One crazy drunken night after another. Do you always find random bruises on your body after one of these nights? Because I always do!

WHY do I always mess shit up for myself? I finally cried and it felt good. It made me realize how much I really do like him and how much I probably just fucked it up (again). It is not because he was "my first," I've had these feelings for a long time, crazy intense ones. Could it be love? I always thought that if you were in love you wouldn't have to ask--you'd know. We both agreed that it wouldn't work out but now that is all I can think about. Just to hold each other, feeling the embrace and the beauty of what we have, fulfilling my dream of cuddling by the fire in a mountainous cabin. That sounds wonderfully amazing. Geez, I've never had so much emotional turmoil over one guy before.

Ooh I wish I had an answer, a sign from the mother earthly heavens haha. I trust that everything will go work out and that he feels just as much as me.

I just found a piece of pure red hair on my head.

I could kill for a huge delicious sandwich right now!!

Love: Alex

Edit // We talked...again. And we are going out on a date next week. Wow? YES. I'm really, really excited. :) Hopefully this will turn into a something very very good. The way the we look at one another, the way we communicate, flirt and touch. I can feel it. It has to mean something, right?

I got my ears pierced, WHEEE. They look so cute with little pink sparkly studs. It gave me such a high, I'm really hyper and in a particularly good mood with this adrenaline rush. I wanted to get something else done but didn't know what.

I feel like highlighting my hair with a lot of blonde. I'm in such a mood for change, maybe because of other recent changes *cough*. I'm glad that if fate had me lose my virginity that night it was with a guy I trusted and felt comfortable with. It happened at the wrong time and wrong place. I used to be into him but was just getting over it at the time. We are on really good terms though and definitely agreed to continue being friends. I will always remember him, and in a positive note.

Commenters: Laura, Alex, Stephanie

Oh guys I kind of messed up. At least he is a good guy...

More later, I am mentally (and physically) exhausted.

Oh my gosh, I feel so free and liberated. I am suddenly over him!! After months of brooding, confusion, lust and (one) cry...it is complete and I have moved onto the friends stage. Woot. Come and get me boys, Ashley is out to play haha :) I'm a nerd.

One of the many guys I danced with tonight had like ROCK solid thighs. Mmmmm yes (Although I am still a sucker for the tall and lean). Tonight was fun. J'adore dancer avec les garcons et avec moi et mon tres stupide moves de dance. Hooray for franglais.

I'm in such a funny random mood, Ow OOWWWWW! I'm getting my nipples pierced tomorrow. Ahaha Not really just the ears.

PS: Keep voting on the layouts! ...And I love each and everyone of your silly little booties (I swear I only had a shot. I didn't even get a buzz so don't start with me bitches. I am totally getting my second wind and a blog is not the right place to let it out. Ugh, where is my blow up Jude Law doll when I need it? gahaha.)

LAYOUT CONTESSTTT!!!! It is a little different this time since you will already know the general look and feel of the new layout from viewing at the images below. So upon your best judgement, please choose one of the following:

a)


- OR -

b)


- OR -

c)
I don't like any of them...Ashley, you really need to work on your "skills".

EDIT // The point of a layout contest is to actually vote. Exercise your voice!

People with amazing skill and talent, are they innately born and attracted to this activity? Or is something discovered and learned? How do you know you aren't missing out on being one of the best "so and so's" in the world? Why are people drawn to certain things and are particularly good at them while others are disinterested and untalented? This is something I'd like to get to the core of, to understand and find out...even though it is impossible to know such things.

Hmmm.

I can't figure out which layout to put up. I have three different takes on one main graphic and all of them are intriguing.

Plugs: Dmitri, RJA, Stephanie

The Photo Gallery is up! Thoughts, feedback, critiques, rants, raves, and praises are encouraged...even haikus if you are feeling the creative urge. New layout soon before I go back to school where my FTP goes screwy.

Tell me your hopes, dreams, fears or any random thoughts for the new year. We always say it is new, but really...what is new about it?

Before it is too late...Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, etc. Be safe, happy and healthy for 2006. :)

I miss being a kid at Christmas. I miss "Santa's" annual visits and how my mom always filled the bottom of my stocking with oranges and apples. I miss the giddy feeling that only children have and the nostalgia of it all. Christmas was always filled with cheer, innocence and beauty (and sleeping in). Now it is just like "Eeh." Traditions are being broken and the spirit is not in the air. We didn't even get a god damn tree this year! Now that is screwed up.

I discovered working retail really isn't my "thing". Nine hours on my feet while being just about as bored as a blind person watching a silent film? No thank you. Bussing pizza is better than this.

Also, OSU Business advisors can suck iiiiiit. And they better be ready because it is huge and puts up a mean battle.

Thank you.

Plugs: Dmitri, Stephanie

1. I kissed a hot guy.
2. I miss my college friends.
3. I'm listening to Underneath (wtf is wrong w/me?)
4. I'm in a very good mood...and have been for many months on end. This is the longest stretch where happiness has outweighed the sadness.
5. I desperately need to brush my teeth.
6. I like sandwiches a lot.
7. I say "I" too much but don't know how to get around not saying it.
8. I feel have an awkward feeling that I will fall in love soon, in a very unexpected way, place, and time.
9. The holiday season stresses me out--gift giving is a pain but opening presents is one of the many joys in life.
10. I really need to go to a good concert.
11. I feel like painting and making a photo album of black and whites.
12. I really wish I could fly.
13. One of my biggest fears is letting people down or have them think badly about me...and E.T. (the alien, not the show).
14. I love being artsy.
15. I want to make a snowman and a snowangel.
16. And finally, if you've been able to sort through this mess of randomness, the photo gallery is really coming soon. I promise.

When I said I wanted to work this winter break, I meant a few hours here and there. Not freaking 8-9 hours per day almost all week! My gosh, when will I have time to do nothing? haha At least my pay check will be nice and healthy. Plus I sell jewlery so that is kind of fun :) Ahh the life a chain retail empolyee...

Um yeah and my legs are sore. That is quite sad.

Plugs: Will, Alex, Stephanie

This post is dedicated to all who have exams (particularly Stephanie). I am here to assist you in your many hours of procrastination, avoidance and dread.

I bought a new pair of jeans about an hour ago. Pure loooove and joy. Good thing I don't have a credit card because it would be maxed out on denim. Some of my weaknesses: cute socks and underwear, jeans, sexy high heels, the colors turquoise and raspberry-ish.

I made a free Christmas card yesterday (at the UO bookstore--someone slap me, I am such a trader). It felt so nice to be creative. It reminded me how much I miss it and how much I need it. Maybe instead of my ballroom class I will take an art course of some sort.

Mmm peanut butter is so good. If only we had some oreos.

By the time school resumes in January, I am going to have abs of fucking steel. They used to be sexy. Then laziness set in.

Edit // Dear God I'm starting to like (some) country music. Please smack me in the face really, really hard. Then repeat 5 times or as many as necessary. (Damnit, Sarah..look what you have done to me!)

So I might as well shoot myself now...or cry really hard for days on end. Fuck. Fuck, this just fucking sucks. Why do I always screw myself over when someone good comes along? The only great guy that comes onto me, I fucking reject him and by the time I realize how amazing he is and how much I like him, he gets with one of my friends. I..ugh AHHHJH'. God damnit this hurts really, really bad.

My roommie is playing our "angry" music for me. haha She is great.

My lovlies: Alex & Stephanie

Edit / I just discovered that "Just Friends" by Gavin DeGraw is not a good song to listen to.

Southern Comfort isn't so comforting when you are hugging the toliet (but it tastes damn good going down). I've never been that shitfaced before and I don't want to again. Afer my puking escapade we came back here and kicked it with some friends til 6am. I was feeling fine, thinking "Heck yes, I'm not even going to have a hangover." When I woke up this morning I barfed again...and again. Everyone did say that despite all the shit that was going down, I still had a smile on my drunken face. And that my friends, is true Ashley style haha. My friends are amazing though and they showed how much they really care. How do you pay somebody back for that? Being just as supportive and caring in return? But it doesn't seem like enough.

Anyway, I think my drinking days are over for a while.

AHH I NEED TO CONFESS MY LOVE TO HIM BECAUSE IT IS KILLING ME INSIDE.

I had my chance but blew it. Hopefully I will get another.

// end outburst

I smell like fried/burnt food. Eww :\ I was going to upload my photo gallery (as suggested by Dmitri) but my FTP doesn't work here. Freaking A. Also, I've become a compulsive napper.

I have a feeling something wonderful is going to come about soon...then something horrible. There is nothing dead about dead week. I really need to find a job for winter break or else I will be bored shitless. This afternoon all the of washers and dryers were empty. It was the first time I didn't have to fight for a dryer. There is a certain male I can't get out of my head. I am forcing myself to blog, it is obvious?

A list of smiple yet amazing things:
-naps on rainy afternoons
-warm, fuzzy scarves (not a la Taylor Hanson..aww, Hanson..I forgot about you boys)
-laundry fresh out of the dryer
-hugs
-people who truly care for you
-black and white photography
-exotic flowers
-realizing what you want
-realizing what is important
-confidence
-a nice juicy piece of fruit (not to be taken sexually)

^^Feel free to add...

I've never had this hot of a guy go after me before. And he is actually making the effort to call, make plans, etc. Tall, strong, and sexy. Wouldn't it be amazing if it worked out? I would probably crap myself out of pure joy.

Also, I suuuck at cards. Like even worse than I do at pool...and that is pretty damn bad.

I attended my first screamo concert the other night. Music was good, singing was good, screaming was bad.

I feel like fucking dancing.

Plugs: RJA, Dmitri, Alex

Wow. I broaded my religious horizons tonight. It gave me some...interesting insight. Definitely not many that I agreed with, but interesting none the less. I already have light in my life without religious direction, thank you. And I am not sinning nor am I lost in a life of darkness and bad behavior becauase I do not follow the word of God. The band was good though.

I wish there was a person who could give me daily big, warm and fuzzy bear hugs.

Plugs: Dmitri, Alex, Stephanie

I have the sudden urge to march in a protest. People here don't protest. Where are you my liberal leaning counterparts? I feel so politically and creatively deprived here...must join some clubs to fill that void.

Plain and simple, I have become addicted to Nature Valley granola bars, online shopping, and visions of romance.

Speaking of romance, I had a vision of my love life today. I will date a few semi-preppy yet down to earth guys but end up marrying a ruggedly handsome outdoorsy-type. We'd live in the mountains, maybe own a few pigs (I've always wanted a pig) and a freaking awesome big, cuddly dog. We'd have a grand fire place and sit around drinking beer, naked and wrapped up in blankets enjoying eachother's company in the beautiful firelight. Talking sweet nothings with the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking in the background and snow gracefully dancing around our cozy home.

Plugs: Dmitri, Alex, Laura, Stephanie, and RJA (because he knows why)

Sooo, last night. Aaahaha. They always say it is a bad idea to start something with people in your dorm. If I would have reciprocated his affection, we would have had sex. Like woah, I'm not ready to be deflowered yet. Guys are so weird. Hmm so yeah, I will keep you guys posted on this situation.

Edit @ 11:26 pm // This is very odd. I don't know how to deal with this because I am so innocent when it comes to anything sexual. I feel pathetic saying it, almost prude. But I am not going to give myself away to some random guy. No good ever comes out of that. I am not going to let somebody use me. I deserve to be treated well and so does everyone else.

What an invigorating mid-morning; a nice workout with 15 minutes on the bike, 15 minutes on the eliptical, and a short run home in the rain. With my head down and hood on, halfway back I had a revelation and realized what a beautiful thing running in the rain is. I shed my hood and turn my face upward, soaking up all of it's glory. Oh, and my "Kickin' Workout Beats" playlist? ...It fucking rocks.

Plugs: Stephanie, Dmitri, Alex, Laura

ahaha I love OSU on the weekends. Last night I got wasted and had a really, really good time. Probably the best since I've been here. I hit on like..every hot guy in sight, laughed continuously for hours, danced my ass off, got invited to come back to bed with a boy (who was surprisingly sober yet very horny), and ate a cookie..or two. There is more substance behind these stories but maybe that will be for a later time. I have massive homework and plus I can't find my shoes. And also, my best friend is really the best.

Major commenters props: Laura, Nile, Dmitri, Alex

Got my freak on last night. Woot w00t. What dancing fools we were. I attract the weirdest guys haha. My butt is a little sore.

My best friend might be transferring to another school next term. This makes me really sad. I don't know what I'm going to do without her. :(

A photo gallery is coming soon! So be prepared.

Edit // I might like a new boy.

Here, I discovered that am either really happy or really sad. Lonely/jealous or loved/content. There is generally no middle ground. And the jealousy issue is a killer sometimes.

Plugs: Alex, RJA, Dmitri, Stephanie

My roommate used my speakers over the weekend while I was gone. They are switched in different places. You do NOT use my speakers without asking. The end.

I made a mistake on Friday that I think made him hate me (even more haha). I don't want to babble forever, so I will leave it at that. The fall out I predicted a few weeks ago has happened. We've basically stopped talking. It might be for the better because I think I liked the idea of him more than him. But fuck, I'm tired of being lonely.

Written at home while I was internet-less:

October 14, 2005 @ 7:14 PM

It's weird being home. Everything is so quiet. I haven't witnessed this much quiet in an extended period of time for weeks. I miss my dorm more now than I have missed home. Shouldn't it be the other way? It has also made me realize how disconnected I am with the world outside off OSU. I haven't read the paper in ages.

It's nice to stink up my own bathroom for once.

Plugs: Alex, RJA, Dmitri

Monster Cookies are divine. The ones they have here are so easily accessible and delicious. They are to blame when I get fat. It's not if, it's when. There are many bad temptations here. And bad music (my god people, get some taste!).

I do miss that comfort of deeply liking somebody. I've been trying to suppress any feelings that I have for him. Is that stupid? I still don't know what to do/think.

I have a longing urge to go shopping.

Plugs // RJA, Laura, Dmitri

Okay so I'm pretty much sad, depressed and confused right now. I feel a good cry coming on. I don't know how to handle all these emotions and thoughts.

More on this later, for I am hella tired and my bed is calling...

(cont. on Oct 7 @ 12:37 pm)

He came up and visited yesterday. It was going good until a certain point at conversation during diner. It made me realize how immature he is (despite his age) and what is motives are. I've done a lot of thinking and talking with people who I trust look up to. I can do better. I will always consider him a friend but I don't envision anything happening between us unless there is something much more deeper under his skin.

The Lovelies: RJA, Rain, Mez, Dmitri, Stephanie, Alex

College is fuunnn. Boys are fun. College boys are fun.

Shit. Sometimes you wonder if things are meant to be and why things go certain ways. Maybe all of them are signs. He tried to come up today but with my school schedule it wouldn't work. We agreed on the "next week" thing...but it is now or never. It's like when someone says, "I'll call you later, we'll hang out!" and you know it's not going to happen. They just say it because there is nothing else to say. I am determined not to let that happen.

I see many of potentials per day, so why do I keeping hanging on to him?

Room still smells like shit despite my air freshening attempts, although it is a little homier as we add to our decoration repertoire.

Plugs: Dmitri Von Klien, RJA, Alex, Janet

Underage drinking in the dorm is dumb. Blatantly drinking during the football game is dumb. Going out to a house party, fine. But why would you risk getting kicked out and fined just to get a buzz before you go out? People are stupid and I'm not going to participate in that. Sometimes my responsibility and fear of consequences takes the better of me and hinders me from having fun. I plan to go out but not be an idiot.

I need him to visit to see if my feelings have changed and/or if they are true (haha I'm so needy). Either way, he has changed my life. (My Dove chocolate fortune said to 'Send a love letter this week' *raises eyebrows*).

In the past couple of days I've done more walking and tripping then I ever have. I seriously trip at least 2-3 times a day. haha It's great comedic relief.

Mad crazy party last night. /Kidding/. When we got there, the keg was dry. We walked around for an hour trying to find something else. I have blisters on all four sides of my feet to prove. The end.

I have a sinking feeling that me and him are going to have a fall out if we don't see one another soon.

My roommie got us a rug but it smells like shit and I don't know how to tell her.

Plugs / RJA, Stephanie, Dmitri

Is there a good way to hide the ugliness of 5 million cords? My desk is engulfed in hordes of them. My freaking cool mouse pad doesn't work with my mouse, the drag is horrible. How disappointing. I desperately need more decorations. This place is so sterile looking.

He called me. <33 He never fades from my mind. I'll see something/someone that reminds me of him and my mind goes off into a distant land. It's kind of comforting in a way.

Ahhh college life. I've met a lot of nice, new people. We're attempting to get our room all settled and cozy. My roommate seems pretty cool so far. Our hall is a bit quite. Everyone looks so young.

I chickened out last night. I couldn't get myself to tell him how I really feel. We had a good night though. His hugs are great. Today he texted me a couple of times, once asking if boys were allowed in my dorm and again saying that he would have to come up and visit. Wheee. I love being in his company and I miss it horribly. I miss the way he makes me laugh. I miss the way he makes me smile. I miss the way he makes me feel.

Tuesday is the big day. Dorm life will be a different experience, I hope I adjust alright. I'm going to fucking miss his ass. I don't think I'll ever meet a person like him again.

Tomorrow I'm either making a move or telling him the way I feel. I honestly have no idea how we are going to end up. It would be so much easier if he confessed his love (if he has any) but life/love isn't that way. /Aw, he just texted me./

I'm trying to keep it cool but secretly I'm stressing. This whole packing business can be overwhelming. I know I'm going to forget something important.

Dmitri: No doubt I will. :)

This could go two ways--an incredible relationship or a beautiful friendship. Obviously the former is preferred but either way would be satisfying. He is an amazing person that I never want to lose contact with. We'll see what happens in these days to come...

He. Is. So. Cute. Wheee.

The end.

Plugs: Dmitri, RJA

I can't stop thinking about him. It's gotten to the point where it's horribly annoying. Before it was comforting but now it needs to stop. Is it supposed to be like this? Is this normal? I think I really will insane if this continues. Hell, I don't even know if he likes me back. If he doesn't it will surely break my heart.

I've never had my heart broken. I don't know if I could emotionally handle rejection at that level. Yes, I've had my feelings hurt with the dreaded situation of "my crush ended up asking my friend out". But daaang. This is a lot of poo.

I need a hug.

Plugs: RJA, Mez, Dmitri

So I wrote a really sweet entry late last night and then my browser quit (okay, actually it was quite lame but that is unimportant). Shit, I really wish I wasn't leaving now...and it's all because of a boy. A new one, a better one, a beautiful one that makes me smile and laugh and feel all giddy like a little girl. Last night was much fun. I can't recall the last time I felt that happy. Why did he have to come into my life at such an inconvenient time? I could go on forever about him but alas, I don't want to bore you.

Woah, my hair is short. I'm still getting used to seeing myself with shoulder length hair and side bangs.

Things are winding down, work is coming to an end, high school is finally left behind. It is all so sad yet refreshing at the same time. There are things, people, and memories that I will hold closely to my heart and never forget. To me, that is beautiful.

<3: Laura, Stephanie, RJA, Dmitri

No more am I going to let you hold me down. For I am in control of me. I am free on my own behalf. Your fears will not become mine. Your protection has hindered my growth. Now I am reborn, creating my life the way I want it.

In the words of Eric Cartman...

Utter madness. Sheer chaos. Is this world.

A person doesn't realize how attached they are to their surroundings until hits them with the fact that they are leaving. As much as I don't like Eugene, I love it. I love it's little quirky attributes, the odd beauty you can find walking down the streets, the hippies (the hippies!!), but most of all I'm used to it. This is what I know. I don't know much else. From this point on, I'm going to be creating a new "Eugene" for myself. This intrigues me but scares me at the same time.

I hope that next year I can post here with many a great stories...and bad ones too. I want to fuck up, make mistakes, and grow. I want to have fun and enjoy my youth in all it's youthful glory..or something to that sort. I don't want to become another drab individual always looking for something better. Most of all, I want to find myself and feel completed for the first time in my life. I know this will not happen in a mere 4 years but over a lifetime.

I feel much more clear-headed after writing that (did I just have a mini-revelation?). Oh the joys of blogging.

Plugs: Laura

EDIT // I got some kickin' speakers for my dorm room today. Plus a printer AND the perfect academic planner. YES.

Somedays I think I like him and others I don't. Isn't it weird how interaction between two people, depending on the intensity, can make or break an attraction? There is also another boy man. *giggle* Oh he is super. Super sweet, super funny, super cute with a super smile. Supa, supa, dat's supa (haha how fun it is to quote old hanson videos). He is one of those guys you can tell is a genuinely good guy that would be worth pursuing. If only I wasn't leaving in a couple of weeks, then me and him would be togetha. Oh fho sho!

I finally jumped into the new and improved technology pool and got a camera flip phone. It is tres fun.

Random, funny quote of the day: "Last week North Korea publicly admitted for the first time it has nuclear weapons. The Bush administration has so far shown very little concern, as the North Korean missiles are believed only capable of reaching the Blue States." --Jon Stewart

Props to the Canadian, Blink fanatic, and X-Filer...love you guys. :)

New stiggin' friggin' layout (featuring Mischa Barton)! Let me know your thoughts, for they are always appreciated. In the past six months my graphic design activity has dropped significantly, so this layout sprouted from a creative burst of design energy.

I'm making it a habit to do my lame pilates/yoga video every day since I terminated my gym membership due to work schedule conflicts (sometimes they make me open the restaurant at 10 am, ew). I don't know if it is working but it's quite relaxing on the muscles.

I might go make brownies.

I also might like a boy. I haven't decided yet/haven't accepted the fact that there might be a possible crush. Just something childish out of a lack of boredom.

Plug: x

I think I've learned this summer to cherish what I have, because nothing ever stays the same.

Today I was contemplating space time. I thought, "There are no time zones in space, so how can they tell what time it is?" Then it occurred to me that time in space doesn't even matter. Maybe time in years, centuries, and millenniums, but certainly not in minutes.

The only thing keeping me from closing this site is the past. I have a hard time getting rid of things I've kept so close to my heart for so long.

Occasionally at work I have the strongest urges to butt in on people's conversations. Eves dropping is quite entertaining and I can't suppress the need to put my five cents in.

I'm finding all these people from my old elementary school in Washington on thefacebook and is it weeeeird, man. Really weird. It's odd to think of those people as grown up because in my mind they are all little 5th graders.

This blog is going downhill. Hopefully it will make a turn for the better and win the tour de blog when college starts in the fall. I have no idea what I'm talking about at this point so I dearly excuse any random, unexplainable words that come out of my mouth. No hands, actually. My hands get dry from work, so sometimes I use lotion. The non-greasy kind (of course).

Question of the day: What would your catch phrase be if you were a playa (assuming you aren't one)?

The past, present and future changes of this year feel like they almost belong to someone else. Graduation, working, legalization, college seem so "adult", yet I feel so immature and inexperienced. I've accepted these changes but my problem is that I haven't embraced them.

OSU Registration, with the intent to make us feel like all-grown up collegiates, only made me feel younger. High school still lingered in the auras of the attendees. Fresh minds and eager spirits. It reminded me of the term "eager beaver" which is kind of ironic considering we are the Oregon State Beavers (haha hot damn, I'm full of puns). By the way, I'm taking badminton Fall term lmfao. It can't get any cooler than that.

My feet smell horrible! It must be the thin socks creating some sort of smelly sweat complex.

I painted today and it reminded me how much I love arting (why isn't that a word?).

Wonderful, lovely, amazing commenters: Mez, RJA, Sez

Shit. Almost two months. The dry spell will be cleared up very soon. Until then, think of how I can celebrate my 18th birthday on the 27th of this very special month of July.

It seems like a blogging dry spell has fallen upon me these past few days. I am very sorry to my three loyal visitors. So from the depths of my cozy bed, I introduce to you the latest entry:

Most of the people at work are very friendly and nice. There is one girl who is super cool and slightly reminds me of Daria. She has been nice from day one but not in a fake, over-exaggerated way. My hands are dry and have started to peel in some areas from touching water all day. The life of a busser is truly glamorous. I also need to start learning everyones names, especially my managers. I'm so bad with names (doesn't everyone say that?).

Since reading about the "all who is inside of a car looks like they are riding in a funeral procession" part in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, I've realized how true that is for others and myself. I feel confined in a car, trapped behind glass. Maybe that is why I'm not too fond of driving. I need something more free and open. Instead of buying a car a few years down the road, I might just get an electric bike. If I wasn't so chicken I'd consider a motorcycle. But I'm not that hardcore yet.

Lately I've been going through this miniscule "save the earth" phase. I've been recycling eeevverything at home, and while at work, feeling guilty about throwing a recyclable in the trash. As well as thinking if I had to get a car it would be a hybrid or an even eltectric (if they didn't make them so ugly. Why can't they make "healthy" car good looking?) There is also some good news--if you visited the "saveourvalley" link I posted a few entries back, you'll be glad to know that there will NOT be a power plant going in. The proposal was scrapped after the company classified it as an "unsuitable area with much opposition".

I beat my high score on Pac Man today.

PLUGS: Alex & RJA

I registered to vote yesterday. It was a proud moment in my life. :)

I'm having second thoughts about this dorm thing. Considering I hate public restroom/communal bathrooms, it will be an interesting challenge. See, I need privacy on the throne. I need to sit my little butt down, get relaxed and comfortable to make the best of my bathroom experience. And how could I do that knowing that 5 million other asses have been on that toilet. I'm fine with my own poop germs, but other peoples'?...forget it!

After months of a dry spell in the unemployed but looking life, I have hit some gold. Over the past few days I've had two interviews and two others that I had to shoot down because I landed a job. Wooh! I'll be busing at a local pizza joint. haha And wearing a sweet uniform too.

Plugs: Michelle, Alex, Johnny Crash (aksjdfhaksdhf I love the Bleu Jeans idea. Simply perfect.)

Watch out world, I am armed and so very, very dangerous. I now have an Oregon Foodhandler Card. Beware, because I can legally cook your food. And please, stay out of the danger zone (aka 41-140 degrees).

I think I found my destiny on the working environment, or perhaps a short-lived destiny in retail; owning a jeans store. I don't know why I never thought of this before, but while watching "A Makeover Story" on TLC (shut up, it's my lunch time ritual) it suddenly hit me, and was like, "Omfg this is the coolest idea ever." So I need to think of some good names. Not anything corny like Bean's Jeans, or trendy like Da Sweetest Jeans in Da Hood (because frankly a business would fail miserably no matter what is sold with a name like that). Something hip yet classic is the cure.

Da sweetest commenters in da hood: Johnny Crash, RJA, Michelle, May...you guys are keepers. :)

Last night I had a dream that I wrote the coolest blog entry ever. But to my dismay it never materialized into the conscience world. And I can't quite remember what it was about. For some reason elephants are coming to mind.

No one visits this side anymore. It's sad.

I missed the Elvis movie w/Jonathan Reese Myers. His lips are amazing. I want to be his Valentine (and take that whichever way you want to, ha).

Have you ever wanted something sugary (or any food for that matter) so bad but when you finally eat it, it is just run of the mill and doesn't live up to your sugary dreamy thoughts? BUT THEN you keep doing that and each time you are let down, again and again but you STILL crave it even with knowing the end results. Shit's weird like that.

Helloooo friends. I got my hair cut today. She curled in loose curls so it's all fun and bouncy. And it smells really nice. I contemplated buying the products because lately my hair and been dry and damaged but I didn't want to be set back 2398472984729374 dollars. So I bought a white skirt at Old Navy instead. That justification doesn't work but whatev.

This weekend I'm going to attempt to make a home-made frappuccino. Those things are the shit. (God...it's only Monday..NOO).

So I got to thinking earlier this afternoon, when I'm employed I'm going to blow my first paycheck on over-priced but good quality hair products and make up. It's nice to pamper yourself once in a while.

I have designed a new layout but am not sure if I could put it up quite yet. What are your thoughts? Yes? No?


lmfao That is a classic. This guy's good.

I need someone to show me how to love.

My hot, tall love interest at Trade Joe's has a girlfriend. :( I heard the news today when he was talking about her to the customer in front of us. So I was all depressed and melancholy when he asked us how we were. But then he looked and me and was like, "How are YOU? I just want to see you smile!" I immediately feel out of my depression and was like, "I LOVE YOU. LET'S GO TO THE FROZEN FOOD DEPARTMENT AND MAKE OUT."

My jeans and necklace from Guess came in the mail today. They are perfecto (glam shots appearing soon hah). I bought some Acrylic paint supplies today to continue my "hands-on" art approach. I figured it's better to spend time doing something creative than wasting time watching TV or surfing the net.

Listening to Soft Cell's "Tainted Love" makes me want to dress in 80's retro digs with polka-dots, oversized white glasses, and accents of hot pink and neon green.

Taylor Hanson needs to stop procreating for the good of this world. I wouldn't be surprised if this one came out of his uterus this time around haha.

This makes me drool everytime I see it.

Attention: Affiliates Wanted Inquire here.

www.saveourvalley.com

Mt. Bachelor was rad (gotta love the 80's lingo). It was by far the best snowboarding I've done..I've got mad skills, yo. The trails are much better than Willamette, PLUS I rode off the lift 5/6 times instead of falling. I felt so accomplished. Snow wasn't that bad either. Got 6 great runs in which is amazing considering I usually do 4, and adding to the fact that I'll be turning pro next year *cough*. Also, I want this board (154) and some new riding duds.

Senioritis is a killer. It's affecting all of my joints and is quickly spreading to the outer extremities. My motivation is completely wiped out. Which reminds me, I didn't even wipe out on the mountain. Okay...maybe a half-biff (but that doesn't count).

There's a spot on my neck that's dry.

Dear Ideal Roommate,
Please contact me ASAP because everyone else is unfit and/or are dimwits.
LOOOOOVEEE,
Ash

Dear Opportune Summer Job,
Please hire me so I cane get out of the house. I don’t smell (all the time) and have an amazing knack for blue jeans, dorky life philosophies and fruit smoothies.
Lots of hugs and kisses,
Ashley

"Zen And The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" is an intriguing book; one that needs to be read hundreds of times before you can appreciate the profound words. I think I shall buy it used and highlight it to my hearts content. *whips out bright pink highlighter* Ahaha I really need to get out more.

FYI, the new "recover post" feature on Blogger is a BLOG SAVER. Oy vay!

And RJA, all this time I thought a powerstash was some fancy electronic...

New layout, I glamed it up a little. Word. Now it will only be a matter of mintues before I grow tired of this. So sick and so very, very tired.

Starting next week and continuing for the rest of the school year I'll be getting out at 10:20. Yes, that's in the morning. I have no idea what the frick to do with my extra time. The job market doesn't seem to want me and homework is virtually non-existant.

...facial itching, doh! The Cortizone for the allergic reaction rash instructs me to "not put directly in rectum by using fingers or any mechanical device." Damnit! I shouldn't have used those forceps.

My make up was professionally done for senior pictures yesterday, and this morning I woke with little bumps all over my face. Stupid scented foundation *grumbles*. My skin is uber sensitive (HA uber..). I have the greatest luck ever haha.

I need to find a roomie for next year. The girl who I was going to room with bailed out and is going to another school. The other girls I've been talking to are nice but aren't the best match. I don't want to get screwed over with a crappy dorm and a crappy roommate.

I feel like going to Greece right now. Anyone up for an adventure?

I feel utterly and completely disgusting. My skin is not cooperating..the new pimples meds were "supposed" to help, but are really fighting it. Granted I don't have the worst acne case in the world (one word of advice: don't type in 'acne' on Google pictures. SICK), but still. My hair is lifeless. I need a new, fresh cut. You can't have the same haircut for 4 god damn years and NOT get bored of it!

[end complaining because that seems like it's all I ever do]

Randomly found my prom dress online while looking at a friend's. It's more burgundy in real life but it would be hot if it were more raspberry like in that picture.

Oh, THESE ARE THE MOST DISGUSTING SHOES ON EARTH. Why the frick do people of all ages insist in wearing them? They are even uglier on the foot for god's sakes. And parents are subjugating their poor babies who can't even speak for themselves to wear these sick excuses for shoes. This is a sad, sad time we live in.

Feeling: exanimate

Hey hey heey! That was supposed to sound like Fat Albert, by the way. I'm back from Hawaii, slightly tan, and depressed that I have to go back to normal life in the cold. The North Shore of Oahu is amazing. The perfect amount of tropical beauty, surfers and tourists, being it one of the best places to surf in the world. Hale'iwa is that quint beach town that is relaxing and amusing at the same time. They even have random wild chickens walking about. I hope that place stays the same forever. Some things should never change. Oh, I also hanged ten a couple of time. But on a foam surf board tehehe. Surfing is way fun.

I like flying over cities at night, the lights are so entertaining...I'm kind of like a crow that sees something shiny.

Blaaaghhh. You know that feeling when you've eaten too much of a bad thing? It's not pleasant. Too many chicken strips and jo-jo's are never a good thing. Quite delicious at the beginning but 10 mintues later one finds oneself in an unhappy situation for the next hour.

My senior pictures are on April Fool's Day. I am confident this guy will do better than the last. I want to get a cute dress but after the shoot it would hang lifelessly in my closet because sadly, I have no one to wear it for (except on those late nights with Tha Graw aka Gavin DeDraw).

Have a fabulous week! Fun the sun here I come.

Please, send your good weather omens my way so it will follow me to Hawaii. It's currently raining there :\ Hopefully a sunny front will appear by the time this weekend rolls around. It is sad that I'm already packed? I started last week haha. Okay, yeah...that is sad.

Anyone have any ideas to revive Art Club? As "co-prez" I really should know these things...

Hm, I already feel an urge to put up a new layout.

Zac Hanson is engaged. Yes friends, he is officially off the market. So now I will be targeting Mackenzie. Buwhahaha. Sick.

Hello there, strangers. It's been a while hasn't it? A few things have changed since we last talked:
-Got accepted into OSU and am currently corresponding with a few roommates
-Currently submitting scholarships and searching for a job
-Saw Matt Nathanson in concert (amazing) and met him
-Attended The One Tree Hill Tour in Ptwon, met Tyler Hilton and Gavin DeGraw, witnessed a life-chaing performance by Gavin (my love)
-Purchased my first real DVD, Garden State and fell in love with Zach Braff
-Used a free 1 month gym membership
-Tanned a total of 4 times in prep for Hawaii
-Ate Thin Mints

Whew. Semi-short list, but good times. Hope you like the new layout. I saw that John Mayer picture and knew it was destined for a layout. The texture is by somebody who I forget, so credit goes to that unknown talent. Updates to 1st celeb crush, Bootylicious Boys, About Me, LJ Icons, Fashion Sense, My Music, Quotes. Sorry for the downtime. I expected to be back sooner but L-E was having server problems and eventually decided to close. But Unpredictable is back and under the wing of Rain at Eidas.org!

I've recently been inspired by a few people, Matt Nathanson and Gavin DeGraw. Truly incredibly musicans and people. Gavin, my husband, knows how to rock. I haven't felt music like that ever. You could actually feel the rush of energy and emotion surge through your body. It was difficult going back to life after seeing them live. The hard hit of reality hurt (even though I am still slightly high on Gavin and must write my review asap).

Sometime you need a few drinks to fall in love...

Today I realized that I don't know how to have fun. I mean, I know how to have fun, but not real, genuine fun. I can when I'm around others who know how to but I've never really learned how to have an accessive amount of good time. I don't think its no so much learning as it is just being around it. So actually, I've never been around real fun throughout the entire span of my life. It seems weird to think about this, but that's what I want my life to be. Sometimes I take shit too seriously. It would be nice to be goofier, but not to the point of immaturity. Once I step back at look at the situation I see that whenever I'm around people who are naturally reserved I tend to get bored and metamorphesize into that quiet way of life. But when I'm around the constant unpredictableness and humor of a funny person, I change into that. Mentally and emotionally it feels so much better and clearer to laugh and play around a little. Hopefully in the continuing years of my life I will meet more people who improve me instead of deteriorate me (and my spirit).

Even though the site is on hiatus and no one can see this right now, I felt I needed to get the following out anyhow.

My friend, who is now deeply religious, is refusing to read an assigned book because the group who controls and brainwashes these fictional people is not God. Now I understand that because if you don't want to read something because it is against your beliefs, by god then don't. And its awesome she is standing up for what she thinks, but for one, it is a book and it is not going to harm you be to cultured. If I were assigned a devoutly religious text, as much as I wouldn't want to read it, I would anyway to learn something new and understand the beliefs of others (Then again, I'm a book whore). I wanted to tell her but refrained because I'm not one to start face to face skirmishes.

We're starting to read Hamlet in Lit. Shakespeare is eeevil. I hate reading his plays, though listening is bareable at times (only with skilled actors). Many people claim that he "invented" thousands of words and sayings, but I don't dare give credit to purely one man for all of that work. He might have been the first to write it down, but not speak it all of it. Many of "his sayings" were probably language he heard on the street and so on. But on come, one man cannot have that much literary and language power. There must be some other explaination! Over the years, words could have been changed with each performance by different actors, etc. There is so much error in written and spoken language. Sometimes I wish we could communicate only with our emotions, eyes and body language. It seems so much more pure and true.

I finished my OSU application..sent it in yesterday. Oh the joys of online apps. Now to my Petit Prince rough draft that I've out off until the last mintue...

Since yesterday, I've been completely engrossed in a new novel I picked up at the library titled The Queen of the Big Time. It's a silly little love story of an Italian-American girl who in the process of facing hardships finds her significant other(s). I'm always a sucker for a good love story. So if you've read any good fiction books, feel free to reccomend some.

A few people on the Hnet boards, people are like, "THANK GOD HANSON IS SAFE!" It's pretty pathetic that when a huge natural disater like this tsunami hits, and all some fans can think about is how Hanson just missed it by a couple of weeks. I always pass by the tsunami warning sign at the docks in Florence and chuckle because a huge wave crashing down on the town seems so unrealistic.

The other day I got to thinking that I'm reall smart in my subconcious haha. It sounds funny, but I think of the most ingenious things while being half-awake and half-asleep. Random things will pop into my mind, like a French word that I suddenly knowing the meaning of, or the answer to a test questions I couldn't think of, or recollections of a memory long forgotten. Most likely, many of us could prosper while in this state. But there would have to be some kind of catch, like a crazy machine strapped to your left pinky so you could fully function. While I'm fulling awake it feels like there is something mentally holding me back, but in this half-aware dream land I feel no boundries. That reminds me of our ecstasy project Freshman year hahaha. "You e-tard!"

Something you should not try at home:
Burning your tongue on hot soup. Eating uncomfortably the whole day. Absent-mindedly forgetting your burned taste buds and brushing your tongue before bed (even with a "soft" toothbrush). Waking up the next day to the same condition. This leads to pain.

My closet is yearning for a new pair of jeans. Actually I am but hehe, it's easier to blame it on the closet. I am the jean queen. Although not so much lately because I've stopped wearing a select few. SO that means there is only 22345872394 left to wear! Gah. And that just isn't healthy. I need at least 29347 more.

I always assumed that in Mad TV's Rusty skit, the Zimas he would drink were fictional. But I saw them at Safeway haha. Safeway-The Safe Way To Go.

Updates: Added a new section called "Listening Pleasures"--has a whole bunch of banners from artists that I enjoy and support...and you should too.

Happy belated Bday Ryan!

I'm slightly congested right now. And the funny part is, I got mustard on my Kleenex earlier, so it looks like some really rancid yellow boogers.

My OSU applications is going well. But what has been the most challenging part of my life? How did I over come it? I don't freaking know. I haven't lived enough to know that yet. I haven't faced any extremely drastic challenges. Gah. *bangs head on tropical parrot mouse pad* I'm more or less picky and OSU seems like my best bet. But it seems conservative to fill out just one application. I think my answer lies in watching the sugar plum faeries dance in my head and a good day of Paul Walker butt shots. Which reminds me of yesterday when I heard a little girl say "I think it's fine when little boys model underwear but when grown men do it, it's just disgusting!" Lmfao.

Welcome our new affiliate Mattie! I've also strategically been updating "LJ Icons". So look back in that section every now and then to see some new shhtuff.

An early Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! :)

Edit // Just send out my Holiday email. If you didn't get it for some reason or another, the graphic can be found here.

I recently discovered that I can twist my lips at a diagonal angle, like this, except at a more extreme level (thank you Isaac Hanson for the example).

Volunteering at Toys for Tots was um, interesting. Katie and I stacked toys on shelves for three hours. The incompetence of some of the workers was quite annoying. They kept giving us conflicting information. "Stay behind the shelves! *grumble" "Oh no, please give out toys. Feel free to go in front of the shelves." Idiots. The Marines helping at the event were so young...and short haha. I was taller than a lot of them. Humph. I like being tall. It used to be that I was ashamed for being tall but now I embrace it because well, I can reach things. buwhaha. Noo just kidding. It gives me more presence and confidence (meaning confidence level is at 3. Anyone know where I can find some confidence. Anyone? Anyone?). And I have a larger chance to work my sex on you while you shroud in my wrath *menacing laughter*. Erh *looks around nervously*. Anyway.

I'm getting sick. YAY. Oh holy poop on a shhhtick. I forgot about the nice Toys for Tots perk, a free Nine West purse. Those babies are spendy too.

I feel like getting on a catwalk, strutting my stuff to some outlandish techno beats, and wearing a magnificently expensive outfit that no one in the world would be dumb enough to wear. The best part of waking up is Folgers’ in your cup.

Alex and Ryan: I ridiculously love you two. Now go put on your Depend underwear before another feeling gets hurt (or fecal matter unleashed hahaha that sounds like the name of a really bad horror movie).

For starters, this might be short because I kind of have to go poop.

This morning was one of those mornings where your bed is so comfortable and warm that it feels illegal to get up. My fuzzy blanket and feathered mattress cover (haha) were delectably divine. It's so difficult to bring myself into morning mode so close to "Winter Break". Each year I always make New Year's Resolutions, but this year I decided that I won't. Partly due to that fact that I never achieve any of them and end up feeling crummy about my laziness/procrastination. Also, it would be nice to make a list of accomplishments that I never set out to do, but did anyway. Over the past couple of years I've noticed how my work ethic has tunneled through a downward spiral. I used to be driven and (more) naive. I'm not really sure how that happened. But that is besides to point. Last night I was listening to Loveline, and Adam Corolla commented on how instead of thinking about the failures that you might encounter while doing something, "just do it". Obviously this had been said before (thank you Nike) but I guess it never processed in my brain. So yes folks, I will now be "just doing it"! GAAAA I just made myself a resolution. Doh. Stupid me.


Ooh Shopko had 10 different Orlando Bloom posters. I got distracted while shopping for a gingerbread men cookie cutter, kind of like a crow that sees shiny metal. Do you know how hard those are to find, by the way? My mom and I went to 5 different stores. How hard is it to stock up on gingerbread men cutters? My gosh.

After much consideration to make my Holiday graphic general (which will be emailed out shortly), I realized that I used a Christmas ornament picture haha...Okay, it wasn't that funny but slightly ironic.

To my commenters (how I love thee):
Ryan-*hits you with a spatula* Update! The same problem strikes me a lot too. So I take back the spatula hitting haha.
Alex-Do you know how good that made me feel? Meh, you are da best. *hands you a pink banana* Fake Xmas trees aren't fun. Do you guys have that tree spray made to imitate the real sent? haha Those crack me up. This is so cliché, but the #1 thing on my list is probably real, warm, love (and happiness). lmfao Buuuut if that didn't work out, loads of money so I could get a short-lived happy spending rush. Which then would make me feel worse off, so maybe not. Actually I would like to know what to do/be in life for a career. But if you are talking materialistically, then falling into a huge tub of fudge would be kind of fun-every so slightly warm and creamy...perfect for water ballet and stylistic dives. This is turning into a much longer answer than needed! lol

I haven't been feeling very happy with myself lately. My attitude with school, emotions, thoughts and body quite frankly suck. I'm disappointed because I'm doing this to myself and also because I don't know why. I'll never be able to figure my brain out. But that would be humanly impossible because you can never be smarter than your brain and if you were that means that you weren't really you and then...Well anyway, I must dig myself out of this rut.

My lit teacher is so fucked up (she is still bothering me, and will continue to all year). Every class she talks about some passage in literature symbolizing sex. It is good to talk about it every now and then because as a society we need to be more open. But it is getting to the point where it's creepy. For example, in the book "The Metamorphosis" she said "the apples that Gregor's father is throwing at Gregor symbolizes testicles, and the cane that he hits him with also represents a penis, where then anal penetration between son and father is hinted." Uhhh? It was totally random and so off course from anything that was happening in the book. She goes to great lengths to mention something sexual each day. Her "attempts" are so far fetched and/or unncessary we are sitting there looking at her like retards. Katie and I were saying next class we should ask something of the likes of, "So, since Gregor is kind of long and hard and also has a head, is he a penis? And does the couch he lies under represent female genitalia? Is he having relations with the couch?!" She also has horrible anger management problems and exerts signs of an abuser. This woman should not be teaching.

In other news, we got our Christmas tree today! :) I already know what one of my "surprises" is. I walked in on my mom wrapping it haha. Nice mom, nice. But it will be a surprise for you, ha!

Plugs: Ryan & April (Oh and Ryan, the story of the Ladies Club is for another day).
Nice eye goodies: 1 2

New layout featuring the handsome Jude Law. Comments are gladly accepted. If the face scares you just scroll down, you ninnie! I was invited to see "Closer" with the Ladies Club (don't ask) tonight, but declined.

My room is clean and smells quite nice. Candles are a gift from the heavens. Looking at my leaning Tower of Pisa CD collection reminds me not only that I need to get a new CD rack, but I need to figure out how to take a song from a DVD and transfer it into iTunes, all while maintaining the quality. Take for example, Hanson's "Rip It Up" on "Underneath Acoutic Live". That is JUST an example and would nevvvverrr pirate Hanson music *cough, gag, choke*. Erm. Sooo if you have any knowledge in this area, it would be greatly appreciated.

The Nation Geographic Channel aired a program tonight on the Egyptian Pyramids. They had discovered hundreds of bakeries outlining the pyramids and the narrator commented, "While it was obvious they were not a colony of bread worshipers..." Lmfao. *bows down to bread* "Oh bread, how art thou special. Oh so delicious and wonderful. No doubt the bread of life. *bows down again and commences a series of hmmm's*. Note to self: Start a bread worshiping colony as soon as possible.

I posted this yesterday but Blogger freaked out and it messed up my whole Archive:

Monday, November 29, 2004

Two exciting pieces of news. 1. Senior paper = Done. Over. Finished. Turned In. But the thing is, I don't feel overwhelmingly relieved about it. Partly because I know I didn't do my best on it and just BSed my way through it. I was so fed up with school and everything else that I didn't want to put in the full effort because it is just High School. Secondly, I taught myself how to "burn" photographs in Photography today without any help or instruction. It feels nice to know that I can do something without the aid of others. Stick it to the MAN. (Um okay?)

New layout soon. This one just ain't workin out! Graphics are done, HTML needs to be written--should be up in a few days.
@ 10:27 PM

Jude Law on Ellen today. Oh..my...GOD. The smile. The accent. The personality. The style. I almost died. I tried muting it for a few seconds but it didn't help and only created more torture. Gah, it was just fabulous. I'm such a teenybopper when it comes to certain men haha. Must..remember..to..breathe.

*cough* Anyway. What Not To Wear is doing a $50,000 epsiode in Paris. *cries*

It's going good on my project so far. I don't think I'll stress out too bad when it comes down to the wire haha. You should see my room though. A tornado of books and paper hit about noon on Thursday and the destruction has yet to be ceased!

New layout! I know the scrolling area is small...but deal, okay (and let me know what you think while you're at it).

Oh how joyous it is that this week is only three days long. Yay for Thanksgiving...fooOOOdd. Then the big senior paper is due that Monday. But I'm trucking along at a good pace and I think I might do okay (?). I just hope I don't get slammed for doing something terribly wrong. They don't give us very much direction or they don't give us the needed helped when we ask. I'm also getting very fed up with my Lit teacher. I hate her. Not only is she racist, but she has no confidence in us as students and when we are wrong, she lets us know we are wrong. I could go on forevverrr. Numerous people have tried to get her fired in the past but it hasn't work. She said that, "If people haven't wanted to fire me, then I'm not doing my job." WTF? Isn't that the opposite of what you're stupposed to think? Some people in this work should be smacked.

Edit // I love hats--fashionable hats. They are so freaking fun to try on. I've found so many that I want to get but wouldn't know where to where them. I used to think hats looked really bad on me, but they actually don't. SO I'M LIKE SO EXTACTIC. LIKE OMG *giggle* (erhh??). Ew, my burp tasted like gold fish crackers, parmesan to be exact...

I've been 17 for four months now, but just bought my first R-rated movie ticket last Saturday. Seen R movies, but not in threatres. They asked for my ID but my permit (haha shut up) was conveniently at home. Katie, Christina, her boyfriend and his friend that wanted to meet Katie, and I saw "Saw". Umm yeah. Remind me again why I spent $5.50 on it. At first, I was scared shitless, especially at that freaky old-time fun house mask because I LOATH those thing and they creep me out beyond belief. It was really sick and twisted. I seriously worry about the screenwriter. But as the movie went on, I couldn't help but laugh. Afterwards, I walked into my dark garage and discovered the door into the house was locked and I didn't have a key. I freaked out, and started pounding on the door. haha I was thinking, "AHH THE MASK IS GOING TO ATTACK ME!!!"

The OSU open house on Saturday went well. That is where I'll most likely go. I mean they have a freaking Badminton Club for God's sake! lmfao I'm such a dork. Plus their gym is piiiiimp. Woot. Oh yeah, before the movie Katie made me watch some of the O.C. That show is just....pathetic haha. But I do admit that Adam Brody is hot. I also have to admit that I watched Oprah again for a few minutes the other day.

I luff you guys so much: Alex, Becca, Rain, Mez & Ryan

AAAHAHAHAAHA, Michael Phelps arrested for DUI, then apologizes. lmfao This is just too freaking funny. It would even better if he was arrested on "Michael Phelps Way". His coach was saying that that was not the real Michael, what you saw in Athens in the REAL Mike. Psh, whatever Bob....you remind me of Ashley Greyson. haha Ooh, BUURN.

Each time I see a new ad for a reality television premier, I think, "TV is getting worse everyday! It can't go down the drain even MORE. Because we are already at the sewage treatment plant." But it does get worse, folks....it does. With shows such as, "Nanny 911", "The Rebel Billionaire", "Wife Swap", "The Scholar" and the list continues into the night. I enjoy mindless entertainment, but damn. I at least want it to be amusing and half-way decent, not idiotic! And no, airing it in HDTV will not entice me to watch your stupid show. When will it be over God, when? *shakes hands towards sky and weeps*

I saw Natalie Portman on Oprah the other day promoting "Closer" (dude I was watching Oprah, wtf?). She is just so cute! If I had to trade places with a 'famous' person for a day, it'd be her. I can't wait for "Closer"...partly because of Jude Law.

For future reference, when copying and pasting words from Babel Fish, make sure to change the font to the font you are using no matter HOW similar they look, because if you don't the teacher will know. NOT like I'm speaking from experience or anything. Heh. It was only a couple of phrases, okay!?!?

Yeah. So Bush is going to win it. My dad said, "Looks like we're gonna have another four years of a guy who cann't speak English." And I was thinking, "ENOUGH WITH THE SPEAKING THING ALREADY! GET OVER IT. THAT IS NOT WHAT MATTERS." But I ended up saying something like, "The speaking thing doesn't really bother me it's just the issues that he stands for." Eh, I was hoping Kerry would win it...but I'm going to move to Fiji next year so it doesn't really matter anyway hahaha. Just don't domb another nation in the next four years, okay Bush? My gut tells me that we will severely intervene in another nation's business, mainly North Korea's, but no war will surface.

The only measure which I generally cared about in Oregon was the "One Man, One Woman" measure, which failed. WOOT.
EDIT // Last night when I wrote this the measure was failing, but it is actually going to pass. Oregon is banning gay marriage. The people who voted in favor of Measure 36 should slapped. It don't care if it is "against God's words", how could you take a BASIC right away from someone? I don't understand. UAKLJHFEUIHAfkK.!>.

I think I might have some sort of stomach bug because MY tummy has been upset this past week. It's not fun. :(

Commenters:

-Becca: Ooh send some of the left overs my way!
-Rain: Muwhahaha! *eeeevil laughter* But about the college thing, I really don't know. I'll probably end up going to OSU.
-Alex: Thanks for the encouragement *huggle* And I am SO going to U of Timbuktu (I wonder what their mascot is? lmfao)
RJA: Get a job, you old bum! haha That'll probably be me too...careerless.

Wow, I always forget how many kids we get for Halloween. There are hundreds! No joke, it's crazy. We went though three huge Costco bags and three regular sized bags of candy. Some kids are so frantic for the candy that I have to pass it out a million miles a second or else I'll get mobbed. My pumpkin kicked ass. It was freaking huuuge. I carved a "spooky ghost" on it and added some bats.

Everyone in my family keeps asking me about college and I'm like, "I DON'T FREAKING KNOW!! GAAAHHHH. STOP ASKING ME!" Becca, now I know how you feel lol.

Last night I had a dream that I gained a massive amount of weight. People were coming up to me and saying, "Woah there, Ash...gained a little bit of weight, huh?" and "OMG, you got bigger over the summer!" hehe It was quite funny actually, but at the same time frightening.

Thanks commenters: Alex, Ryan, Rain, Brittney, Janet, Becca

I was thinking this morning about American politics (holy shit. this is where you get scared). Yeah, it is pretty funny to mock Bush and his lack of public speaking skills, but it gets old. People, the media, and other sources dwell on his pronunciation problem like his campaign depends on it. People talk about this to avoid others subjects, the real issues that matter. Like tax cuts, war, abortion, gay marriage, etc. Yes, he is slightly embarrassing and produces quite a good laugh. But when it comes down to it, people are not going to vote on how well a person may or may not speak in public. They are going to vote for the canidate that supports the issues they believe in. We need to focus on the real issues.

Basically the whole of politics are so petty. I hate it. That is why the debates are pointless for me. Each canidate attacks one another instead of talking about what is important. Blah, you'll never see me in DC. Hahaha check out that rhyme, beotch.

Oh another note, my contacts are driving me INSAAAANE. Thanks to all the commenters, you made my day like a bail of hay singing Macy Gray. This is where you tell me to shut up with the rhyming (and I don't even like Macy Gray....)

New layout! Wootie toot toot. Since autumn is basically here, I thought I'd share my love for fall colors with the world wide web.

I'm still looking for more affiliates, so if you want....come get the hook-up haha. I always think of semi-interesting things to blog about when I am doing something random, but when it comes time to blog I forget them and end up writing something stupid, like this for example. Ok..well I'm off the see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz.

Plugs: Rain & Ryan

Edit: 'LJ Icons' added, and '1st celeb crush' and 'Link Me' updated. And just because...

Applebee's brought back their Skillet Sensations song--"I like steak and chicken. She likes melted cheese. I like Skillet Sensations back at APPLEBEE'S." Keep in mind that you have to sing it in a highly annoying voice. Oh the joys of American television advertising. Sarah and I would always sing that last year lol. I haven't seen Sarah much this year. Actually, I haven't seen a lot of people around. Nobody has any classes now! lol I can't wait for 2nd semester because I'll only have two classes every other day and one on the others. WOOT WOOT.

Ackk, I have no voice! It's going slowly as the day goes on. Being sick sucks (oh my gosh, I just used alliteration *snort toooot*). New layout coming very soon.

Edirt // (Edit + Dirt = Edirt hahaha..haha..ha?) Yesterday Eileen gave me a personality test and told me my results were an "iX": intuitive, a feeler and perceiver, and highest possible introvert. Rofl. That's always good to hear lol. I'm introverted and I'm PROUD.

Looking for more affiliates and dailies! Leave your link by commenting or email me. :D

Beemans gum is really good. I wish they offered it more than for just a couple of months every few years. Old school gum makes me happy.

I'm so excited--I'm seeing The Carolines in a few weeks. Mehehe *dances* I couldn't see them last time, but I will be there rocking out next show. Narf. (God I'm such a dork).

I got a tattoo. Ok, I lied...it's henna. Someday it would be cool to get a real tattoo, but of what is clueless. Definitely NOT going down the Hanson symbol route *shudders*. That would be a dire mistake.

Lately I've been blurting out French and random times, meaing to say something in English. Like, "merci" and "oui" and "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?". Okay, the last one isn't true but that is irrevelant.

Remind me to stop spending money; I got another pair of shoes, a turquoise shirt, a white lace tank, and a funky raspberry-colored sweater. But everything was on sale/very cheap. How would my shopping addiction fare without TJ Maxx and the occasional Old Navy?

"WASHINGTON - Shortly before the U.S. bombing and invasion of Iraq last year, Saddam Hussein gathered his top generals together to share what came to them as astonishing news: The weapons that the United States was launching a war to remove did not exist."

This is me inpersonating and mocking Bush:
*hehe* HEY EVERYONE! I'M THE PRESIDENT OF THE U-NITED STATES. *giggle, giggle* We bombed the hell out of Eeeraq because they had WMDs. But guess what? They really didn't. *coves mouth* Oppsies! We just killed a bunch of people for nothing! *twitch*. Now our grand children's grand childen will be paying off this war. *blinks 5,000 times*

Yes, I know. That was very mature but I couldn't help myself.

I bought a Henna Kit at a natural market yesterday--the clerk was really cool (What other 'normal' store would you find some dude in a knit cap, holding back his dreads, and giving yout he 'hang ten' sign as you walk out the door?). Hippies have a very nice, fun, relaxing aura to them. A lot of my friends said I should've been one in the 60's. Katie told me the other day that she could invison me swaying with my arms in the air, dancing at a concert. lol That is so true. Especially if I wear my hair a certain way and get the right duds (haha..duds, that's a funny word). There is still time to be a hippie! I'M OFF TO MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR! Peace!

New freaking layout! What do you think? A comment or two would be nice. Alex, winner of the Layout Contest was the genius behind this little creation. She had the ideas and I put them to uhhh..the test? Anytoot. If you look closely you will see some things other than just a bowl of orange raspberries, a pink naner and a girl blowing a bubble.

There is this guy I see many times throughout the day walking in the halls. We always glance at eachother but never do anything. I must find out who he is. Watch, he's probably a freshman haha. Hmm. I know I was going to write something else. It will probably come to me later.

OH and some of the contents was also updated. Hooray. My counter host is acting up :( I don't remember what # it was at. Maybe 15,000+. Does anyone know by chance? (Very unlikely, but it is worth a try)

MICHAEL PHELPS IS COMING TO OREGON. MICHAEL PHELPS IS COMING TO OREGON. MICHAEL PHELPS IS COMING TO FREAKING OREGON. Fewh. I had to get that out of my system. It would be a miracle if I could go...

Lately I haven't been blogging much here. I usually write stupid stuff at my lj. And if you have MySpace, you should go check me out. Um let see. What else is new? Oh yeah, I'm trying to figure out which coat to get (omg like WHAT a like omg a deleima). This one, numero duex, ou numero trois. I also got my prom dress yeterday.....8 months early. Hell yeah. hahaha I found it accidently and fell in love with it. Plus it was 40% off. My huge 4,000+ word Senior Paper rough draft is due sometime late next month. *bangs head on desk*

Right now I'm discoing to The Bee Gees "Stayin' Alive".

Something funny: The "Louie Louie" Conspiracy Theory

Greetings from the co-president of Art Club. Do I sound dorky now, or what? haha Eileen and I got everything ready for today at lunch and had about 30 people show up. Yay! Good turn out if I must say so myself (must've been those cool flyers I made hahaha).

Ew. I don't know why I was complaining about boys in my last post. Most of them are dumb. I don't need boys, I've got music! Which is very true, music is my best friend. Thank you commenters, btw. xo :)

Since most of you are party poopers and don't want to submit anything for the layout contest, here's some clues for the winning layout (if no more submissions are sent in..so that means I would have more than a total of 1):




...be confused. Be very confused. (And afraid. Bwuhahahahaha.)

Victoria's Secret has the cutest stuff. But who would I ever wear this for? Is it sad that I'm 17 and have never had a boyfriend nor kissed anyone? My excuse is that they are no good guys at my school. But that is not a good excuse. There is, although I just won't talk to them. I'm too shy for confrontation. I'm afraid to go up the someone and say "Hey!" not knowing what to do after that, etc. Or to start up a conversation for example, I can't do that very well because I fear I'll run out of things to say or say something completely idiotic. I wish I was more outgoing. Sometimes life would be easier and I wouldn't have to deal with my mind running a million miles per secound with wildly random thoughts.

I love how my 'friends' ask to go to the football games with me this season, and then never end up calling me to ask if I wanted to go. I could've called Sarah (the one who asked me) but I lost her number. Always good times. Always. It's sad because I only have one friend that I assosicate with on a regular basis outside of class and that's Katie. We'll probably end up doing something tonight and like nting a movie with Orlando Bloom so we can drool all over him. Ha. High School sucks man.

Now I'm in a crappy mood.

You should check out some of these cool Northwest bands: The Pale, The Carolines, MindHead

You know what you should do? Enter the layout contest....or else *scary horror movie music and evil laugh*. The yearbook mis-spelled my last name in the Art Club photo. IDIOTS. Nights with Alice Cooper roooocks my nights. I returned my Converse and got these Steve Madden's in black. My throat kind of hurts and my right contact is dry. The guestbook is kind of lonely. Poor, poor, little thing. I can't decide if I should like Matt or Peter. Based just on these names, who sounds better? This is one random paragraph.

Yesterday after pulling out of my school parking lot there was a sign taped to the stop sign saying, "Time Machine For Sale..Call (insert random # here)." lmfao That has to be the greatest sign I've ever seen. Question of the day: What is the craziest sign you've seen?

LAYOUT CONTEST

About:
A winner will be randomly selected (each submitter is given a number) and their layout idea (design my me) will be used on my site for at least one week. Plus the winner will get many plugs.

Rules:
1. You must have a name and email to enter
2. You must submit an idea
3. You should check out this link

Submit:
You can enter here or simply comment and include your name, email, site address (if applicable), and your layout idea.

Mad props to Alex for coming up with this. You roooock.

---------------------------

I went shopping today (again) and bought another pair of jeans. They were on sale Levi's.....I couldn't resist. You know me and jeans lol. They are very lowrise so I must be careful. Plumbers crack is so unattractive. Unless of course it is Michael Phelps, then that is a whole different story.

When football season is over I will be very glad. I won't have to contend with hearing my dad yelling at the TV and commenting on every play, call or statement the announcers say. Plus all of the other college football talk that happens in the days separating the games. It gets quite annoying. There are much more important aspects in life than football. Football is meaningless.

Yay for commenters: Tamara, Miranda, Ryan, Becca

I got these shoes the other day. I'm trying to figure out if I should keep them. They are super cute (I fee like an air head saying that) but don't really match much. What do you think?



I think I'm going to re-do my senior pictures--send back the ones I took back in August and go to another photographer. They lack professionalism. Would you want to pay $325 when in half of the pictures your face is shadowed beyond clarity? The few I do like I'm going to scan hahaha. Sneaky me.

This guy on TLC's makeover story said this today and I have decided it's my new moto: "I ain't got no booty but it does the duty."

Lovely commenters: Becca & Alex (You are a genious!! I love the contest idea. Next post I will start it.)

Hmm, this layout is already boring me. What can I do to make this site more exciting? It's a total bore *hears snoring sounds from audience*. Oh wait, hold up, hold up, hold up (three times fast, bitch). I can get an exciting life! Yes, that is it. But where can I find one of those? I hear they are really hard to come by.

There is less than a week until school starts. DON'T MAKE ME GO BACK. NOOOOO, I won't do it!! Yeah, see most people are excited for their senior year. But I'm just like, "Blah. Whatever. Let's get it over with so I can move on to the next stage of life (where ever the hell that might be)."

Uh yeah. I guess that is all thats gonna come out of this blabbering mouth for tonight. I'm going to bed!

Plugs: Becca, April

New layout! What do you think? Leave a comment, s'il vous plait. Also did a little updating to the contents: Ask Me, 1st Celeb Crush, Your Mind, Affiliates, & Bootylicious Boys (you'll never guess who I added, heh).

This is my last full week of summer vacation :( I'm filled with sadness knowing that I'll soon be deprived of everything summer. I scheduled a hair appointment too. A cut and highlight, possibly a carmel color. BUT I'M SO SCARED. I've never had my hair colored before (does markers count?). What if it turns out fugly? What will I do then?!?!!? AHHHH. *screams in horror*

I think I fell in love today. My mom and I went to Portland, stopped at Pioneer Place and then that is when I saw it......Bebe. The best store ever. If I had money I'd buy like all my stuff from there. But instead I'm poor and have to buy all my stuff from the fashionable child labor mecca, Forever 21. Pioneer has some really cool stores. We have a Louis Vuitton. Yes, Oregon does. So I decided that when I'm in my 20's with a successful career I will buy everything from Bebe and live in a nice high-rise apartment with a kick ass dog and hot boyfriend. And wear high heels. Not the wimpy 2 inch ones but the serious heels. The ones where you could take out a man's left testicle with one swift kick. Which would put me at a staggering 6 feet.

We also visited Lewis and Clark College. The campus is very beautiful and in a good location but it's not the right school for me. I need to start thinking about colleges because application deadlines are going to sneak up quick. Like the random down pours thoughout today. It is the middle of August and I wore a down jacket almost all day. Something is wrong with this picture. DAMN EL NINO.

Note to stupid visitors: If you don't have anything useful to say and DON'T understand sarcasm, please refrain from commenting. Thank you.
ie: hey don't want to sound stupid but why do i have dreams about Michael Phelps?
I don't know. Why the fuck should I know? And whoever came to my site by searching for "John Edwards shirtless" is a sick freak. You should be ashamed of yourself! FYI: I'm PMSing.

I got my school packet on Friday--I have like, no classes haha. It's scary that I'm a senior, like Frankenstein's malnutritioned clone scary. Yesterday my senior pictures arrived. They are okay. I thought they would turn out better and admittedly I'm disappointed. There is only one that I truly like. The shadowing really sucks in some of them *hits photographer*. Plus I think some of them would be nicer if I had a better face hahaha. It's like in Ms. Doubtfire, "Face....I need a face!" Then she sticks her face in the frosting of a cake. Maybe I'll get a nose job or something.

The internet is working on my computer again so expect a new layout soon.

Since I'm getting SO many referrals from the likes of, "Michael Phelps shirtless", "Hot Pictures of Michael Phelps ", "michael phelps hot body", "Michael Phelps is cute", etc. I don't dare disappoint, so here is a hot picture of Michael Phelps shirtless:


I...I....i....omg. I can die happy now.



But sorry ladies (and men too...), he has a girlfriend. That bitch is LUCKY. If he swims like that in the water, can you imagine....okay I'm going to stop now before I go crazy. People on this site are already taking about marriage, divorce and other rumors. They remind me of Hanson fans.

There was a 4.7 earthquake off the coast of Newport last night and I felt it...ahhhh. We were watching the Olympics around 9 or so and all the sudden the house creeked a little and my chair was shaking. I haven't been in one for a long time. Sometime in the future there is supposed to be this huge destrucitve earthquake that will destroy everything in the Northwest. Good times.

I'm starting to make a Michael Phelps fanlisting. I'm not obsessed *looks around*. If anyone is willing to host it and help me set up the PHPFanbase (cause I'm stupid) then that would be very cool!

I decided that one day I'm going to dye my hair red (make note of the one day part). A nice auburn red with some fun lighter, natural-looking highlights. Also very good times.

Special plugs: Becca, for always commenting abd being my friend. And to Ryan, for wishing me a happy birthday in his blog that I just now saw.

Pictures went really well. It sprinkled a little bit though and I kept blinking (gah!).

I'm so glad the Olymics are finally here! Swimming is my favorite event. I mean, just LOOK at their bodies. Ok and I watch it partly for Michael Phelps...

/start teenybopper moment/
OMG I LOVE YOU MICHAEL PHELPS!!! YOU ARE SO FKING CUTE!!!!! I LOVE YOU! Yes Ian Thorp you are cute too but MICHAEL PHELPS HAS SUCH PRETTY EYES AND A HOT BOD.
/end teeny moment/

*cough* Anyway, I hope Michael wins a lot of gold because he deserves it. He is an incredible athlete. Watching all this swimming on TV makes me want to take lessons again and become a professional swimmer so I could marry Michael Phelps. Eerh I MEAN, so I could umm..swim? But no really, I stopped taking lessons 5 years ago because I reached the highest level. I wish I would've pursued it after that. Look at me. I'm only 17 years old and I already have regrets.

You can't resist the MP.

Yes, I realize that Uggs are very ugly and are for fashionistas who want to be trendy. But mother of pearl, they are SO comfortable. If they weren't so *cough* interesting looking and extremely trendy, then I would wear them EVERYWHERE. Even to bed. They are the most comfy shoe I've ever tried on. (Becca, this shoe store down here where I found them is so cool...I think you'd like it lol.)

Ice cream is good on hot days. Especially chocolate like I just had 20 minutes ago. I think I'm getting a slight tan. It wouldn't be considered tan on anyone else but for me it is a drastic change.

I was just thinking about school and I really don't want to go back. Like really, really. That place is dumb. The people suck and the actual building is disgusting. And the education? What education? Ha.

Senior pictures are next Friday. I have almost all of my outfits and make up situation planned out but hair is another thing. I shudder at the subject of my hair. I've been attempting to get a (slight) tan before the 13th rolls around but the weather has been horrible. Overcast. Rainy. Grey. Blech.

My aunt, two cousins and I went to the coast today. I tried shea butter for the first time. The beach was foggy yet surprisingly warm...for the Oregon Coast on a cloudy day. The fog was so dense that you could barely see the ocean from the sand. It was kind of a cool effect. Then some dumb fuck was body boarding. He was decked out in a full on body suit that had a HAT lmfao. We were joking that he probably had gloves and footies hehe. We went to the ice cream parlor afterwards (ahh the sweet aromas of ice cream) and the cutest guy was working there. When I saw him I felt this instant attraction. A Topher Grace clone except taller, darker and handsomer. We kept stealing long glances at eachother. It was like lust at first sight. Le sigh. I need some boy love.

Thanks to everyone who has commented on the last few entires! A hug and a half for you guys. :)

Attempt at audience interaction:
Name one thing you want to know about me.

I'm on our other computer (our rouder went out so my laptop doesn't have the net) an holy shit, this layout looks SO UGLY on here. The green is like baby poop green. It will be changed when everything is fixed.

Today I decided that after I graduate from college, I will live in a somewhat large, bustling city. Then as I get settled down, I will live on a farm surrounded by nothing but vast beautiful land. With peach orchards. Crops of green bean. Lots of bright flowers. It is so peaceful in the country. I always feel a calmness wash over my body when I am standing underneath the swaying trees.

Al Sharpton's speech at the Democratic Nation Convention was amazing. Very moving. He is a passionate speaker that says what is on his mind. I admire that, and I admire him. John Edwards did a good job too. Kerry was mediocre. I'm not a big fan of his at any rate. But for the sake of our country (and others) I hope that Bush does not get re-elected. I would vote for Kerry if I was at voting age just so Bush could get the hell off our country's podium.

Mr. President, in all due respect, Mr. President, read my lips: Our vote is not for sale...