Unpredictable

For years, I've wanted to do something to help people and affect their lives. I wish I had millions of dollars to give to charity. I wish I had a stronger stomach to be a nurse, even a doctor. I wish I was good with large groups of kids to be a teacher. I've always felt like nuturing and comforting people. Then I realized last night that I could do that on a smaller scale by being a mom. I need to start volunteering again, too. Maybe there is some profession out that where I could provide nuturance to many. Any ideas?

Logan didn't fit my car, so I changed it's name to Luke. Its much more fitting, seeing as it is a sexy dark blue Mustang (2002). Must post pictures of it sometime. I haven't had any galmour shots with it yet.

My Grandma might be dying, she fell the other night and isn't doing well. She's 94 so I kind of thought she would live forever, you know? My mom is going up to see her tomorrow. I want to as well but fucking work has me scheduled all day...work isn't important, I want to see her. I feel guilty because I haven't seen her since August or so. We are only two hours apart so its not that hard to make the time. Why do we have so many regrets when people die or are on the verge of dying? Ryan needs to hold me and tell me its going to be okay.

I'm waiting for something or someone to change my life.