited to see it. I feel it has the potential to make it to the all-time favorite list.

Cactus update

It died.

:(

Fierce farter

I just blew the loudest, most massive, Guinness Book of World Records-worthy fart known to mankind and no one was around to witness it!! It came out with such force that it hurt my butt.

Earlier this afternoon, I was consumed by pavement claustrophobia. Everywhere I turned, the ground was covered. Panicked, I walked along the wild grass blocks between the sidewalk and the road to calm my nerves. I'm surmising this happened because I haven't hiked for over a month or so.

Something I've never understood: leaf blowers. Why? Let the wind do it's job. And if people slip on wet leaves from time to time, so be it. They probably had it coming to them anyway.

My cactus has mealy bugs! Hence the leaves falling off and white residue. Poor little guy (Frederic Edwardo the third).

And it makes me wonder

I've been meaning to write for sometime now...

Coming back to school has been good, although I've been feeling a bit sad and lonely as of lately. I swear our apartment bathroom was made for little people, or at least very short ones. Everything is so low. I almost broke the toilet the first time I sat down.

The other week I had a hazelnut steamer with hemp milk. It was quite delicious. And being a strong supporter of all things hemp, it made me enjoy it that much more.

I had a nice day to myself not too long ago. On a drizzly but humid day after class, I ventured downtown and rummaged around the hippie bead shop and discovered a new/used bookstore. I bought a few books about Buddhism and some of Walt Whitman's works. The teachings of Buddhism have recently become more attractive to me, as I now have multiple books, meditate on occasion and try to practice everyday. Buddhism is quite a learning process of training the mind. It would be nice to have some sort of instruction, especially since campus life is preaches quite the opposite of Buddhist ideals. I'm thinking of contacting my Philosophy teacher from a few years ago. Continuing with my gravitation towards Buddhism, I went to a lecture on campus given by Robert Thurman about his new book, Why The Dalai Lama Matters. One of the greatest speakers I've had the pleasure to see. Not only is he very intelligent and inherently compassionate but he cracks hilarious jokes...and snorts at them! He described the Dalai Lama as a "zoloft of the people" haha. He was very inspirational and uplifting.

My Halloween costume is all assembled and Fern, my inner hippie, is ready to spread peace, love and the amazingness that is Led Zeppelin. I'm super excited! All I need is a Jimmy Page as my companion.

On Wednesday I became one of the editors of the art and literary magazine on campus. :) A passion for art runs deep in my veins and this is the perfect opportunity. I will be judging student works to be published in our quarterly.

Just last week I was walking to campus on a sun-drenched but crisp morning. I looked up to see bright yellow leaves blowing off a tree and into the wind, juxtaposed against the blue sky. It was a highly spiritual moment. I walked to class a little slower that day.

A change is gonna come

Viagra emails are somehow getting through my amazing spam filter and are showing up in my inbox. Angry face.

Today was my last day of work until the holiday season. I'm going to miss a lot of people there, everyone was so nice. One of the girls even made me a card. :) There was a lot of diversity at "big box". It will be sombering to return to OSU and be surrounded by relative sameness.


I know I've turned over a new leaf with accepting commitment and relationships when toasting to "love" completely drunk. :)

The seasons are changing, as the scent of Fall blows freely in the wind. This makes me uncomfortable because it's come up so suddenly. I'm not ready to accept Fall. Summer has been so grateful to me.

Beer

In my new experience of legal drinking, I've decided that Widmer Brother's Hefeweizen is my favorite beer on tap. Delicious.

Flattery

I've been working at Target for a little over two months and I've already trained two people and been in charge for half the store on multiple occasions. Last night, after hearing sad news (below), the store leader said he would like for me to become a manager and to stay with Target even after I graduate. He loves my positive and friendly attitude, he "knows a great team lead when he sees one". It was very flattering but my dreams are bigger. At least I know I'll always have a job and a reference.

The past couple of days I'd been having very strong premonitions that something bad was going to happen to someone I know. These feelings intensified yesterday mid-morning. Whenever a feeling like this comes along, it's always right. Consequently, last night at work I learned that my motorcycle-riding crush was in a bad motorcycle accident around lunch time, leaving him unable to walk for at least four months. My heart dropped to the floor. He is one of the nicest guys and to have this happen to him is shocking. We'd been talking this entire summer and our mutual attraction had been growing. This whole thing is very upsetting to me. All I want to do is see him, hear his voice, touch his face and kiss his lips. We've never even kissed (although there have been many conversations about it haha)! Everything is going to be so between with us now. Not seeing him at work is going to be very weird too. He's honestly part of this reason I enjoy working there. Obviously I've been suppressing feelings for him. No surprise there...

My heterosexual life partner Whitney is in France for the term and I missss her :(.

Hanson was amazing. The sold out crowd was energetic, friendly and mature. I think they were shocked at the energy of the NW fans that they've neglected to visit these past five years. Hanson's humanitarian efforts are also inspiring and commendable.

The word "cattery" was in the newspaper this morning. I found it so amusing that I want to include it in my vocabulary. Get thee to a cattery!

The boys are back in town

Only a few weeks left until I return to school and our apartment. The porch right outside of my bedroom is the perfect place to set my easel for outside artistry. I'm super excited but I don't want summer to end quite yet.

In the midst of summer activities of friends and flirts, I forgot to mention that I'm going to see Hanson perform tonight in Portland. It is about 5 years ago to date that I met them backstage at the Aladdin. How times have changed.

I may be getting myself into some trouble with a certain male but everyone needs a little trouble from time to time.

Every time my cactus is watered, it loses a leaf. I'm worried. Am I a bad plant owner?

I cannot turn my mind off to fall asleep!!

Keep on rockin'

My art class has opened my eyes to the versatility of charcoal. What was once my enemy has now become my best friend. I absolutely love working in this medium and plan to buy all the essential supplies.

Driving back from my final art class at the beloved hippie campus of UO, there was a guy strumming his electric guitar on the street corner. "Keep on rockin'!" he yelled enthusiastically. The poor guy wasn't getting any response, so as I drove by I threw up the devil's horns (for all things rock 'n roll) and made a hardcore rocker face. He was so excited and yelled ecstatically, "Rock on!! WOO!" I think we made each other's nights.

Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte. It's a beautiful thing. Not to mention their swimming skills are exceptional. Lochte is is a gorgeous man, reminiscent of an ancient Greek. My mouth literally falls open and an "ooohhh" escapes while looking at pictures and/or watching him on TV. He is a gift from the Greek gods.

Oh! I was stung by a bee while on a bike ride with some friends this afternoon. Something dark and buzzing suddenly collided with my neck, followed by a dull, stinging pain. Only random, crazy things like that happen to me.

Natural paradox

The longer I go without sex, the more and more I crave hot dogs. Not the pathetic Ball Park Frank kind but the big, juicy Bratwurst kind. Pretty soon, brats are the only thing I'm going to be eating!

I have the sudden urge to make a glowstick dress and wear it to a rave, preferably a European rave.

EDIT // My new planner has a quote for each week. It's really nice.

My 21er was an epic event, spanning two cities in two weekends with many friends and too many free drinks.

I'm getting new glasses to replace my 8 year old pair à la Harry Potter. I've narrowed it down to three pairs, although the Gucci ones are my favorite.

The other day I realized one of my greatest fears is to end up on one of those dating websites.

Major crisis

My boobs have gotten smaller and I don't know why!! AHH! I'm angry, sadden and I feel like I have lost a part of myself. It must have something to do with a lack of man action. I'd rather have smaller boobs than be a slut. An actual relationship would be nice though. In time...only in time.

I jumped off a 30 foot bridge at Blue River Reservoir this afternoon. Then lounged around drinking cheap beer at the dock. Such a wonderful day, despite my coming to terms with a breast crisis.

The Dark Knight was great. Heath Ledger completely makes the film. A definite must-see.

Summer treats

Champagne mangoes are delicious and so are iced Tazo Passion teas infused with lemonade from Starbucks.

Pain au chocolat

In the past couple of months I've had numerous dreams about traveling to France. Many of which involve a dramatic scene a at pastry shop where I buy something chocolate.

Currently I'm reading "Sucidial Planet" in hopes to get everyday tips to become more eco-friendly. They argue that "every little bit helps" doesn't actually help. I beg to differ, every bit does help, especially if many participate. It may not be enough but at least it is something. I do concur that drastic change is needed soon to alleviate the strain we are putting on the planet. I'm scared for the future condition of our world.

I've always felt a strange connection to the Native Americans tribes in the Pacific Northwest. I would like to think that I was part of one in a past life.

Since being home, occasional feelings of being stifled have overwhelmed me due to the near impossibility of biking from place to place and the loss of freedom that comes from living on one's own. Curfew...really mom, really?

I've frequently been getting hit on (even at work by customers) by every man except the one who I really want. He's only been hinting at it. He melts my heart like butta.

We stood at easels in art class this evening and my drawing turned out crooked.

The clouds outside my window look like the ones from "The Simpsons".

Snickers sandwiches

I need to find "my place". You know, that one spot where you go alone to contemplate life and feel better. That will be my mission the next couple of weeks.

Exactly one more month until my 21st birthday.

Snickers Ice Cream Brownie Sandwich = SO GOOD. The closest thing to sex. Definitely an orgasm in the mouth.

If the fish swam out of the ocean

Over the weekend I helped Katie move to Portland and holy crap, there are some crazy people who live there! Love it...so much diversity (not just about ethnicity in this context) and activity! I've never gotten so many shouts and hollers in my life. I even had an admirer at Waterfront Park who kept skateboarding by and smiling. It was actually quite cute. I think I could live in the city for a while until nature would beckon me back. Also, Portland's "naked bike ride" is now on my list of life goals. They organize secretly due to the illegality, so I must find my way in.

Another thing on the to-do list: get a fart ringtone and have someone call me in class so it would go off and no one would suspect it was a phone!! It sounds ridiculous, I know, but the thought completely amuses me.

I'm obsessed with Sam Sparro at the moment, especially "Black & Gold," which talks about the absurdity of life. He is even political and forward thinking. I'd be a gay man for him.

I bought a "stunning" floor length gown today for no purpose at all except to have it. Sarah talked me into it and I couldn't refuse because it fits beautifully. Now I just need some sort of a ball to wear it to. And a Prince Charming. :)

Last year I had a crush on my Math TA and we had a tentative date for coffee that never happened. He recently contacted me again and asked if we could hang out, also adding that I was "very attractive" and was wondering what I thought of him. How awkward! I know he is foreign but there are no excuses.

Oh Ryan, my possible love interest rides a motorcycle.

EDIT // Another goal: Nude beach! There are many spots around Eugene. How exciting! Eugene also has a nude bike ride but like Portland's, I just missed it.

EDIT 2 // Goals: learn how to play the bongos and play them with the other drummers at the Saturday Market, go topless with body paint at the Oregon Country Fair

Covered in rain

The air was warm this evening and I went out on the balcony to let the rain hit my skin. I tipped my head back and allowed the sprinkles cover my body, becoming one with the purity of nature. Surrounded by friends and the fresh smell of a new rain (and a few cute men) made the night delightful.

I won $50 on a scratch-it the other day.

You had me at shabby chic

Pottery Barn. As much as I hate it, I love it. Their perfect, mass-produced products...I can't help it! I secretly wish to subscribe to their catalog for all of the design ideas, cut them out and paste them in my inspiration binder. What a hypocrite I am! I will admit to nobody else that I like this place or I will keel over in disgust and guilt.
(Feeling: shameful)

A lone blossom

One more final to go and Junior year is done. It has been an interesting experience living with Marie and Whitney. I don't suggest having three roommates because there is always "odd man out". In this case, it was Marie. Not because we purposely left her out but because she constantly alienated herself. Unfortunately, we only recently had a conversation to resolve everything. I'm definitely going to miss living with Whitney and the CAT! Oh kitty. It will be so lonely without her. The greatest thing is, our craziest nights have been sober nights. House hunting for next year is a disaster. With the way things are going, Marie and I might be homeless next year. What else? My life continues to be romantically uninteresting. The most exciting it gets is flirting and lots of chocolate. But I'm content...and maybe a little apathetic at times. Now back to Eugene for hopefully a wonderful summer (even though Katie will be in Portland)!

My Japanese Peace Lilly has bloomed again this year:

Haworthias and merde

I purchased a small Haworthia succulent from the Saturday Market today. This will make plant number six. I'd forgotten how fun and relaxing an afternoon at the market is, especially here in Eugene.

My cousin's husband works at a high-end, sustainable architecture firm in Portland where he most likely would've given me a summer Interior Design internship. For some reason, my parents and myself included, regrettably talked me out of it because I didn't have enough experience or a portfolio. They said it "wouldn't be worth" living up there to file papers or do other meaningless tasks all day. But really it would be worth it. It would get my foot in the door.

Merde!

I'm worried that I'm not sufficiently design-oriented. I don't sketch ideas...or have too many ideas in general. Is that bad? Yes. That deserves another "merde". If I had a premise or reason for sketching, that would help me along. Meaning, I need to start looking at spaces and thinking of ways to recreate them. Oh god! I'm not so scared about not good enough as much as I'm scared that my designs won't be original or revolutionary. Breathe in, breathe out and go buy some interior architecture and design magazines. (Not only do I talk to myself in real life, I do it in blogs now too. haha Yesss.)

Sweet puddle of juice

I'm typing this blog with while almost naked. Feels so great. I really think I could join a nudist colony and be comfortable.

I have a predicament with housing for next year: either live with two girl whom I know I wouldn't be very happy with, or live by myself for three months until Whitney comes back from France. Either way doesn't seem like very much fun. I'm in limbo.

Story time! There was a sticky puddle on the kitchen counter this morning. Out of disgust, I cleaned it up but it was back by the afternoon. Perplexed, I searched around for a leak in the ceiling or any problem. Nothing. I sniffed the mysterious puddle only to find it was sweet smelling. My eyes met with the nearby fruit basket and spied the culprit, a rotten tangerine dripping it's juice onto the counter.

She's free

That's it, I'm transferring to UO! I've always been an inner hippie but going to the campus yesterday to made me want to fully embrace it. The majority of OSU seems to be caught up in a superficial rat race. I'm restricted there. I don't realize how much I move with the crowd in until I'm removed from it. I felt free and relaxed on the UO campus. Being amidst people who also have organic souls, I felt quite at home. I'm not going to let my surrounding dictate how I feel or what I do, so OSU...expect a full-blown hippie coming Monday.

Obama's speech was enriching. Though seemingly tired, he was still inspiring. He is definitely a uniter whereas Hillary is more of a policy-maker. The McCain bashing was annoying, that is one thing I dislike about politics. But I like his direction of more affordable higher education and a healthier international environment. I also locked eyes with the most beautiful man I have ever seen. He had glowing olive skin with hazel green eyes and was even hippie-ish. I must see him again.

Hopefully I will secure a job shadow with an interior designer here in Eugene for the summer. In addition I've decided to take drawing and painting classes at UO...do the whole starving artist thing, spending my extra time reading, biking, hiking, playing tennis, etc. Just enjoying life and not having a strict schedule. Thus keeping with my flowy lifestyle.

I'm creating myself as how I want to be, a free and creative soul that is kind, content and hopefully one day, selfless. I like this. :)

No more hot pink water bottle

My Nalgene lid melted in the dishwasher. Now it smells like a pair of freshly waxed skis...not the greatest scent for a dishwasher. :\

I'm officially in the Interior Design program. It seems like much more than a year ago that I decided to switch my major. A few friends and I are going to see Obama tomorrow at UO. It's my first time seeing a presidential hopeful speak, so I'm super excited. This should help me decide who to vote for.

I've been uncomfortably cold and sweaty all day.

Quality in a square

Today, I ate an entire package of Ritter Sport's Milk Chocolate with Hazelnuts.

Buff girl

Yes, yes I'm here to blog! Stephanie reminded me it has been over a month (ah!). I'm not really sure where the time went. Just school, friends...nothing crazy. Life is good but maybe a little lonely at times.

Whistler was gorgeous (so many people)! I signed up for group lessons but it ended up being just me and the instructor. I can actually turn now but am still having some trouble with the toe-edge. The true test is if I can carry my new-found skills into next season.

I bought some peace sign panties a few weeks ago and am excited to wear them.

I'm getting buff! It's true. With tennis two times a week plus other activities at the gym, biking and running outdoors, I'm frequently flexing and admiring my muscles in the mirror. Haha.

3 more months until my 21er. :)

PS: I'm even biking to the organic grocery store. How I love being natural...

New and somewhat fresh

In a little more than 12 hours, I will be in Canada (Yes Ryan, Stephanie and Alex, it is true. How are you guys, by the way?). I've never been to Canada and am eager at the chance to possibly speak French...and buy Canadian candy and pretend that I'm not American for a second or two. The snowboard instructor at Whistler will hopefully teach me a thing or two. As of right now, my skills are horrible!

New layout too. Not quite what I had imagined but a change was needed and I was too lazy to make something spectacular. Plus green is always refreshing. I always feel like I can smell the color green, usually orange too. Brain associations are crazy.

EDIT // To all those having trouble viewing the layout, hopefully things are fixed. Let me know if not.

Soiled bathrobe

Coffee is not a good thing to drink when I am stressed. It make me even more anxious, crazy and sweaty. Bathrobes are also not a good thing for me to wear, let a lone anyone, while using the toilet. Weird things happen. Ehh...

I'm glad for the large window in my room. So much natural light.

I have a tentative blind date. Although the "blind" part once you visit their Myspace. Luckily mine is private, it keeps the mystery.

This is the orchid my parents gave me. Beautiful! Hopefully I can keep it alive long enough for it to grow a stem and bloom.

Foot stench

It's important to listen to that saying, "Never shop when you are hungry." Today I came away with a box of chocolate donettes, dark chocolate covered biscuit cookies, two burritos, chocolate soy milk, chips and ohhh a few healthy things.

The other day I borrowed a friend's sneakers to play tennis and little did I know that they reeked like feet. Foot oder is on my list of "Worst smells in the world." But before I found out, I slipped on my own shoes. A few hours later, I took them off only to discover that my feet and (newly awesome) shoes also reeked! I've been diligently washing my feet and shaking Gold Bond Foot Powder into them, in hopes that the rank smell will dissipate.

Last week I took my gloves out of my school bag, seeing as the weather had changed. But alas, this week has called for the gloves to be put back in the bag for immediate use. Sun...come back!

:)

Since I stopped taking birth control a few weeks ago, I feel so much more...normal! And happier, sexier and vibrant. It probably has something to do with my new look on life as well. No matter what the cause, it is absolutely fabulous. Now I just need a good lay. Please? Please!! They should add "uncontrollable horniness" to the side effects of coming off birth control.

That is all.

New soul

I highly enjoy the T-mobile commercials where the guys tries to leave the perfect message for a girl but is all awkward and funny.

Things with Travis and I are over. Details are unnecessary because it's in the past. I'm leaving behind all of my emotional baggage from the past 2 years and starting fresh (and so clean). No more living in the past. I have a different destination now with more confidence and sass. There will be no more "dating," only serious relationships. I want something with substance and love. This may mean staying abstinent for a while (which is a shame because this sexy body should be getting laid! haha) but it's for my own good. I'm excited to start my new journey. This is the most free I've felt in a long time.

He's thinking (?): "Hey sexy lady, it was nice to know you but I got to move on"

Apparently, it is over with Travis. He's suddenly done a 180 personality change and stopped talking to me despite my efforts. It leaves me utterly confused and hurt. Things between us were so good last term. I want to call him out on it. He can't expect to treat me like that and get away with it. Maybe it is his new party-crazy roommates. Maybe he doesn't have enough balls to say he doesn't want to date exclusively. It could be anything. We probably weren't mean tot be. A part of me thinks I liked him simply because it was an easy way to stop thinking about Don. Travis was my rebound guy. I'm more upset and hurt that yet another "thing" did not unfold into a relationship, and that another guy treated me poorly. I have such horrible luck with men.

I was watching re-runs of Scrubs this evening and JD said, "People weren't meant to be alone." It's true. I sulked for a little bit as I reflected on my own pathetic situation. Single life is not fun. Nor is dating someone who you cannot trust. I have yet to figure out which is worse. At least being single you aren't stressed and paranoid about what your significant other might be doing behind your back.

...But miss waking up to him with his arms around me. His touch made me feel accepted. I hope that sometime we start talking again because I don't want to loose his friendship. And he was hella fun to party with.

Lately I've been feeling very self-conscious. Not so much with my looks but with my personality. I don't know how to explain it but it's fucking weird.

It snowed a couple of inches today and we didn't go out to play. Hopefully it will still be there tomorrow because I desperately want to make a snow angel. It's been years since that's happened!

Also, I will be turning 21 in 6 months and two days! Yeeah.

Date with an ass-plant

The slopes ungraciously welcomed me today. The sun turned to clouds and my smile into screams of frustration. My snowboard glared at me in anger. I scowled back. The mountain against me. No, me against the mountain. Anger at my lack of skill led to inability to enjoy the mountain's beauty. The wind breathed hard. It let out wet snow that met my face like ice. I returned to the truck and found one of my boots had broken. Another sign. I should have stuck to skiing all of these years. At this point in my life, I would've been damn good.

The black shirt I wore on New Year's stained my favorite bra that cost almost $50. What once looked new, now looks dirty and worn. God damn Oxy Clean didn't do a thing.

EDIT // The "Oldies" station has stopped playing "all of your favorite hits from the 50's and 60's" and is now playing shit from the 80's. What the hell?

We're jammin' (and I hope you like jammin' too)

2008...Hangovers are fun. This nasty one didn't go away until 5 this evening. I hippie-danced like crazy last night! Oh it was fantastic. Lately I've taken up socially smoking with a natural substance that is not cigarettes. But one cannot call oneself a real hippie without participating in smoking this herb, I guess. Now I feel the need to get some sort of Bob Marley paraphernalia and hang it up in my room. Maybe a Rasta shrine or two throughout the house. A penis-shaped pipe. Hahaha.

With all this talk of herbs and reggae, I've seemingly forgot about what else there was to blog about.

Mon passeport

All along I thought I was afraid of commitment. But recently I've come to realize it was because I haven't (hadn't..?) found the right person.

After I graduate from my 6-year college plan in 2011 (haha), I want to bum around the world a bit. Colorado, Hawaii, France, Italy, New Zealand, a few months here and there. Career-wise it wouldn't be good but life-wise it would be make perfect sense. I could possibly free-lance interior design. Finding inspiration and taking my designs in new directions from place to place. That would probably turn out to be more along the lines of "starving artist". God I hope I don't cut off my ear (sorry Vincet)!

My passport is itching to be used again. I looked up plane tickets to France during spring break. Round trip: $2,863. Maybe AirFrance isn't the best website to get the ticket.

My cousin got me a cute, knit hat and I'm excited to wear it.

Happy holidays everyone! :)

3 rules of Christmas

It doesn't feel like Christmas time until three things happen:

1. A Christmas tree is hand picked and cut fresh from a Christmas tree farm. Then properly decorated the day after.
2. Snowed In by Hanson is played at least once.
3. Home Alone is watched. Home Alone 2 makes it even merrier.

Thus, it does not feel like Christmas.

Hola amigos!

My recent discovery: Mexico is rich with culture. Viejo Mazatlan is alive with art, music, theater and dance. People were bustling through the streets but relaxing in the town squares. The colors are so vivid. The architecture is a worn-in, lively take on old European style. It was all so inspiring. The beaches and sunsets are beautiful yet humble. The sand was littered with all types of shells (I returned with three bags full). An accomplishment was also made on my list of life goals: parasailing. It was so quiet in the sky, with a view for miles. I wanted to go higher!

The crashing waves outside of my window lulled me to sleep each night. The fruit was delicious. I believe I ate avocados, refried beans and chips and salsa almost every day. It was wonderful. :) The people were warm and understanding (mostly) and I found myself genuinely smiling. I somehow became the family linguist and was responsible for speaking broken Spanish. From time to time a few French words escaped my mouth.

This was my first time visiting a less developed country. It was slightly uncomfortable at first, seeing the poor neighbors and witnessing the people who are just trying to get by. I tried to be inconspicuous, wanting to hide from the image of the gringo: rich, pale and touristy. All attempts failed.

The market, oh the market! A crazy mixture of people, produce, cheap knick-knacks, interesting smells and dirty floors. It was much like the roads and it's drivers: chaotic. The are no rules in Mexico, only guidelines. It made me realize the rigidity of industrialized nations. How funny it was that we take things to such extreme and seriousness. Sometimes we forget how to live (love?). Relax. Enjoy. Smile.

I wish to see Travis, even if it was for a minute, to nuzzle my nose into his neck and tell him he is the most handsome man in the world. My playlist is in dire need of new music. Everything on it seems dull. Suggestions?!

"A man is the whole encyclopaedia of facts."

Sometimes it makes me sad and slightly frustrated that I will never be able to know everything there is to know and never be able to ready every book that has ever been written. Anxiety creeps into my stomach as I think of this impossible task. It is disappointing that I will never be able to accomplish this. So, I will try to learn and read as much as I possibly can.

I'm leaving for Mexico tomorrow for what should be a relaxing vacation. Bits of French will most likely slip out of my mouth, "Hola!", "Bonjour! Ca va?". After returning, I hope to spend the rest of winter break volunteering and making time for myself. Work seems unnecessary at the moment, prompted only by self-centered motives. It feels right to help the community and those in need.

What little I know about love

While laying in Travis' bed the other night (man mentioned in recent entries), tightly wrapped in his arms, it suddenly hit me that I actually liked him. I had been blocking these feelings and it had not crossed my mind until that moment. It scared the shit out of me. Since Don, I've become even less affectionate and sentimental and even more bitter [towards love and all things associated]. So as of lately, I've been trying to coach myself, taking baby steps and encouraging intimacy and sensitivity. There is no reason why I should be rejecting a chance for happiness. But it is by body's/mind's natural reaction.

I'm pretty sure Rudy Giuliani has a lisp.

A little M&M: Merlot and marketing

A glass of wine is a nice way to end a meal and eases one into doing homework for the night. A bit of natural mint chocolate chip ice cream a little later will top it off and make the evening absolutely delectable. Add to the mix some classical music.

From the description above, I feel like an old man that should be doing this in a Craftsman style house with an Oriental rug and wearing penny loafers. Not in a beautifully chic room (thanks to myself) wearing ripped jeans and a Roxy sweatshirt that needs to be washed. This is the beauty of college.

...Oh man, this would be even better if I was reading for Art History instead!

Salty nuts, too salty to eat

A can of mixed nuts continues to sit on my dresser. The can was nearly finished weeks ago and all that remains are a few too-salty nuts. I can't make myself throw it away (due to the fact that I love nuts) but I can't get myself to eat them either.

My "to-do" lists always seen to get ignored and pushed to the side. Therefore, I stuck it on my computer but so far it continues to be forgotten. I am good at ignoring things.

I dropped off my ballot on Saturday, it is always exciting to vote. I feel accomplished, not only for voting, but for squishing the elusive bull fly that has been buzzing about our chilly townhouse for the last week (sorry little guy but you had to go). Our townhouse has horrible insulation, thus leaving every room near freezing. The heat is expensive to run, so I try to use it sparingly...when I am desperate.

Guy who was no longer in the running is definitely winning right now. Let's hope he actually makes it. :) I feel if I disclose much more, it will be jinxed. Plus, everyone loves a little suspense.

A purrrrr in my lap

Yes, yes I'm-a-slackin. But for good reason! Our internet is unreliable and school keeps me busy. I joined the student chapter of ASID and am the webmaster for our campus club. At our meeting the other night, everyone looks so well put together, where as I was in jeans and a hoodie. Whoops. Note to self: must dress like a classy, fashionable interior designer at next meeting.

The guy I mentioned in the last blog is no longer in the running, at very most he is in last place. I went on a blind date last week. It was fun, seeing as it was my first one. (There is a kitty in my lap who is purring like a maniac as I'm writing this blog.) According to my friend who set me up, he is really into me. Supposedly I am one of the few people who has ever broken him down and made him sentimental. Aw. Too bad I'm not attracted to him. I never like the ones who are super nice and marked as a "good guy". We're supposed to hang out on Sunday.

My Grandma sent me oatmeal chocolate chip cookies. It made my day. :) Probably my week too with the way it is going. To add to stress and a dissatisfied love life, both of my roommates have had sex in our apartment except me. This is really unsettling!

The candle I lit is flickering...it is definitely Halloween.

Hello, stranger

It seems like months since my last post but in reality it has only been a few weeks. School is going well, busy but not stressful until this week. My roommates are woonnderrfull. We laugh quite a bit. Already there are at least 50 inside jokes. Ma chambre is coming together and will be near complete once I finish my painting...masterpiece! (Pictures will follow.) I met a boy. Actually, we've known each other for a year but have only recently started to hang out. He's tall and cute, reads books for pleasure and tells me "you're beautiful" in sign language. Hehe. Maybe this will lead to somewhere good for once.

I finally found a name for my Japanese Peace Lilly, Booda (intentional misspelling). Additionally, my three-stemmed "lucky" bamboo is now named Zeus. Everything else I wanted to write has suddenly escaped my mind...

A receipt to the past

I was cleaning my file folder this evening and discovered that receipts brought me back to the time and place of that purchase. The feelings, the mood, the event, the people, even the weather. It is like an unintended diary.

(con't on September 25...)

A friend and I from elementary school met up for dinner the other night. We had not seen each other in over 7 years. After all that time we still found something to laugh and talk about, even shared our liking of the same type of men.

Speaking of men, hardcore partying on Saturday proved that my mojo is oooon (maybe not now that I have a disaster of a hair color, refer below)! Despite the number of guys who wanted to make out with me, I did not kiss any of them. It seemed so disgusting and unfulfilling. It was only fun a few times freshman year. I need something real.

Hair disaster, part 2:
Going back and forth from "fix it" to "keep it," I decided to do the former. She toned it down, in which some of the formerly very blonde highlights turned gray. She then had to strip all of the color toner out of my hair to fix this mistake and re-dye my ENTIRE head. No more natural color, literally! All the fun (but sparse) firey red strands are gone, lost are the abnormally dark browns and the untamed blondes of birth. It now looks like someone pissed on my head. It disgusts me to even glance at it in the mirror. I feel like regurgitating in her face.

A platinum blonde (highlight) life

Lately I've been having very intense dreams, many of which are violent. In my dreams, I angrily yell obscenities to loved ones in raging outbursts, even get into fist fights. Sometimes I wake up with crusty eyes, as if I've been crying. I don't suppress anger during the day, so maybe it is the anxiety of moving and school starting again that has made my dreams become vicious.

It is my last day at home in Eugene before returning to school. So much packing, not enough time! It feels as if this summer went by quicker than any other (but don't we say that every year?). It was a little boring and kind of sad, due to the fact that we didn't go anywhere as a family and the emotional turmoil of a long distance relationship/relationshit.

This afternoon I went to the salon to highlight my hair with blonde in a natural-looking way, just like always. But it is BRIGHT and it is ABUNDANT. I'm supposed to be a cute, natural blonde, not an amateur porn star blonde! There is too much color in the front, framing my face with fake highlights and washing me out. Its saddening because she covered up all of my natural hair color. Now I look like all of the other dumb, blonde bitches.

Hmmm. So I'm excited to go back and party, meet a few boys, flirt a little. Whitney promised that we'd find me some "wiener," even some "romantic wieners". I had no idea such wieners existed. Wiener is a disgusting word. I always associate it with someone jiggling a cold Oscar Meyer wiener, almost as a ritualistic-type dance. Hahaha.

Hopefully Sara and I will go to Prince Puckler's tonight for a delicious ice cream sundae. You haven't experienced life until you've had one of their sundaes.

Goodbye left shoe, float on downstream

The layout is completed and links are working! Blogger has wonderful features. The only thing that saddens me is the fact that I don't have a "Quotes" section anymore. Maybe I should create it as one large blog post...because I do love me a good quote.

Yesterday was a hot summer afternoon as Katie and I climbed upon our innertube to float down the McKenzie River. The weight difference was not ideal for sharing such a flotation device. Needless to say, we got stuck on rocks and couldn't properly paddle our way through without spinning in circles. At the beginning of our adventure I lost my right flipflop by kicking our way off the bank. But 20 minutes downstream, my shoe appeared! It proved to be elusive as we came an arm's length away several times and could never catch the darn thing. It is now lost in the infinite abyss of the river. (And I feel guilty for "littering".)

The other day at work, one of the chefs gave me a scoop of ice cream and asked how it was. A delighted smile appeared on my face, as he compared it to a smile one has right after sex. The satisfaction of good sex and good food is very similar.

It seems as if Don as already moved on to another girl (thank you facebook for allowing me to be stalkerish). I was replaced. Just as I replaced the one before me. I feel alright now but if I ever see him again, I know it will hurt a little. Besides, I deserve much better than him.

PS: Feed should now be available. :) Link is located at the bottom right-hand side.

There's a lot of "almosts" out there

After difficulties with the eidas.org server, I've (temporarily) moved to blogspot. Images and links will be fixed accordingly within the next few days.

To sum up what you've been missing the past few weeks (Alex, Stephanie and Ryan...my loyally insane readers):

-Don and I broke up. He was "kind of" seeing other girls. Coward. I knew from the beginning this would happen but I decided to follow for heart instead of my head for once. What we had was definitely fun (but quite possibly lacking substance), so I hold no ounce of regret. Luckily my heart isn't broken, just fractured and bleeding. I already miss him so much and it completely hurts because I still care about him. It is really painful to know could do that to me, after all of our good memories. Time will heal this. And hopefully someone better will come along. Hopefully one day he'll realize what/who he lost.

The day/night that we hung out before things ended, The Doors were playing in the background. "The End" came on. As the lyrics "This is the end, beautiful friend, this is the end, my only friend" spoke softly through the speakers, it hit me in the deepest pit of my stomach because I knew it was the end. Holding his body through the rest of the song, dread filled mine as I knew it was only a matter of time before we wouldn't be looking into each other's eyes for too much longer.

-I found bedding, woohoo! The sheets are organic and the duvet is cotton sateen with an intricate, pasley print-esque design.

-I was reading my diary from high school the other night and god damn, I was fucking hilarious! Severely lonely and depressed, but funny nonetheless.