I feel utterly and completely disgusting. My skin is not cooperating..the new pimples meds were "supposed" to help, but are really fighting it. Granted I don't have the worst acne case in the world (one word of advice: don't type in 'acne' on Google pictures. SICK), but still. My hair is lifeless. I need a new, fresh cut. You can't have the same haircut for 4 god damn years and NOT get bored of it!

[end complaining because that seems like it's all I ever do]

Randomly found my prom dress online while looking at a friend's. It's more burgundy in real life but it would be hot if it were more raspberry like in that picture.

Oh, THESE ARE THE MOST DISGUSTING SHOES ON EARTH. Why the frick do people of all ages insist in wearing them? They are even uglier on the foot for god's sakes. And parents are subjugating their poor babies who can't even speak for themselves to wear these sick excuses for shoes. This is a sad, sad time we live in.

Feeling: exanimate

Hey hey heey! That was supposed to sound like Fat Albert, by the way. I'm back from Hawaii, slightly tan, and depressed that I have to go back to normal life in the cold. The North Shore of Oahu is amazing. The perfect amount of tropical beauty, surfers and tourists, being it one of the best places to surf in the world. Hale'iwa is that quint beach town that is relaxing and amusing at the same time. They even have random wild chickens walking about. I hope that place stays the same forever. Some things should never change. Oh, I also hanged ten a couple of time. But on a foam surf board tehehe. Surfing is way fun.

I like flying over cities at night, the lights are so entertaining...I'm kind of like a crow that sees something shiny.

Blaaaghhh. You know that feeling when you've eaten too much of a bad thing? It's not pleasant. Too many chicken strips and jo-jo's are never a good thing. Quite delicious at the beginning but 10 mintues later one finds oneself in an unhappy situation for the next hour.

My senior pictures are on April Fool's Day. I am confident this guy will do better than the last. I want to get a cute dress but after the shoot it would hang lifelessly in my closet because sadly, I have no one to wear it for (except on those late nights with Tha Graw aka Gavin DeDraw).

Have a fabulous week! Fun the sun here I come.

Please, send your good weather omens my way so it will follow me to Hawaii. It's currently raining there :\ Hopefully a sunny front will appear by the time this weekend rolls around. It is sad that I'm already packed? I started last week haha. Okay, yeah...that is sad.

Anyone have any ideas to revive Art Club? As "co-prez" I really should know these things...

Hm, I already feel an urge to put up a new layout.

Zac Hanson is engaged. Yes friends, he is officially off the market. So now I will be targeting Mackenzie. Buwhahaha. Sick.

Hello there, strangers. It's been a while hasn't it? A few things have changed since we last talked:
-Got accepted into OSU and am currently corresponding with a few roommates
-Currently submitting scholarships and searching for a job
-Saw Matt Nathanson in concert (amazing) and met him
-Attended The One Tree Hill Tour in Ptwon, met Tyler Hilton and Gavin DeGraw, witnessed a life-chaing performance by Gavin (my love)
-Purchased my first real DVD, Garden State and fell in love with Zach Braff
-Used a free 1 month gym membership
-Tanned a total of 4 times in prep for Hawaii
-Ate Thin Mints

Whew. Semi-short list, but good times. Hope you like the new layout. I saw that John Mayer picture and knew it was destined for a layout. The texture is by somebody who I forget, so credit goes to that unknown talent. Updates to 1st celeb crush, Bootylicious Boys, About Me, LJ Icons, Fashion Sense, My Music, Quotes. Sorry for the downtime. I expected to be back sooner but L-E was having server problems and eventually decided to close. But Unpredictable is back and under the wing of Rain at Eidas.org!

I've recently been inspired by a few people, Matt Nathanson and Gavin DeGraw. Truly incredibly musicans and people. Gavin, my husband, knows how to rock. I haven't felt music like that ever. You could actually feel the rush of energy and emotion surge through your body. It was difficult going back to life after seeing them live. The hard hit of reality hurt (even though I am still slightly high on Gavin and must write my review asap).

Sometime you need a few drinks to fall in love...

Today I realized that I don't know how to have fun. I mean, I know how to have fun, but not real, genuine fun. I can when I'm around others who know how to but I've never really learned how to have an accessive amount of good time. I don't think its no so much learning as it is just being around it. So actually, I've never been around real fun throughout the entire span of my life. It seems weird to think about this, but that's what I want my life to be. Sometimes I take shit too seriously. It would be nice to be goofier, but not to the point of immaturity. Once I step back at look at the situation I see that whenever I'm around people who are naturally reserved I tend to get bored and metamorphesize into that quiet way of life. But when I'm around the constant unpredictableness and humor of a funny person, I change into that. Mentally and emotionally it feels so much better and clearer to laugh and play around a little. Hopefully in the continuing years of my life I will meet more people who improve me instead of deteriorate me (and my spirit).

Even though the site is on hiatus and no one can see this right now, I felt I needed to get the following out anyhow.

My friend, who is now deeply religious, is refusing to read an assigned book because the group who controls and brainwashes these fictional people is not God. Now I understand that because if you don't want to read something because it is against your beliefs, by god then don't. And its awesome she is standing up for what she thinks, but for one, it is a book and it is not going to harm you be to cultured. If I were assigned a devoutly religious text, as much as I wouldn't want to read it, I would anyway to learn something new and understand the beliefs of others (Then again, I'm a book whore). I wanted to tell her but refrained because I'm not one to start face to face skirmishes.

We're starting to read Hamlet in Lit. Shakespeare is eeevil. I hate reading his plays, though listening is bareable at times (only with skilled actors). Many people claim that he "invented" thousands of words and sayings, but I don't dare give credit to purely one man for all of that work. He might have been the first to write it down, but not speak it all of it. Many of "his sayings" were probably language he heard on the street and so on. But on come, one man cannot have that much literary and language power. There must be some other explaination! Over the years, words could have been changed with each performance by different actors, etc. There is so much error in written and spoken language. Sometimes I wish we could communicate only with our emotions, eyes and body language. It seems so much more pure and true.

I finished my OSU application..sent it in yesterday. Oh the joys of online apps. Now to my Petit Prince rough draft that I've out off until the last mintue...

Since yesterday, I've been completely engrossed in a new novel I picked up at the library titled The Queen of the Big Time. It's a silly little love story of an Italian-American girl who in the process of facing hardships finds her significant other(s). I'm always a sucker for a good love story. So if you've read any good fiction books, feel free to reccomend some.

A few people on the Hnet boards, people are like, "THANK GOD HANSON IS SAFE!" It's pretty pathetic that when a huge natural disater like this tsunami hits, and all some fans can think about is how Hanson just missed it by a couple of weeks. I always pass by the tsunami warning sign at the docks in Florence and chuckle because a huge wave crashing down on the town seems so unrealistic.

The other day I got to thinking that I'm reall smart in my subconcious haha. It sounds funny, but I think of the most ingenious things while being half-awake and half-asleep. Random things will pop into my mind, like a French word that I suddenly knowing the meaning of, or the answer to a test questions I couldn't think of, or recollections of a memory long forgotten. Most likely, many of us could prosper while in this state. But there would have to be some kind of catch, like a crazy machine strapped to your left pinky so you could fully function. While I'm fulling awake it feels like there is something mentally holding me back, but in this half-aware dream land I feel no boundries. That reminds me of our ecstasy project Freshman year hahaha. "You e-tard!"

Something you should not try at home:
Burning your tongue on hot soup. Eating uncomfortably the whole day. Absent-mindedly forgetting your burned taste buds and brushing your tongue before bed (even with a "soft" toothbrush). Waking up the next day to the same condition. This leads to pain.

My closet is yearning for a new pair of jeans. Actually I am but hehe, it's easier to blame it on the closet. I am the jean queen. Although not so much lately because I've stopped wearing a select few. SO that means there is only 22345872394 left to wear! Gah. And that just isn't healthy. I need at least 29347 more.

I always assumed that in Mad TV's Rusty skit, the Zimas he would drink were fictional. But I saw them at Safeway haha. Safeway-The Safe Way To Go.

Updates: Added a new section called "Listening Pleasures"--has a whole bunch of banners from artists that I enjoy and support...and you should too.

Happy belated Bday Ryan!

I'm slightly congested right now. And the funny part is, I got mustard on my Kleenex earlier, so it looks like some really rancid yellow boogers.

My OSU applications is going well. But what has been the most challenging part of my life? How did I over come it? I don't freaking know. I haven't lived enough to know that yet. I haven't faced any extremely drastic challenges. Gah. *bangs head on tropical parrot mouse pad* I'm more or less picky and OSU seems like my best bet. But it seems conservative to fill out just one application. I think my answer lies in watching the sugar plum faeries dance in my head and a good day of Paul Walker butt shots. Which reminds me of yesterday when I heard a little girl say "I think it's fine when little boys model underwear but when grown men do it, it's just disgusting!" Lmfao.

Welcome our new affiliate Mattie! I've also strategically been updating "LJ Icons". So look back in that section every now and then to see some new shhtuff.

An early Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! :)

Edit // Just send out my Holiday email. If you didn't get it for some reason or another, the graphic can be found here.

I recently discovered that I can twist my lips at a diagonal angle, like this, except at a more extreme level (thank you Isaac Hanson for the example).

Volunteering at Toys for Tots was um, interesting. Katie and I stacked toys on shelves for three hours. The incompetence of some of the workers was quite annoying. They kept giving us conflicting information. "Stay behind the shelves! *grumble" "Oh no, please give out toys. Feel free to go in front of the shelves." Idiots. The Marines helping at the event were so young...and short haha. I was taller than a lot of them. Humph. I like being tall. It used to be that I was ashamed for being tall but now I embrace it because well, I can reach things. buwhaha. Noo just kidding. It gives me more presence and confidence (meaning confidence level is at 3. Anyone know where I can find some confidence. Anyone? Anyone?). And I have a larger chance to work my sex on you while you shroud in my wrath *menacing laughter*. Erh *looks around nervously*. Anyway.

I'm getting sick. YAY. Oh holy poop on a shhhtick. I forgot about the nice Toys for Tots perk, a free Nine West purse. Those babies are spendy too.

I feel like getting on a catwalk, strutting my stuff to some outlandish techno beats, and wearing a magnificently expensive outfit that no one in the world would be dumb enough to wear. The best part of waking up is Folgers’ in your cup.

Alex and Ryan: I ridiculously love you two. Now go put on your Depend underwear before another feeling gets hurt (or fecal matter unleashed hahaha that sounds like the name of a really bad horror movie).

For starters, this might be short because I kind of have to go poop.

This morning was one of those mornings where your bed is so comfortable and warm that it feels illegal to get up. My fuzzy blanket and feathered mattress cover (haha) were delectably divine. It's so difficult to bring myself into morning mode so close to "Winter Break". Each year I always make New Year's Resolutions, but this year I decided that I won't. Partly due to that fact that I never achieve any of them and end up feeling crummy about my laziness/procrastination. Also, it would be nice to make a list of accomplishments that I never set out to do, but did anyway. Over the past couple of years I've noticed how my work ethic has tunneled through a downward spiral. I used to be driven and (more) naive. I'm not really sure how that happened. But that is besides to point. Last night I was listening to Loveline, and Adam Corolla commented on how instead of thinking about the failures that you might encounter while doing something, "just do it". Obviously this had been said before (thank you Nike) but I guess it never processed in my brain. So yes folks, I will now be "just doing it"! GAAAA I just made myself a resolution. Doh. Stupid me.


Ooh Shopko had 10 different Orlando Bloom posters. I got distracted while shopping for a gingerbread men cookie cutter, kind of like a crow that sees shiny metal. Do you know how hard those are to find, by the way? My mom and I went to 5 different stores. How hard is it to stock up on gingerbread men cutters? My gosh.

After much consideration to make my Holiday graphic general (which will be emailed out shortly), I realized that I used a Christmas ornament picture haha...Okay, it wasn't that funny but slightly ironic.

To my commenters (how I love thee):
Ryan-*hits you with a spatula* Update! The same problem strikes me a lot too. So I take back the spatula hitting haha.
Alex-Do you know how good that made me feel? Meh, you are da best. *hands you a pink banana* Fake Xmas trees aren't fun. Do you guys have that tree spray made to imitate the real sent? haha Those crack me up. This is so cliché, but the #1 thing on my list is probably real, warm, love (and happiness). lmfao Buuuut if that didn't work out, loads of money so I could get a short-lived happy spending rush. Which then would make me feel worse off, so maybe not. Actually I would like to know what to do/be in life for a career. But if you are talking materialistically, then falling into a huge tub of fudge would be kind of fun-every so slightly warm and creamy...perfect for water ballet and stylistic dives. This is turning into a much longer answer than needed! lol

I haven't been feeling very happy with myself lately. My attitude with school, emotions, thoughts and body quite frankly suck. I'm disappointed because I'm doing this to myself and also because I don't know why. I'll never be able to figure my brain out. But that would be humanly impossible because you can never be smarter than your brain and if you were that means that you weren't really you and then...Well anyway, I must dig myself out of this rut.

My lit teacher is so fucked up (she is still bothering me, and will continue to all year). Every class she talks about some passage in literature symbolizing sex. It is good to talk about it every now and then because as a society we need to be more open. But it is getting to the point where it's creepy. For example, in the book "The Metamorphosis" she said "the apples that Gregor's father is throwing at Gregor symbolizes testicles, and the cane that he hits him with also represents a penis, where then anal penetration between son and father is hinted." Uhhh? It was totally random and so off course from anything that was happening in the book. She goes to great lengths to mention something sexual each day. Her "attempts" are so far fetched and/or unncessary we are sitting there looking at her like retards. Katie and I were saying next class we should ask something of the likes of, "So, since Gregor is kind of long and hard and also has a head, is he a penis? And does the couch he lies under represent female genitalia? Is he having relations with the couch?!" She also has horrible anger management problems and exerts signs of an abuser. This woman should not be teaching.

In other news, we got our Christmas tree today! :) I already know what one of my "surprises" is. I walked in on my mom wrapping it haha. Nice mom, nice. But it will be a surprise for you, ha!

Plugs: Ryan & April (Oh and Ryan, the story of the Ladies Club is for another day).
Nice eye goodies: 1 2

New layout featuring the handsome Jude Law. Comments are gladly accepted. If the face scares you just scroll down, you ninnie! I was invited to see "Closer" with the Ladies Club (don't ask) tonight, but declined.

My room is clean and smells quite nice. Candles are a gift from the heavens. Looking at my leaning Tower of Pisa CD collection reminds me not only that I need to get a new CD rack, but I need to figure out how to take a song from a DVD and transfer it into iTunes, all while maintaining the quality. Take for example, Hanson's "Rip It Up" on "Underneath Acoutic Live". That is JUST an example and would nevvvverrr pirate Hanson music *cough, gag, choke*. Erm. Sooo if you have any knowledge in this area, it would be greatly appreciated.

The Nation Geographic Channel aired a program tonight on the Egyptian Pyramids. They had discovered hundreds of bakeries outlining the pyramids and the narrator commented, "While it was obvious they were not a colony of bread worshipers..." Lmfao. *bows down to bread* "Oh bread, how art thou special. Oh so delicious and wonderful. No doubt the bread of life. *bows down again and commences a series of hmmm's*. Note to self: Start a bread worshiping colony as soon as possible.

I posted this yesterday but Blogger freaked out and it messed up my whole Archive:

Monday, November 29, 2004

Two exciting pieces of news. 1. Senior paper = Done. Over. Finished. Turned In. But the thing is, I don't feel overwhelmingly relieved about it. Partly because I know I didn't do my best on it and just BSed my way through it. I was so fed up with school and everything else that I didn't want to put in the full effort because it is just High School. Secondly, I taught myself how to "burn" photographs in Photography today without any help or instruction. It feels nice to know that I can do something without the aid of others. Stick it to the MAN. (Um okay?)

New layout soon. This one just ain't workin out! Graphics are done, HTML needs to be written--should be up in a few days.
@ 10:27 PM

Jude Law on Ellen today. Oh..my...GOD. The smile. The accent. The personality. The style. I almost died. I tried muting it for a few seconds but it didn't help and only created more torture. Gah, it was just fabulous. I'm such a teenybopper when it comes to certain men haha. Must..remember..to..breathe.

*cough* Anyway. What Not To Wear is doing a $50,000 epsiode in Paris. *cries*

It's going good on my project so far. I don't think I'll stress out too bad when it comes down to the wire haha. You should see my room though. A tornado of books and paper hit about noon on Thursday and the destruction has yet to be ceased!

New layout! I know the scrolling area is small...but deal, okay (and let me know what you think while you're at it).

Oh how joyous it is that this week is only three days long. Yay for Thanksgiving...fooOOOdd. Then the big senior paper is due that Monday. But I'm trucking along at a good pace and I think I might do okay (?). I just hope I don't get slammed for doing something terribly wrong. They don't give us very much direction or they don't give us the needed helped when we ask. I'm also getting very fed up with my Lit teacher. I hate her. Not only is she racist, but she has no confidence in us as students and when we are wrong, she lets us know we are wrong. I could go on forevverrr. Numerous people have tried to get her fired in the past but it hasn't work. She said that, "If people haven't wanted to fire me, then I'm not doing my job." WTF? Isn't that the opposite of what you're stupposed to think? Some people in this work should be smacked.

Edit // I love hats--fashionable hats. They are so freaking fun to try on. I've found so many that I want to get but wouldn't know where to where them. I used to think hats looked really bad on me, but they actually don't. SO I'M LIKE SO EXTACTIC. LIKE OMG *giggle* (erhh??). Ew, my burp tasted like gold fish crackers, parmesan to be exact...

I've been 17 for four months now, but just bought my first R-rated movie ticket last Saturday. Seen R movies, but not in threatres. They asked for my ID but my permit (haha shut up) was conveniently at home. Katie, Christina, her boyfriend and his friend that wanted to meet Katie, and I saw "Saw". Umm yeah. Remind me again why I spent $5.50 on it. At first, I was scared shitless, especially at that freaky old-time fun house mask because I LOATH those thing and they creep me out beyond belief. It was really sick and twisted. I seriously worry about the screenwriter. But as the movie went on, I couldn't help but laugh. Afterwards, I walked into my dark garage and discovered the door into the house was locked and I didn't have a key. I freaked out, and started pounding on the door. haha I was thinking, "AHH THE MASK IS GOING TO ATTACK ME!!!"

The OSU open house on Saturday went well. That is where I'll most likely go. I mean they have a freaking Badminton Club for God's sake! lmfao I'm such a dork. Plus their gym is piiiiimp. Woot. Oh yeah, before the movie Katie made me watch some of the O.C. That show is just....pathetic haha. But I do admit that Adam Brody is hot. I also have to admit that I watched Oprah again for a few minutes the other day.

I luff you guys so much: Alex, Becca, Rain, Mez & Ryan

AAAHAHAHAAHA, Michael Phelps arrested for DUI, then apologizes. lmfao This is just too freaking funny. It would even better if he was arrested on "Michael Phelps Way". His coach was saying that that was not the real Michael, what you saw in Athens in the REAL Mike. Psh, whatever Bob....you remind me of Ashley Greyson. haha Ooh, BUURN.

Each time I see a new ad for a reality television premier, I think, "TV is getting worse everyday! It can't go down the drain even MORE. Because we are already at the sewage treatment plant." But it does get worse, folks....it does. With shows such as, "Nanny 911", "The Rebel Billionaire", "Wife Swap", "The Scholar" and the list continues into the night. I enjoy mindless entertainment, but damn. I at least want it to be amusing and half-way decent, not idiotic! And no, airing it in HDTV will not entice me to watch your stupid show. When will it be over God, when? *shakes hands towards sky and weeps*

I saw Natalie Portman on Oprah the other day promoting "Closer" (dude I was watching Oprah, wtf?). She is just so cute! If I had to trade places with a 'famous' person for a day, it'd be her. I can't wait for "Closer"...partly because of Jude Law.

For future reference, when copying and pasting words from Babel Fish, make sure to change the font to the font you are using no matter HOW similar they look, because if you don't the teacher will know. NOT like I'm speaking from experience or anything. Heh. It was only a couple of phrases, okay!?!?