Unpredictable

How do you know if a guy is 'the one'? Maybe not necessarily for life, but to date. Will you instinctual know it? I am so picky and my standards are so high, that I reject everything that is not perfect in my eyes. I have been bombarded with so many guys recently, what if I have passed up the one? I like being single but then again I want someone to love and I want someone to love me.

I don't want to pass up something beautifully amazing. It is hard to see everything clearly when you are blinded (at least in one eye) by someone else. Its hard to cope when you know that something might be right but its now unattainable.

I think I will just know it....I hope.

Love is a tough subject, so forget it. I've gone through a lot these past two weeks. I had a revelation on Sunday. My drinking was out of control. I was out of control. I had no respect for myself and I just didn't care. My motto was "Just fuck it."? I was already in the hole, so what was another mistake? My drinking started affecting others close to me, then I realized it had become a big problem. When my shit hurt other people it just had to be changed. I'm changing. Drinking not to get drunk as fast a possible, but to get a nice buzz and have fun. No more shows to put on. No more making out with random guys. No more crazy ass shit. I have potential to live up to. I have myself, and that is all I've got.

This made me giggle:
A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Now, as we know, excessive intake of alcohol kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. And that is why you always feel smarter after a few beers.