A person doesn't realize how attached they are to their surroundings until hits them with the fact that they are leaving. As much as I don't like Eugene, I love it. I love it's little quirky attributes, the odd beauty you can find walking down the streets, the hippies (the hippies!!), but most of all I'm used to it. This is what I know. I don't know much else. From this point on, I'm going to be creating a new "Eugene" for myself. This intrigues me but scares me at the same time.

I hope that next year I can post here with many a great stories...and bad ones too. I want to fuck up, make mistakes, and grow. I want to have fun and enjoy my youth in all it's youthful glory..or something to that sort. I don't want to become another drab individual always looking for something better. Most of all, I want to find myself and feel completed for the first time in my life. I know this will not happen in a mere 4 years but over a lifetime.

I feel much more clear-headed after writing that (did I just have a mini-revelation?). Oh the joys of blogging.

Plugs: Laura

EDIT // I got some kickin' speakers for my dorm room today. Plus a printer AND the perfect academic planner. YES.

Somedays I think I like him and others I don't. Isn't it weird how interaction between two people, depending on the intensity, can make or break an attraction? There is also another boy man. *giggle* Oh he is super. Super sweet, super funny, super cute with a super smile. Supa, supa, dat's supa (haha how fun it is to quote old hanson videos). He is one of those guys you can tell is a genuinely good guy that would be worth pursuing. If only I wasn't leaving in a couple of weeks, then me and him would be togetha. Oh fho sho!

I finally jumped into the new and improved technology pool and got a camera flip phone. It is tres fun.

Random, funny quote of the day: "Last week North Korea publicly admitted for the first time it has nuclear weapons. The Bush administration has so far shown very little concern, as the North Korean missiles are believed only capable of reaching the Blue States." --Jon Stewart

Props to the Canadian, Blink fanatic, and X-Filer...love you guys. :)

New stiggin' friggin' layout (featuring Mischa Barton)! Let me know your thoughts, for they are always appreciated. In the past six months my graphic design activity has dropped significantly, so this layout sprouted from a creative burst of design energy.

I'm making it a habit to do my lame pilates/yoga video every day since I terminated my gym membership due to work schedule conflicts (sometimes they make me open the restaurant at 10 am, ew). I don't know if it is working but it's quite relaxing on the muscles.

I might go make brownies.

I also might like a boy. I haven't decided yet/haven't accepted the fact that there might be a possible crush. Just something childish out of a lack of boredom.

Plug: x

I think I've learned this summer to cherish what I have, because nothing ever stays the same.

Today I was contemplating space time. I thought, "There are no time zones in space, so how can they tell what time it is?" Then it occurred to me that time in space doesn't even matter. Maybe time in years, centuries, and millenniums, but certainly not in minutes.

The only thing keeping me from closing this site is the past. I have a hard time getting rid of things I've kept so close to my heart for so long.

Occasionally at work I have the strongest urges to butt in on people's conversations. Eves dropping is quite entertaining and I can't suppress the need to put my five cents in.

I'm finding all these people from my old elementary school in Washington on thefacebook and is it weeeeird, man. Really weird. It's odd to think of those people as grown up because in my mind they are all little 5th graders.

This blog is going downhill. Hopefully it will make a turn for the better and win the tour de blog when college starts in the fall. I have no idea what I'm talking about at this point so I dearly excuse any random, unexplainable words that come out of my mouth. No hands, actually. My hands get dry from work, so sometimes I use lotion. The non-greasy kind (of course).

Question of the day: What would your catch phrase be if you were a playa (assuming you aren't one)?

The past, present and future changes of this year feel like they almost belong to someone else. Graduation, working, legalization, college seem so "adult", yet I feel so immature and inexperienced. I've accepted these changes but my problem is that I haven't embraced them.

OSU Registration, with the intent to make us feel like all-grown up collegiates, only made me feel younger. High school still lingered in the auras of the attendees. Fresh minds and eager spirits. It reminded me of the term "eager beaver" which is kind of ironic considering we are the Oregon State Beavers (haha hot damn, I'm full of puns). By the way, I'm taking badminton Fall term lmfao. It can't get any cooler than that.

My feet smell horrible! It must be the thin socks creating some sort of smelly sweat complex.

I painted today and it reminded me how much I love arting (why isn't that a word?).

Wonderful, lovely, amazing commenters: Mez, RJA, Sez

Shit. Almost two months. The dry spell will be cleared up very soon. Until then, think of how I can celebrate my 18th birthday on the 27th of this very special month of July.

It seems like a blogging dry spell has fallen upon me these past few days. I am very sorry to my three loyal visitors. So from the depths of my cozy bed, I introduce to you the latest entry:

Most of the people at work are very friendly and nice. There is one girl who is super cool and slightly reminds me of Daria. She has been nice from day one but not in a fake, over-exaggerated way. My hands are dry and have started to peel in some areas from touching water all day. The life of a busser is truly glamorous. I also need to start learning everyones names, especially my managers. I'm so bad with names (doesn't everyone say that?).

Since reading about the "all who is inside of a car looks like they are riding in a funeral procession" part in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, I've realized how true that is for others and myself. I feel confined in a car, trapped behind glass. Maybe that is why I'm not too fond of driving. I need something more free and open. Instead of buying a car a few years down the road, I might just get an electric bike. If I wasn't so chicken I'd consider a motorcycle. But I'm not that hardcore yet.

Lately I've been going through this miniscule "save the earth" phase. I've been recycling eeevverything at home, and while at work, feeling guilty about throwing a recyclable in the trash. As well as thinking if I had to get a car it would be a hybrid or an even eltectric (if they didn't make them so ugly. Why can't they make "healthy" car good looking?) There is also some good news--if you visited the "saveourvalley" link I posted a few entries back, you'll be glad to know that there will NOT be a power plant going in. The proposal was scrapped after the company classified it as an "unsuitable area with much opposition".

I beat my high score on Pac Man today.

PLUGS: Alex & RJA

I registered to vote yesterday. It was a proud moment in my life. :)

I'm having second thoughts about this dorm thing. Considering I hate public restroom/communal bathrooms, it will be an interesting challenge. See, I need privacy on the throne. I need to sit my little butt down, get relaxed and comfortable to make the best of my bathroom experience. And how could I do that knowing that 5 million other asses have been on that toilet. I'm fine with my own poop germs, but other peoples'?...forget it!

After months of a dry spell in the unemployed but looking life, I have hit some gold. Over the past few days I've had two interviews and two others that I had to shoot down because I landed a job. Wooh! I'll be busing at a local pizza joint. haha And wearing a sweet uniform too.

Plugs: Michelle, Alex, Johnny Crash (aksjdfhaksdhf I love the Bleu Jeans idea. Simply perfect.)

Watch out world, I am armed and so very, very dangerous. I now have an Oregon Foodhandler Card. Beware, because I can legally cook your food. And please, stay out of the danger zone (aka 41-140 degrees).

I think I found my destiny on the working environment, or perhaps a short-lived destiny in retail; owning a jeans store. I don't know why I never thought of this before, but while watching "A Makeover Story" on TLC (shut up, it's my lunch time ritual) it suddenly hit me, and was like, "Omfg this is the coolest idea ever." So I need to think of some good names. Not anything corny like Bean's Jeans, or trendy like Da Sweetest Jeans in Da Hood (because frankly a business would fail miserably no matter what is sold with a name like that). Something hip yet classic is the cure.

Da sweetest commenters in da hood: Johnny Crash, RJA, Michelle, May...you guys are keepers. :)

Last night I had a dream that I wrote the coolest blog entry ever. But to my dismay it never materialized into the conscience world. And I can't quite remember what it was about. For some reason elephants are coming to mind.

No one visits this side anymore. It's sad.

I missed the Elvis movie w/Jonathan Reese Myers. His lips are amazing. I want to be his Valentine (and take that whichever way you want to, ha).

Have you ever wanted something sugary (or any food for that matter) so bad but when you finally eat it, it is just run of the mill and doesn't live up to your sugary dreamy thoughts? BUT THEN you keep doing that and each time you are let down, again and again but you STILL crave it even with knowing the end results. Shit's weird like that.

Helloooo friends. I got my hair cut today. She curled in loose curls so it's all fun and bouncy. And it smells really nice. I contemplated buying the products because lately my hair and been dry and damaged but I didn't want to be set back 2398472984729374 dollars. So I bought a white skirt at Old Navy instead. That justification doesn't work but whatev.

This weekend I'm going to attempt to make a home-made frappuccino. Those things are the shit. (God...it's only Monday..NOO).

So I got to thinking earlier this afternoon, when I'm employed I'm going to blow my first paycheck on over-priced but good quality hair products and make up. It's nice to pamper yourself once in a while.

I have designed a new layout but am not sure if I could put it up quite yet. What are your thoughts? Yes? No?


lmfao That is a classic. This guy's good.

I need someone to show me how to love.

My hot, tall love interest at Trade Joe's has a girlfriend. :( I heard the news today when he was talking about her to the customer in front of us. So I was all depressed and melancholy when he asked us how we were. But then he looked and me and was like, "How are YOU? I just want to see you smile!" I immediately feel out of my depression and was like, "I LOVE YOU. LET'S GO TO THE FROZEN FOOD DEPARTMENT AND MAKE OUT."

My jeans and necklace from Guess came in the mail today. They are perfecto (glam shots appearing soon hah). I bought some Acrylic paint supplies today to continue my "hands-on" art approach. I figured it's better to spend time doing something creative than wasting time watching TV or surfing the net.

Listening to Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" makes me want to dress in 80's retro digs with polka-dots, oversized white glasses, and accents of hot pink and neon green.

Taylor Hanson needs to stop procreating for the good of this world. I wouldn't be surprised if this one came out of his uterus this time around haha.

This makes me drool everytime I see it.

Attention: Affiliates Wanted Inquire here.

www.saveourvalley.com

Mt. Bachelor was rad (gotta love the 80's lingo). It was by far the best snowboarding I've done..I've got mad skills, yo. The trails are much better than Willamette, PLUS I rode off the lift 5/6 times instead of falling. I felt so accomplished. Snow wasn't that bad either. Got 6 great runs in which is amazing considering I usually do 4, and adding to the fact that I'll be turning pro next year *cough*. Also, I want this board (154) and some new riding duds.

Senioritis is a killer. It's affecting all of my joints and is quickly spreading to the outer extremities. My motivation is completely wiped out. Which reminds me, I didn't even wipe out on the mountain. Okay...maybe a half-biff (but that doesn't count).

There's a spot on my neck that's dry.

Dear Ideal Roommate,
Please contact me ASAP because everyone else is unfit and/or are dimwits.
LOOOOOVEEE,
Ash

Dear Opportune Summer Job,
Please hire me so I cane get out of the house. I don’t smell (all the time) and have an amazing knack for blue jeans, dorky life philosophies and fruit smoothies.
Lots of hugs and kisses,
Ashley

"Zen And The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" is an intriguing book; one that needs to be read hundreds of times before you can appreciate the profound words. I think I shall buy it used and highlight it to my hearts content. *whips out bright pink highlighter* Ahaha I really need to get out more.

FYI, the new "recover post" feature on Blogger is a BLOG SAVER. Oy vay!

And RJA, all this time I thought a powerstash was some fancy electronic...

New layout, I glamed it up a little. Word. Now it will only be a matter of mintues before I grow tired of this. So sick and so very, very tired.

Starting next week and continuing for the rest of the school year I'll be getting out at 10:20. Yes, that's in the morning. I have no idea what the frick to do with my extra time. The job market doesn't seem to want me and homework is virtually non-existant.

...facial itching, doh! The Cortizone for the allergic reaction rash instructs me to "not put directly in rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device." Damnit! I shouldn't have used those forceps.

My make up was professionally done for senior pictures yesterday, and this morning I woke with little bumps all over my face. Stupid scented foundation *grumbles*. My skin is uber sensitive (HA uber..). I have the greatest luck ever haha.

I need to find a roomie for next year. The girl who I was going to room with bailed out and is going to another school. The other girls I've been talking to are nice but aren't the best match. I don't want to get screwed over with a crappy dorm and a crappy roommate.

I feel like going to Greece right now. Anyone up for an adventure?

I feel utterly and completely disgusting. My skin is not cooperating..the new pimples meds were "supposed" to help, but are really fighting it. Granted I don't have the worst acne case in the world (one word of advice: don't type in 'acne' on Google pictures. SICK), but still. My hair is lifeless. I need a new, fresh cut. You can't have the same haircut for 4 god damn years and NOT get bored of it!

[end complaining because that seems like it's all I ever do]

Randomly found my prom dress online while looking at a friend's. It's more burgundy in real life but it would be hot if it were more raspberry like in that picture.

Oh, THESE ARE THE MOST DISGUSTING SHOES ON EARTH. Why the frick do people of all ages insist in wearing them? They are even uglier on the foot for god's sakes. And parents are subjugating their poor babies who can't even speak for themselves to wear these sick excuses for shoes. This is a sad, sad time we live in.

Feeling: exanimate