Good Dick

I'm dying this movie when it comes near me/out to video:



Shamefully (or proudly?), the girl reminds me a lot of myself. The synopsis makes so completely excited to see it. I feel it has the potential to make it to the all-time favorite list.

Cactus update

It died.

:(

Fierce farter

I just blew the loudest, most massive, Guinness Book of World Records-worthy fart known to mankind and no one was around to witness it!! It came out with such force that it hurt my butt.

Earlier this afternoon, I was consumed by pavement claustrophobia. Everywhere I turned, the ground was covered. Panicked, I walked along the wild grass blocks between the sidewalk and the road to calm my nerves. I'm surmising this happened because I haven't hiked for over a month or so.

Something I've never understood: leaf blowers. Why? Let the wind do it's job. And if people slip on wet leaves from time to time, so be it. They probably had it coming to them anyway.

My cactus has mealy bugs! Hence the leaves falling off and white residue. Poor little guy (Frederic Edwardo the third).

And it makes me wonder

I've been meaning to write for sometime now...

Coming back to school has been good, although I've been feeling a bit sad and lonely as of lately. I swear our apartment bathroom was made for little people, or at least very short ones. Everything is so low. I almost broke the toilet the first time I sat down.

The other week I had a hazelnut steamer with hemp milk. It was quite delicious. And being a strong supporter of all things hemp, it made me enjoy it that much more.

I had a nice day to myself not too long ago. On a drizzly but humid day after class, I ventured downtown and rummaged around the hippie bead shop and discovered a new/used bookstore. I bought a few books about Buddhism and some of Walt Whitman's works. The teachings of Buddhism have recently become more attractive to me, as I now have multiple books, meditate on occasion and try to practice everyday. Buddhism is quite a learning process of training the mind. It would be nice to have some sort of instruction, especially since campus life is preaches quite the opposite of Buddhist ideals. I'm thinking of contacting my Philosophy teacher from a few years ago. Continuing with my gravitation towards Buddhism, I went to a lecture on campus given by Robert Thurman about his new book, Why The Dalai Lama Matters. One of the greatest speakers I've had the pleasure to see. Not only is he very intelligent and inherently compassionate but he cracks hilarious jokes...and snorts at them! He described the Dalai Lama as a "zoloft of the people" haha. He was very inspirational and uplifting.

My Halloween costume is all assembled and Fern, my inner hippie, is ready to spread peace, love and the amazingness that is Led Zeppelin. I'm super excited! All I need is a Jimmy Page as my companion.

On Wednesday I became one of the editors of the art and literary magazine on campus. :) A passion for art runs deep in my veins and this is the perfect opportunity. I will be judging student works to be published in our quarterly.

Just last week I was walking to campus on a sun-drenched but crisp morning. I looked up to see bright yellow leaves blowing off a tree and into the wind, juxtaposed against the blue sky. It was a highly spiritual moment. I walked to class a little slower that day.

A change is gonna come

Viagra emails are somehow getting through my amazing spam filter and are showing up in my inbox. Angry face.

Today was my last day of work until the holiday season. I'm going to miss a lot of people there, everyone was so nice. One of the girls even made me a card. :) There was a lot of diversity at "big box". It will be sombering to return to OSU and be surrounded by relative sameness.


I know I've turned over a new leaf with accepting commitment and relationships when toasting to "love" completely drunk. :)

The seasons are changing, as the scent of Fall blows freely in the wind. This makes me uncomfortable because it's come up so suddenly. I'm not ready to accept Fall. Summer has been so grateful to me.

Beer

In my new experience of legal drinking, I've decided that Widmer Brother's Hefeweizen is my favorite beer on tap. Delicious.

Flattery

I've been working at Target for a little over two months and I've already trained two people and been in charge for half the store on multiple occasions. Last night, after hearing sad news (below), the store leader said he would like for me to become a manager and to stay with Target even after I graduate. He loves my positive and friendly attitude, he "knows a great team lead when he sees one". It was very flattering but my dreams are bigger. At least I know I'll always have a job and a reference.

The past couple of days I'd been having very strong premonitions that something bad was going to happen to someone I know. These feelings intensified yesterday mid-morning. Whenever a feeling like this comes along, it's always right. Consequently, last night at work I learned that my motorcycle-riding crush was in a bad motorcycle accident around lunch time, leaving him unable to walk for at least four months. My heart dropped to the floor. He is one of the nicest guys and to have this happen to him is shocking. We'd been talking this entire summer and our mutual attraction had been growing. This whole thing is very upsetting to me. All I want to do is see him, hear his voice, touch his face and kiss his lips. We've never even kissed (although there have been many conversations about it haha)! Everything is going to be so between with us now. Not seeing him at work is going to be very weird too. He's honestly part of this reason I enjoy working there. Obviously I've been suppressing feelings for him. No surprise there...

My heterosexual life partner Whitney is in France for the term and I missss her :(.

Hanson was amazing. The sold out crowd was energetic, friendly and mature. I think they were shocked at the energy of the NW fans that they've neglected to visit these past five years. Hanson's humanitarian efforts are also inspiring and commendable.

The word "cattery" was in the newspaper this morning. I found it so amusing that I want to include it in my vocabulary. Get thee to a cattery!

The boys are back in town

Only a few weeks left until I return to school and our apartment. The porch right outside of my bedroom is the perfect place to set my easel for outside artistry. I'm super excited but I don't want summer to end quite yet.

In the midst of summer activities of friends and flirts, I forgot to mention that I'm going to see Hanson perform tonight in Portland. It is about 5 years ago to date that I met them backstage at the Aladdin. How times have changed.

I may be getting myself into some trouble with a certain male but everyone needs a little trouble from time to time.

Every time my cactus is watered, it loses a leaf. I'm worried. Am I a bad plant owner?

I cannot turn my mind off to fall asleep!!

Keep on rockin'

My art class has opened my eyes to the versatility of charcoal. What was once my enemy has now become my best friend. I absolutely love working in this medium and plan to buy all the essential supplies.

Driving back from my final art class at the beloved hippie campus of UO, there was a guy strumming his electric guitar on the street corner. "Keep on rockin'!" he yelled enthusiastically. The poor guy wasn't getting any response, so as I drove by I threw up the devil's horns (for all things rock 'n roll) and made a hardcore rocker face. He was so excited and yelled ecstatically, "Rock on!! WOO!" I think we made each other's nights.

Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte. It's a beautiful thing. Not to mention their swimming skills are exceptional. Lochte is is a gorgeous man, reminiscent of an ancient Greek. My mouth literally falls open and an "ooohhh" escapes while looking at pictures and/or watching him on TV. He is a gift from the Greek gods.

Oh! I was stung by a bee while on a bike ride with some friends this afternoon. Something dark and buzzing suddenly collided with my neck, followed by a dull, stinging pain. Only random, crazy things like that happen to me.

Natural paradox

The longer I go without sex, the more and more I crave hot dogs. Not the pathetic Ball Park Frank kind but the big, juicy Bratwurst kind. Pretty soon, brats are the only thing I'm going to be eating!

I have the sudden urge to make a glowstick dress and wear it to a rave, preferably a European rave.

EDIT // My new planner has a quote for each week. It's really nice.

My 21er was an epic event, spanning two cities in two weekends with many friends and too many free drinks.

I'm getting new glasses to replace my 8 year old pair à la Harry Potter. I've narrowed it down to three pairs, although the Gucci ones are my favorite.

The other day I realized one of my greatest fears is to end up on one of those dating websites.

Major crisis

My boobs have gotten smaller and I don't know why!! AHH! I'm angry, sadden and I feel like I have lost a part of myself. It must have something to do with a lack of man action. I'd rather have smaller boobs than be a slut. An actual relationship would be nice though. In time...only in time.

I jumped off a 30 foot bridge at Blue River Reservoir this afternoon. Then lounged around drinking cheap beer at the dock. Such a wonderful day, despite my coming to terms with a breast crisis.

The Dark Knight was great. Heath Ledger completely makes the film. A definite must-see.

Summer treats

Champagne mangoes are delicious and so are iced Tazo Passion teas infused with lemonade from Starbucks.

Pain au chocolat

In the past couple of months I've had numerous dreams about traveling to France. Many of which involve a dramatic scene a at pastry shop where I buy something chocolate.

Currently I'm reading "Sucidial Planet" in hopes to get everyday tips to become more eco-friendly. They argue that "every little bit helps" doesn't actually help. I beg to differ, every bit does help, especially if many participate. It may not be enough but at least it is something. I do concur that drastic change is needed soon to alleviate the strain we are putting on the planet. I'm scared for the future condition of our world.

I've always felt a strange connection to the Native Americans tribes in the Pacific Northwest. I would like to think that I was part of one in a past life.

Since being home, occasional feelings of being stifled have overwhelmed me due to the near impossibility of biking from place to place and the loss of freedom that comes from living on one's own. Curfew...really mom, really?

I've frequently been getting hit on (even at work by customers) by every man except the one who I really want. He's only been hinting at it. He melts my heart like butta.

We stood at easels in art class this evening and my drawing turned out crooked.

The clouds outside my window look like the ones from "The Simpsons".

Snickers sandwiches

I need to find "my place". You know, that one spot where you go alone to contemplate life and feel better. That will be my mission the next couple of weeks.

Exactly one more month until my 21st birthday.

Snickers Ice Cream Brownie Sandwich = SO GOOD. The closest thing to sex. Definitely an orgasm in the mouth.

If the fish swam out of the ocean

Over the weekend I helped Katie move to Portland and holy crap, there are some crazy people who live there! Love it...so much diversity (not just about ethnicity in this context) and activity! I've never gotten so many shouts and hollers in my life. I even had an admirer at Waterfront Park who kept skateboarding by and smiling. It was actually quite cute. I think I could live in the city for a while until nature would beckon me back. Also, Portland's "naked bike ride" is now on my list of life goals. They organize secretly due to the illegality, so I must find my way in.

Another thing on the to-do list: get a fart ringtone and have someone call me in class so it would go off and no one would suspect it was a phone!! It sounds ridiculous, I know, but the thought completely amuses me.

I'm obsessed with Sam Sparro at the moment, especially "Black & Gold," which talks about the absurdity of life. He is even political and forward thinking. I'd be a gay man for him.

I bought a "stunning" floor length gown today for no purpose at all except to have it. Sarah talked me into it and I couldn't refuse because it fits beautifully. Now I just need some sort of a ball to wear it to. And a Prince Charming. :)

Last year I had a crush on my Math TA and we had a tentative date for coffee that never happened. He recently contacted me again and asked if we could hang out, also adding that I was "very attractive" and was wondering what I thought of him. How awkward! I know he is foreign but there are no excuses.

Oh Ryan, my possible love interest rides a motorcycle.

EDIT // Another goal: Nude beach! There are many spots around Eugene. How exciting! Eugene also has a nude bike ride but like Portland's, I just missed it.

EDIT 2 // Goals: learn how to play the bongos and play them with the other drummers at the Saturday Market, go topless with body paint at the Oregon Country Fair

Covered in rain

The air was warm this evening and I went out on the balcony to let the rain hit my skin. I tipped my head back and allowed the sprinkles cover my body, becoming one with the purity of nature. Surrounded by friends and the fresh smell of a new rain (and a few cute men) made the night delightful.

I won $50 on a scratch-it the other day.