My 21er was an epic event, spanning two cities in two weekends with many friends and too many free drinks.

I'm getting new glasses to replace my 8 year old pair à la Harry Potter. I've narrowed it down to three pairs, although the Gucci ones are my favorite.

The other day I realized one of my greatest fears is to end up on one of those dating websites.

Major crisis

My boobs have gotten smaller and I don't know why!! AHH! I'm angry, sadden and I feel like I have lost a part of myself. It must have something to do with a lack of man action. I'd rather have smaller boobs than be a slut. An actual relationship would be nice though. In time...only in time.

I jumped off a 30 foot bridge at Blue River Reservoir this afternoon. Then lounged around drinking cheap beer at the dock. Such a wonderful day, despite my coming to terms with a breast crisis.

The Dark Knight was great. Heath Ledger completely makes the film. A definite must-see.

Summer treats

Champagne mangoes are delicious and so are iced Tazo Passion teas infused with lemonade from Starbucks.

Pain au chocolat

In the past couple of months I've had numerous dreams about traveling to France. Many of which involve a dramatic scene a at pastry shop where I buy something chocolate.

Currently I'm reading "Sucidial Planet" in hopes to get everyday tips to become more eco-friendly. They argue that "every little bit helps" doesn't actually help. I beg to differ, every bit does help, especially if many participate. It may not be enough but at least it is something. I do concur that drastic change is needed soon to alleviate the strain we are putting on the planet. I'm scared for the future condition of our world.

I've always felt a strange connection to the Native Americans tribes in the Pacific Northwest. I would like to think that I was part of one in a past life.

Since being home, occasional feelings of being stifled have overwhelmed me due to the near impossibility of biking from place to place and the loss of freedom that comes from living on one's own. Curfew...really mom, really?

I've frequently been getting hit on (even at work by customers) by every man except the one who I really want. He's only been hinting at it. He melts my heart like butta.

We stood at easels in art class this evening and my drawing turned out crooked.

The clouds outside my window look like the ones from "The Simpsons".

Snickers sandwiches

I need to find "my place". You know, that one spot where you go alone to contemplate life and feel better. That will be my mission the next couple of weeks.

Exactly one more month until my 21st birthday.

Snickers Ice Cream Brownie Sandwich = SO GOOD. The closest thing to sex. Definitely an orgasm in the mouth.

If the fish swam out of the ocean

Over the weekend I helped Katie move to Portland and holy crap, there are some crazy people who live there! Love it...so much diversity (not just about ethnicity in this context) and activity! I've never gotten so many shouts and hollers in my life. I even had an admirer at Waterfront Park who kept skateboarding by and smiling. It was actually quite cute. I think I could live in the city for a while until nature would beckon me back. Also, Portland's "naked bike ride" is now on my list of life goals. They organize secretly due to the illegality, so I must find my way in.

Another thing on the to-do list: get a fart ringtone and have someone call me in class so it would go off and no one would suspect it was a phone!! It sounds ridiculous, I know, but the thought completely amuses me.

I'm obsessed with Sam Sparro at the moment, especially "Black & Gold," which talks about the absurdity of life. He is even political and forward thinking. I'd be a gay man for him.

I bought a "stunning" floor length gown today for no purpose at all except to have it. Sarah talked me into it and I couldn't refuse because it fits beautifully. Now I just need some sort of a ball to wear it to. And a Prince Charming. :)

Last year I had a crush on my Math TA and we had a tentative date for coffee that never happened. He recently contacted me again and asked if we could hang out, also adding that I was "very attractive" and was wondering what I thought of him. How awkward! I know he is foreign but there are no excuses.

Oh Ryan, my possible love interest rides a motorcycle.

EDIT // Another goal: Nude beach! There are many spots around Eugene. How exciting! Eugene also has a nude bike ride but like Portland's, I just missed it.

EDIT 2 // Goals: learn how to play the bongos and play them with the other drummers at the Saturday Market, go topless with body paint at the Oregon Country Fair

Covered in rain

The air was warm this evening and I went out on the balcony to let the rain hit my skin. I tipped my head back and allowed the sprinkles cover my body, becoming one with the purity of nature. Surrounded by friends and the fresh smell of a new rain (and a few cute men) made the night delightful.

I won $50 on a scratch-it the other day.

You had me at shabby chic

Pottery Barn. As much as I hate it, I love it. Their perfect, mass-produced products...I can't help it! I secretly wish to subscribe to their catalog for all of the design ideas, cut them out and paste them in my inspiration binder. What a hypocrite I am! I will admit to nobody else that I like this place or I will keel over in disgust and guilt.
(Feeling: shameful)

A lone blossom

One more final to go and Junior year is done. It has been an interesting experience living with Marie and Whitney. I don't suggest having three roommates because there is always "odd man out". In this case, it was Marie. Not because we purposely left her out but because she constantly alienated herself. Unfortunately, we only recently had a conversation to resolve everything. I'm definitely going to miss living with Whitney and the CAT! Oh kitty. It will be so lonely without her. The greatest thing is, our craziest nights have been sober nights. House hunting for next year is a disaster. With the way things are going, Marie and I might be homeless next year. What else? My life continues to be romantically uninteresting. The most exciting it gets is flirting and lots of chocolate. But I'm content...and maybe a little apathetic at times. Now back to Eugene for hopefully a wonderful summer (even though Katie will be in Portland)!

My Japanese Peace Lilly has bloomed again this year:

Haworthias and merde

I purchased a small Haworthia succulent from the Saturday Market today. This will make plant number six. I'd forgotten how fun and relaxing an afternoon at the market is, especially here in Eugene.

My cousin's husband works at a high-end, sustainable architecture firm in Portland where he most likely would've given me a summer Interior Design internship. For some reason, my parents and myself included, regrettably talked me out of it because I didn't have enough experience or a portfolio. They said it "wouldn't be worth" living up there to file papers or do other meaningless tasks all day. But really it would be worth it. It would get my foot in the door.

Merde!

I'm worried that I'm not sufficiently design-oriented. I don't sketch ideas...or have too many ideas in general. Is that bad? Yes. That deserves another "merde". If I had a premise or reason for sketching, that would help me along. Meaning, I need to start looking at spaces and thinking of ways to recreate them. Oh god! I'm not so scared about not good enough as much as I'm scared that my designs won't be original or revolutionary. Breathe in, breathe out and go buy some interior architecture and design magazines. (Not only do I talk to myself in real life, I do it in blogs now too. haha Yesss.)

Sweet puddle of juice

I'm typing this blog with while almost naked. Feels so great. I really think I could join a nudist colony and be comfortable.

I have a predicament with housing for next year: either live with two girl whom I know I wouldn't be very happy with, or live by myself for three months until Whitney comes back from France. Either way doesn't seem like very much fun. I'm in limbo.

Story time! There was a sticky puddle on the kitchen counter this morning. Out of disgust, I cleaned it up but it was back by the afternoon. Perplexed, I searched around for a leak in the ceiling or any problem. Nothing. I sniffed the mysterious puddle only to find it was sweet smelling. My eyes met with the nearby fruit basket and spied the culprit, a rotten tangerine dripping it's juice onto the counter.

She's free

That's it, I'm transferring to UO! I've always been an inner hippie but going to the campus yesterday to made me want to fully embrace it. The majority of OSU seems to be caught up in a superficial rat race. I'm restricted there. I don't realize how much I move with the crowd in until I'm removed from it. I felt free and relaxed on the UO campus. Being amidst people who also have organic souls, I felt quite at home. I'm not going to let my surrounding dictate how I feel or what I do, so OSU...expect a full-blown hippie coming Monday.

Obama's speech was enriching. Though seemingly tired, he was still inspiring. He is definitely a uniter whereas Hillary is more of a policy-maker. The McCain bashing was annoying, that is one thing I dislike about politics. But I like his direction of more affordable higher education and a healthier international environment. I also locked eyes with the most beautiful man I have ever seen. He had glowing olive skin with hazel green eyes and was even hippie-ish. I must see him again.

Hopefully I will secure a job shadow with an interior designer here in Eugene for the summer. In addition I've decided to take drawing and painting classes at UO...do the whole starving artist thing, spending my extra time reading, biking, hiking, playing tennis, etc. Just enjoying life and not having a strict schedule. Thus keeping with my flowy lifestyle.

I'm creating myself as how I want to be, a free and creative soul that is kind, content and hopefully one day, selfless. I like this. :)

No more hot pink water bottle

My Nalgene lid melted in the dishwasher. Now it smells like a pair of freshly waxed skis...not the greatest scent for a dishwasher. :\

I'm officially in the Interior Design program. It seems like much more than a year ago that I decided to switch my major. A few friends and I are going to see Obama tomorrow at UO. It's my first time seeing a presidential hopeful speak, so I'm super excited. This should help me decide who to vote for.

I've been uncomfortably cold and sweaty all day.

Quality in a square

Today, I ate an entire package of Ritter Sport's Milk Chocolate with Hazelnuts.

Buff girl

Yes, yes I'm here to blog! Stephanie reminded me it has been over a month (ah!). I'm not really sure where the time went. Just school, friends...nothing crazy. Life is good but maybe a little lonely at times.

Whistler was gorgeous (so many people)! I signed up for group lessons but it ended up being just me and the instructor. I can actually turn now but am still having some trouble with the toe-edge. The true test is if I can carry my new-found skills into next season.

I bought some peace sign panties a few weeks ago and am excited to wear them.

I'm getting buff! It's true. With tennis two times a week plus other activities at the gym, biking and running outdoors, I'm frequently flexing and admiring my muscles in the mirror. Haha.

3 more months until my 21er. :)

PS: I'm even biking to the organic grocery store. How I love being natural...

New and somewhat fresh

In a little more than 12 hours, I will be in Canada (Yes Ryan, Stephanie and Alex, it is true. How are you guys, by the way?). I've never been to Canada and am eager at the chance to possibly speak French...and buy Canadian candy and pretend that I'm not American for a second or two. The snowboard instructor at Whistler will hopefully teach me a thing or two. As of right now, my skills are horrible!

New layout too. Not quite what I had imagined but a change was needed and I was too lazy to make something spectacular. Plus green is always refreshing. I always feel like I can smell the color green, usually orange too. Brain associations are crazy.

EDIT // To all those having trouble viewing the layout, hopefully things are fixed. Let me know if not.

Soiled bathrobe

Coffee is not a good thing to drink when I am stressed. It make me even more anxious, crazy and sweaty. Bathrobes are also not a good thing for me to wear, let a lone anyone, while using the toilet. Weird things happen. Ehh...

I'm glad for the large window in my room. So much natural light.

I have a tentative blind date. Although the "blind" part once you visit their Myspace. Luckily mine is private, it keeps the mystery.

This is the orchid my parents gave me. Beautiful! Hopefully I can keep it alive long enough for it to grow a stem and bloom.

Foot stench

It's important to listen to that saying, "Never shop when you are hungry." Today I came away with a box of chocolate donettes, dark chocolate covered biscuit cookies, two burritos, chocolate soy milk, chips and ohhh a few healthy things.

The other day I borrowed a friend's sneakers to play tennis and little did I know that they reeked like feet. Foot oder is on my list of "Worst smells in the world." But before I found out, I slipped on my own shoes. A few hours later, I took them off only to discover that my feet and (newly awesome) shoes also reeked! I've been diligently washing my feet and shaking Gold Bond Foot Powder into them, in hopes that the rank smell will dissipate.

Last week I took my gloves out of my school bag, seeing as the weather had changed. But alas, this week has called for the gloves to be put back in the bag for immediate use. Sun...come back!

:)

Since I stopped taking birth control a few weeks ago, I feel so much more...normal! And happier, sexier and vibrant. It probably has something to do with my new look on life as well. No matter what the cause, it is absolutely fabulous. Now I just need a good lay. Please? Please!! They should add "uncontrollable horniness" to the side effects of coming off birth control.

That is all.