I woke up this morning and was pleasantly surprised by SNOW! Whee it was fun. That means I have to do community service tomorrow and Wednesday, instead of today and tomorrow like I planned. Thank god for snoooow *sings*.

The new year is approaching so I've decided to make a list of New Year's Resolutions:

-Spend less time on Hanson.net, and the internet in general
-Think only about making myself wonderful
-Work out for 15 min. each night, just enough to get toned
-Stop living in a shell and caring about what others think of me
-Re-unite with my Pee-towners and meet Hanson again
-Meet Hanson and go to a Maroon5 show with Becca
-Become less worrisome
-Do more social activities outside of school
-Spend more time with friends, less time at home
-Stop being lazy
-Go to more concerts and shake my ass
-Have more fun and enjoy life

My brain is tired (..must..get..food..and..lick..Zac..Hanson), and that's all I can think of at the moment. Share yours! And have a safe and happy 2004 :) And while you're at it, sign the poor, lonely guestbook.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! :) I got a lot of great stuff--clothes, candles, ornaments, soft towels, undies, beads, chocolate, scrapbooking materials, and a little figurine of my dog with wings and a halo. It almost made my cry when I opened it lol.

My old gbook is being spammed by porno! lmao I went to check it earlier today and all these images of girls in thongs and bikini's came up advertising their porn sites. Greeeat.

I've never typed with nails this long before. I now understand why pianists always keep their nails short. I'm having a slightly challening time typing haha. I didn't think they can grow this long. I'm not going to trim them until the end of break. So in the meantime I can SCARE everyone with my dagger-like nails! *evil laugh*

Mad Cow diease has now hit the US...and it's only a state away from me. Meeps. For those of you who don't know what Mad Cow diease is, it's tranmitted to the cow by infected chemical feed, and basically what it does it eat away at your brain, then you die. Hopefully the beef that was infected was not eaten by anyone (and we had prime rib for xmas dinner, yay). So only organic beef for Ash (and you) from now on.

I added all of the Christmas graphics I got, click the "Contents" link to your right and away you go. Plugs to everyone who sent me one: Becca, Sez, Cheryl, Mez, Mattie

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! :) Thank you to everyone who sent me xmas graphics...I luff you guys! I will put them up and plug you all later. :) And a plug to the cool commenters, Will, Cheryl and Whitney. You guys gave me a lot of ineresting things to think about. I always try to see it from all sides but there are some other sides I haven't explored yet. And I'm sorry if I offened anyone last entry. I think what I was trying to say came out wrong--I don't hate religious people, I just don't respect the ones who hate others because of who they are.

I saw Pirates of the Carribean for the first time tonight. Orlando Bloom is offically the sexiest man alive. As my Christmas gift to all of you, here is a little eye candy (beware, the following contents may cause wetness of the panties): BAM! That man is sex on wheels. hehe Every time I say that it reminds me of a wobbly cart being pushed down a hall going "squeak, squeak, squeak".

It is getting to the wee hours of the morning....and I have a lot to do tomorrow. Like taking a shower, eating, opening gifts, more eating, stalking Orlando Bloom, eating, and last but not least, getting in bed with Orlando. Merry christmas to all, and to all a good night.

What is this? Ash blogging THREE days in a row, you say?!? It's a conspiracy! But today is very significant so I must. A year ago today, my dog died. He was my best friend. He didn't care who I was, what I looked like or anything at all. He just loved me for me. When I was having a horrible day he was always there to cheer me up with his soft nudges and wet kisses. I miss him so much. I want him to be here right now, curled him laying beside my chair. Shit now I'm crying. I love you Ripley.

I gave into trend and temptation today. I was at the Banana Republic and saw this scarf and decided to put it on for fun. But when I found that it looked good on me, I had to get it.

You would be proud of me. I actually made an attempt to talk to Seth today *gasp*. I decided to stay for 3rd since he had a free 3rd and a lot of other people did too. He is the sweetest, funniest guy ever but one of the most homophobic, close-minded people I've ever met. He was saying how "gay people aren't the creation of God and they are sinners" then later on he said something along the lines of "I hate Abercrombie because they have porn and they support gay people and gay organizations". WTF? I was about to smack that stupid bastard. I wanted to so very badly but it would've created bad problems lol. Overly religious people like him annoying the shit out of me, especially if they are so discriminatory. It's not like gay people wake up one day and decide "Hmm I feel like being gay from now on!!" Just like you can't choose what color your eyes are, you can't choose what sex you like. It pissed me off so much. I mean he truly is an awesome guy, if you exclude the fact that he is a close-minded biggot. If it weren't for that I'd like him. Oh well, his loss.

Thank you to the two lovely commenters Becca and Will. I'm tired, hungry and my throat hurts like a bitch. And in yesterday's post I was very screwed up. I was having an ugly day haha.

Have you ever wished you were different or could change the way you are? I'm sure you have. It's crossed all of our minds at least once. I wish I had a better personality. My shyness and fear of what people think of me keeps me from being who I want to be, and what I know I can be. I think this is due to the way I was raised. Sheltered from all things bad and left alone with no siblings. My reserved and inverted personality gets in the way. For once I wish I could break through my shell and be audacioous. But I don't know how.

I wish I could be more beautiful. It sounds superficial, and maybe it is, but what's wrong with wanting to be attractive? I'm fine with my body...its just my face. I want to peel the fucking thing off and start new again. I've noticed the world favors the more beatiful people, and always has. I want the world to be a Walt Whitman. He thought everything beautiful. I love his poetry.

If I could just start over and change a few things about myself I would be happy. I don't think I'll ever be happy with the way I am. I want to be something else.

On another note, I wrote a poem last night and am going to submit it for a scholarship. Wish me luck.

*smacks self* I HATE BOYS. David is so fucking sexy. He just HAAD to look so incredibly fine today with his adorable puppy dog eyes and the whole "rubbing the chest and streching thing". Holy shiz. I was looking at him when he was doing that and oh my...I just have to say that if I didn't have a considerably reasonable amount of restraint, than that poor boy would have been tackled to the ground smothered in my kisses haha. So you thought I liked Seth, right? Well stupid ass David and his sexiness is making me question my liking of Seth. David needs to do something stupid so I will stop liking him...like..pee his pants. Yes, that is what he needs to do. And I am sure that all of you reading this right now REALLY care about who I like because it is such an integral part of your life. Don't mind me about my boy ramblings, I am just trying to avoid a shit load of homework.

So they captured Saddam. His captivity photos are almost as scary as Michael Jackson's mug shot *chuckles*. And Keiko died :(. I was lucky I got to see him when he was at the Oregon Coast Aquarium.

Thank you commenters: Julia and Becca. I'm off to my dailies!

Mehehe I like another boy :) David's friend. Yes, David has moved to 2nd place on my list. His friend, Seth (I think?), seems more my type. He's not immature AND he plays the guitar, which is 50 million bonus point in itself hehe. I always find him looking at me, and I look at him and *sigh* I can't get him out of my head. I can picture myself being with him--Me dragging him to Hanson concerts (buwhaha), cuddling on the couch, keeping me warm when I'm cold, etc. *cries* He seems like such a great guy.

ANYWAY enough of this stupid boy talk. I don't really have much else to say other than I'm starving, I have a lot of homework this weekend and no time to do it aaaand I like Seth. I want a bagel with Seth on top hahaha.

I looked around at school today and noticed that everyone looked the same clothing wise (people watching is so fascinating, I always discover something. People are every interesting subjects). It suddenly hit me how much it bothered me. I'm not going to be like that and I don't want to be like that. The lack of good stores is also the account for such uniformity, but come on. *bangs head on desk* I've never seen so many walking Abercrombie ads in my life. Mommy HLEP! It scares me!

I found the perfect college, The Fashion Institute of Technology in NYC. It made me get all giddy and clap lmao. They have SO many major to choose from, not just fashion. The possibilites going through my head are endless. Ain't nobody gonna keep me from my dreams lol. So when the day comes that I have my own (successful) botique and you can come in and get a discount...thank me later. ;)

I got my flu shot today. I read in the newspaper the other day that the world is due for another world-wide flu empidemic, like the one that killed 20 million people over a century ago. Oh YAY.

So I have started my Christmas list (not that I am going to get any of these...buuut I can try):
-Sony CD Mavica 5MP Digital Camera, one of the nicest out there
-SpongeBob Squarepants Season 1 DVD
-Urban Decay eyeshadow
-iTunes Gift Card
-Money for my college education because with my plans it's gonna cost a hella lot hahaha

Thank you to all the lovely, wonderful people who commented: Becca, Julia, Laurie, April and Mez

My comments are so effed up. Its saying I have none when there is actually 5. STUPID THING! *shakes fist at enetation* I'm going to find a different comment service after I blog.

This flu empidemic is REALLY scaring me. I'm so paranoid. I wash my hands before I eat and after I get home from school. Plus I don't want to go places unless I have to. Shut up and stop laughing at my scareness lol. Plus my friend works at a doctor's office and they diagnosed a person with a strain of the flu that is not covered by the shot. Meeps! I really should get my flu shot.

I went to the dentist yesterday and I have a cavity :(. OOoh and the ABC Family show "Switched" is going to be at my school soon! I want to watch it and be like "AH! That's my school and my town!!" lmao.

Thank you everyone whose commented on the last few entires! :D

Edit: I got a new comment system, yay! Hopefully this one won't screw up.

Ok, it's official....I want to rape David. He is just so damn fine. As I was walking down the hall today he was looking at me again, his head moving along with me as I walked past him until I sat down and people blocked his view lol. Hell yeah I AM ONE SEXY BEYOTCH, YO! I couldn't help but look at him a little, his puppy dog eyes are too adorable. But I am stupid yet again, he was sitting alone and I didn't talk to him. Someone smack me.

I love boys. Especially David. And Zac Hanson.

Jamie Oliver is a sexy British chef. And he has the best recipies, mmm, mmm good.

I have a lot of homework soooo I must leave you for the moment.

Yay I went shopping today. I luff shopping. I didn't find much though. There were so many things that were waaay out of my budget and just a plain rip off lol. I'll go to Portland soon and find some good deals at Forever 21...awesome store. I don't have much to say so this is going to be a usless post. I'm just trying to avoid doing my homework during this nice Thanksgiving break. Damnit! I want t left over turkey sandwhich! But do we have any turkey? Nooo.

This Garfield comic makes me laugh. :)

I've been looking at colleges lately. I know I want to go to a fashion design and merchandising school. The only problem is they are 1/2 year colleges. I want to back myself up with a 4 year university, and also live the college life. I'm thinking maybe going to a 4 year uni., then go to fashion school. I wouldn't know what to major in at the university though. I don't want to become a usless ninie hehe.

I changed the layout around a little bit. The other one was just making me cringe. Let me know how the iFrames work out for you (my first time doing them, woot woot).

David is so fucking hot. Each time I see him I just want to rape that boy! RAWR! Omg and he has the nicest butt ever *wishful sigh*. He was lifting up his pant leg comaparing his leg to some other guys (and of COURSE David's was way better hehe), and wow...he us just lickable. So tan and muscular and damn fine. Ok a little hairy but it works for him. That boy could be wearing a speedo and it could work! Ha ok no. No one and I repeat NO ONE looks good in speedos.

I almost forgot to put deoderant on today. I rushed up stairs before we left to put it on quickly. I managed to get it on my shirt AND in my hair. Don't ask. I washed it off thinking it would go away but nooo I come home from school to find that it was still there. I was walking around all day with deoderant showing visibly on my shirt. haha My coolness amazes me.

New DAMN sexy layout! Heh I dunno about that but I was ready for a change. Tell me what you think. :)

I was scared out of my boots the other morning, here's the story: Innocently eating breakfast and reading the paper, I was stopped in the midst of a chocolatey bite of muffin when I saw the most hideous thing in my whole entire life--Michael Jackson's mug shot. Dear god, they should've warned us! Think of the poor kids! Sometime like "Warning, proceed with caution. The following may cause blindness." hehe

I need to talk to my David lol. Yes, he's mine...GET OFF BITCH! haha Oh lordy. Anyway! As I was walking towards where I usally sit for lunch and he was blatanly staring at me *spanks ass*. It couldn't be more obvious. AND he was sitting by himself. Did I do anything about it? No of course not. Sarah was like "Ashley! He was sitting RIGHT there looking at you and you didn't do anyting!!" *smacks self* I'm stupid.

I got a haircut yesterday. It's a little shorter than I wanted it but that's just as well, the ends were getting dry.

*sings*
Yes I'm grounded
I got my wings clipped
I'm surrounded by all this pavement
Guess I'll circle
While I'm waiting for my fuse to dry

Someday I'll fly
Someday I'll soar
Someday I'll be so damn much more
'Cause I'm bigger than my body
Bigger than my body now
Bigger than my body now

A little late night bloggin for Ash *evil laughter* I'm supposed to be sleeping so SHHH. I can hardly see the keyboard...too dark, man tehe. I'm feeling better today. I just have horrible mood swings. Damn period. Or maybe I'm manic depressive? Ahh CALL THE PHYSCO WARD! Demented Hills! Demented Hills! (Didn't you guys ever see "Good Burger" with Keenan and Kell? *giggle*)

Yesterday morning a guy at my school hung himself. I guess he wasn't fully successful at first before his parents found him and he died two hours later. What a sad loss, he was only 15 years old. That poor boy. If only he knew there was another way out than ending his life. The freaky thing was I heard tons of sirens yesterday morning. :(

I have a new daily, meet Mattie! :) Oh and I forgot to plug Cheryl last time, luff ya!

Ok it's way too dark to type so I'm off! VROOOOOOM

I just got off the phone with Katie. I told her about my "friend delima" and she didn't even care. She was just like "Well...go um..I dunno, do something." She was so insensitive towards my feelings. I have definitely come to the conclusion that everybody think they are better than me and that I am not good enough for anyone anymore. I always felt sorry for loners but I never thought I would become one. What's happening to me? I used to have friends and an unfucked mind.

I have so much lonliness in my life. There's no one offline, out of my friends that I can turn to. I don't feel like anyone truly cares about me. I know people care about me, but no so much in a way that is "Where's Ashley? I want to go to lunch with her." No one ever calls me anymore except for Katie, and that is about homework and boy shit. I call other people but we've lost so much in common that its hard to figure out what to talk about. Then we end up never calling eachother back. I stopped trying because it wasn't getting anywhere.

I used to feel like I fit in. Now I'm just a lonely little shadow that gets unoticed and doesn't know where it belongs. People have shifted their priorties and their friends with out me. It hurts. Its like no one wants to be my friend anymore. It wouldn't be such a be deal if I had a lot of good people who I could talk to, but I don't. I've tried and tried without any results. I'm lost and I don't know how to find myself. If only there was someone to help me.

New layout soon. This one fucking sucks.

Yes I am alive! I've been erhh...busy. Yeah, thats it *looks around*. I've been neglecting this poor little site. I FINALLY got a desk, YAY! No more make-shift box desk hehe. And it's very nice too *pets desk* Although it does make my room even smaller. We had art club yearbook pictures on Friday and our teacher made all of us wear berets hahaha Yeeeaah, we're gonna be the sexiest club there, true DAT. ha I've gone insane. I've been accidently hurting myself lately. I burnt my finger on the god freakin toaster the other day and I did something weird to my hip last night. Humph. I need a cookie hehe :)

My mom and I went to a college fair this weekend and I got an ass load of brochures. There are some AWESOME looking ones from art schools that I grabbed just because I was so interested in the design aspect of them lol. But I did find a few colleges that I want to look into. One in particular, The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. They have graphic design, product and store managments, costume design, etc. It was amazing and I'd love to go there...but the only thing is there are so many majors there that I would want to do. I have so many ideas wizzing through my head. Its hard to settle on one.

And thank you to all my commenters. You guys really mean a lot to me :) Thank you. Becca, Cheryl, Mez and Lillian rock.

I cried myself to sleep last night. My dad was yelling yet again and I just couldn't keep my composure and this fucking happy face I put on all the time. I do that just to please others so they won't think anything is wrong with me. And sometimes I DON'T want them to know anything is going on. I'm a very private person and don't like people seeing my weak side.

Things that are evil:
-early morning class
-cold weather
-chemistry (the most usless class I've ever taken)
-being lonely

Things that are good:
-sleep
-chocolate
-cute boys (ie: david)
-hanson (Carnegie Hall this Wednesday--that's right, my boys are legends)

I need to make a new layout. Blah.

SIGN THE GUESTBOOK GOD DAMNIT!! The thing is lonely....go give it a good spankin ;)

Hair-smeller-freaky-boy (haha oh yeah, rockin name) insists on talking to me everytime he sees me. It's umm interesting. While I was talking to him before school today Dale comes up and gives me this huge hug which he rarely does....compeititiiooon oh la la hahaha. Big football game tomorrow and I'm gonna freeze my ass OFF! Seriously I think I will.

I need to stop slacking. My grades aren't as good as I know they can be in a few classes. But when I think about the classes I'm not doing well in are the ones with bad teachers. Go figure. Oooh I'm applying for a scholarship. I have to write a small peom. Wish me luck!

I don't understand this, why am I attracted to so many guys right now? I can name 5 off the top of my head. Stupid thoughts of boys are going to corrode my mind, ack. Maybe its my mating season? rofl

*falls over from reading so much* I just read over a 100 pages of "Black Elk Speaks" in a matter of hours. It was actually a really good book. I suggest it for a different type of reading, if you're in a dream-y sort of mode. The ending is very powerful and I discovered a weird sort of feeling of completeness after reading it. I found a quote out if it that I'm going to share because I "spoke" to me if you will: "It is hard to follow one great vision in this world of darkness and of many great changing shadows. Among these shadows men get lost."

I saw David (aka Mr.EE in some of my previous posts) at the game on friday...my cute little JV football player who is a sophomore! haha Damn he is so cute I just want to smoother him with kisses everytime I see him lmao. Homecoming was last night and it turned out to be fun. Not the greatest dance ever, but I had a good time. I was dancing like a crazy-foo! hahaha David wasn't there though :( Although his friend was...and he is cute in a weird sort of way. He seems really nice too. As Sarah and I were walking out I had my arms crossed and pulled close to me to keep me warm, which in turn made my boobs kinda fall out of my dress haha. And there was this guy sitting in a car, we made eye contact and he smiled and said "Hi," as we were walking past him, so in this sexy voice I'm like "Hiiiiiii." rofl Sarah and I started cracking up! I should've gone back there to talk to him lol.

So I was in the library at school today looking information up about Italy and this dude next to me starts talking to me. He was really nice, trying to make conversationg and stuff. Although it did get annoying when he kept mentioning how many places he'd been and how much money his family has. Uh yeah like I care? Then he was all leaning into me while typing random countries on my computer and smelling my hair. Eww *pushes dude away* I don't think I would've cared WASN'T the guy who kept staring at my friends ass last year. haha

Homecoming this Saturday. Blah, I don't want to go but I got a dress so now I feel obligated. Plus I have so much work to do this weekend and not enough time! Ahh the stress! It's taking over! lol *runs around in circles screaming and pull hair out* Ahhhhhh!


YOU LIVE IN A WALMART BAG!!!

what's YOUR deepest secret?

HAHAHA That's SO me! And thanks to all the commenters on the past few entries, much love for ya! :)

I accidenly O.D. on cold medicine. I took 5 doses instead of 4 in a 24 hour period. I read the directions wrong lol. Well it won't kill me, or at least I hope not! So if you don't hear from me in a long while... (ha ok thats not funny).

I felt so bad when my friend Sara called earlier today. She started to cry because our school won't let her back in since they aren't accepting any transfers right now. She's being homeschooled at the moment, but her guardian isn't teaching her anything. She was like, "I want to learn! I want to have a future!!" It really sucks. I wish I could do something to get her back to school. But I am virtually powerless in this issue (I almost typed tissue hahaha).

God I was so pissed on Saturday during the PSAT. When I registered for it a couple of weeks ago the lady didn't take my name, so I found out that morning they weren't going to count my score. I was like WTF? Isn't that YOUR guys' fault, not mine? So after I bitched about it the guy got it straightened out and my score is gonna count after all. Thank god *grumbles*

I so want to sell this stuff! I could have my friends buy it and I could make some extra cash by doing practically nothing. OMG IDEA....the money that I could get from this could go towards my "Follow Hanson on their next tour with Pee-towners in our Love Mobile with Mr.Jiggles the cat" fund. I should give myself a nice pat on the back for that idea.

PSAT tomorrow. I'm a little nervous....eerrh ok, I'm scared out of my boots! ahaha And its at 8 am in the freaking morning. *grumbles* I want to sleep in god damnit! I'll just have to eat some chocolate before I leave because they is supossed to increase the altertiveness of your brain or something like that.

The street cleaner just went by. The sound turned me on hahaha No not really I just felt like saying that because I'm in a weird mood. Must be the Sudafed Sinus! I think I have a cold. It's like a nasal plug or something....stupid, weird arse cold. Oooh I found out Mr.EE's name today, David. I heard someone calling his name. I haven't "officialy" talked to him yet. My friend Elizabeth's moving away party is tomorrow. I'm sad, I don't want her to move away :(

This entry has been random and pointless. But then again, when are my entries every meaningful? lol

I found out one of my friends is bi the other day. I guess he told some girl who he's friends with and after he left she ended up telling half the people who were at her house. I kinda saw it coming though. There were some clues a long the way...but I just thought he was a little flamboyant. The sad part is everyone thinks he's weird now and he said he'll probably just end up marrying a girl because he doesn't want his family to be ashamed. I feel sorry for the poor guy.

Last night my mom was talking about Pilates and she goes, "Have you ever hear of 'paul-ettes'?" HAHAHA I just started laughing. And I go, "You mean 'pull-aut-ese'?" She was really surprised that you pronounced it that way, so then I convinced her it was "pual-ettes"...she believed me of course then I told her again that it was "pull-aut-ese". hehe I love doing that to people.

Sara said she would do yoga with me, yay! Now I just have to find some cheap place thats close. I have so much homework *groan* Oh and I just want to say that I loath Hanson.net at the moment.

Only things like this happen to me--I volunteered at a refreshment table for a Walk-A-Thon and one of the lady's helping was a man haha. "She" was wearing Jinco jeans, purple nail polish and some really nasty musk perfume. hehe But she was really nice. Then I saw this guy who looked like Josh Hartnett, I was thinking "Rawr *POUNCE*!"...as the refreshment table come crashing down and cheese sticks fly everywhere lol. I can totally see that happening.

I FINALLY heard from my friend Sara who's been "missing in action" for a couple of months. And of course she calls when I'm gone. Tiff talked to her earlier and was telling me a little bit of what happened. Sounded like some serious sheeeot. She didn't tell me everything because Sara wanted to tell me what happened. I hope she's okay. Tiff said she sounded sad :(

I really want to go see "Scary Movie 3" Omfg it looks hilarous....and the Michael Jackson part HAHAHA. Yeah I gotta see this movie. And thank you to everyone who's been commenting the last few entires. :0)

I had the most disgusting burrito for lunch. It was like...bean paste with some sort of cheese substitute. haha What in the world has school a la carte come to? *shakes head* And they except me to pay a while 50 cents more compared to lasat year for an even shitier piece of crap! Humph.

So Tiff and I were supposed to talk to my Ethan Embery look-a-like crush today. Heh thats much harder done than said. She went over and talked to his friend that she knows that was standing with Mr.EE (lol thats what I'm going to call him until I find out his real name) and she motioned for me to come over. Both MR.EE and his friend were looking at me when I was coming over and Mr.EE was following me with his eyes as I was walking towards them. It was so not obvious...But OH YEAH BABY! He's kinda quite though. Maybe my sexiness intimated him. rofl Yeah I bet that was it. So I didn't really talk to him...just his friend. DOH that wasn't the plan! But aw he is so adorable and has a very nice butt. *smacks it and runs away* hehe

On another note, my smurf name is Critically Ill Smurf. LMAO!

SOMEONE MAKE ME STOP PROCRASTINATING GOD DAMNIT! I have an essay to write and I have like 100 words out of 1,000 *smacks head on table*. Tiff and I are going to talk to out Ethan Embry look-a-like tomorrow :D *licks him* haha

Art club is fun. We're painting bowls lol. Mine's seeexy. I love iTunes. I'm really into this Radio thing they have on there. "Beethoven Radio" is amongst my favorites haha. Its relaxing and it helps me study when I'm not putting shit off.

Short entry, nothing to say except I am going to change that the Random Picture right now. Must...refrain..from..putting...up...Zac..Hanson..again.

Today was really good. Nothing special happened though..it was just good. Ok so maybe I talked to the guy I saw yesterday and thought was cute and now I sort of like him hehe :) He reminds me of this actor, Ethan Embry click and click, except with darker hair and eyes and side burn (ooooooOOH MAN!!!). He is such a cutie! Not hot but there is something incredibly adorable about him that makes me want to smile when I look at him (awww). His friend was talking about how he was such a ladies man and how he went through girlfriends a lot and he was like, "Well I got bored." haha Not cool! But he is really religious and I swear I heard him say he hasn't kissed anyone yet and doesn't plan to until he gets engaged (?!?!). Woah..definitely interesting. And I saw him checking me out...OOOlala SCORE! *shakes ass*

There is so much work that our Lit teacher is making us do. We're reading two books, one "The Tempest" which we're reading it in class, plus a zillion other things that go along with reading these two books, then an essay and a whole bunch of other crap. Blah. Oh then I found out I'm playing Miranda and have to wear a "long, flowing dress and flowers in her hair" lmao. That is gonna be a sight.

Thank you commenters :D -- Sez, Becca, Mez, Reed and Kena.

Incredibly bitchin new layout lol. I dunno if you could really call it that...but let me know what you guys think :) Today was really good. I think my period and those durn hormones were screwing with my brain and making me sad. Did I mentioned I'm in Art Club? Ha yeah GO ART CLUB! We're painting these bowls and I'm planning to do some kind of Indian/Arabic theme. I was looking for inspiration online and Indian jewlery and body art is just amazing. I love their abstract designs, bold colors and use of jewels. There is such a beauty to it. I feel like an art critic lol. Anyway we are selling these bowls and if someone actually buys mine I'm going to feel so special! hehe

I'm also thinking of doing yoga. I was interested in doing it this summer but never got around to it. When someone mentioned in my comments that I should try yoga it re-inspired me. It'll be a good relaxation tool *sits cross-legged and Ummmms* haha Now that I'll be joining a yoga class I'll have to get some REALLY tight spandex ROFL. That'll be DEAD SEXY. You know it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who commented last entry...you guys give good advice and make me feel better *big hug* :) I promised myself that next week WILL be better and I'll get my self out of this rut. Nothing much going on, just sitting here drinking water in my FREAKING HOT room. Its so warm in here I'm sweating buckets. I'm bored. *searches for blow up Zac doll*

I decided to customize my larger than life Hanson Street Team shirt to make the fit a little better. I'm going to find some cool way to "do it myself" hehe. I'm a DIY-er *snort*

New layout soon (be EXCITED).

I have no real friends. I have friends but none of them are true and they don't give a shit about me. Can't they see that I am hurting so badly inside? No my hard shell won't let them see it. I want so much to confide in someone at my school. But no one would understand. The only person who understands me is Jess (one of my pee-towners, can I hear a whoop whoop?). She knows what I'm going through and I know what she's going through. Our minds are so much a like, we are practically the same. She's the only person I've ever been able to open up to and relate to. The only problem is, is that she lives in Alaska. (Why Jess why? But it will be alright, we are going to Tulsa in just a couple of years! lol ;D)

I've never felt so alone. I feel like a zombie walking down the halls. This year is getting worse day by day. I can never find anyone for lunch and when I do they are off doing better things that I don't want to intervene with. Like today I asked what Christina was doing and she was like "Ooh going with Katie for a litte talk." Ok alright so I didn't bother asking anymore and just went on my lonely way to find someone. Later on I saw them and some other girl just giggling and walking around. Uh thanks guys. Real friends that I have. Katie just calls me for homework that I never give her and then wants to talk about guy problems. I don't give a shit bitch. I'm not going to let anyone use me. So I ended up going to the art room again today to work on the school webpage. It is so sad and I've never felt like such a loner before. It's like no one cares about me and I'm beginning not to care for myself. Why do I have to do this to myself? I keep walking into a darker and darker cave, withdrawing myself whenever possible. I put on a fake smile for everyone to show that everythings all right. But its not. The hurt is so bad. God damnit I just want to fit in and for someday this little mind of mine to make sense.

I'm on the verge of tears.

Anyway this is my first entry here at never-forget.org. I luff ya Sez and thank you so much for hosting me. And thanks to Tara, my previous host. I'm sad to see the domain go.

I was so bored last night I did my make up all funky. I lined my eyes in a black pencil, put a turquise/gold hue on my eyes up to my brows, glupped on the mascara and lined (again) in a purple sparkley shadow haha. I felt so 80's. I was doing all these modeling poses in the mirror lol. I should've taken pictures! I went to get a necklace cleaned and the chain is STILL dingy. The silver chain was already a little diry before the Portland and Seattle Hanson shows but afterwards it was almost black! haha I was sweating so bad! They reccomened that I use silver polish and a toothbrush to clean it. Ha yeah right, too much work for me. Paperflower.net is closing in a month :( I'll miss it here *sniff* I have so much homework this weekend. WHY do they do this to us? Why?!?

Speaking of Hanson, if you want to see my pictures of when I met them just email me or leave and comment and I'll send you the link :).

God my dad is such a fucking dick. The yelling never ends. I was sitting here doing my homework just a few minutes ago and couldn't even read because he was yelling and complaining so loud. He wants my mom's helps but yells at her for doing it wrong. Why doesn't he go do it himself then? Urgh. Then when my mom is helping him he goes "BABbaba, DONT' TALK!" or "STOP TALKING!" Wtf? You don't treat people like that. I can't stand all this shit anymore. He freaking controls her like a robot. Two more years and I'll be out of here...living my life how I want it and away from the yelling. I need to get away. It's not good for my emotional state, seriously. It's been this way ever since I can remember. I should look into how growing up in an environment like this affects the brain.

Thank you Mez and Amy for commenting :). Off to visit blogs..

This school year already fucking sucks. Two days into it and I already want out. My friends are nowhere to be found during lunch. Some of them have gone to different schools, found friends they're closer with, drive in their cars to lunch, go to work or whatever. I find myself looking for someone I know and just inviting myself to lunch with them. I don't like doing that because I don't "fit in" with their group and I always end up feeling like an outsider..a third wheel. If things wouldn't have changed from last year it would all be good. But now people are finding better things to do and forgetting me :(. I'm so lonely and all I want to do is have a group of friends that I actually fit in with. I mean I have friends, but not a lot of good ones that truly care about me. Will I never fit in?

My song of the day:

Isn't it weird. Isn't it strange
Even though we're just two strangers on this runaway train
We're both trying to find a place in the sun
We've lived in the shadows, but doesn't everyone
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird sometimes
Isn't it hard. Standing in the rain
You're on the verge of going crazy and your heart's in pain
No one can hear though you're screaming so loud
You feel all alone in a faceless crowd
Isn't it strange how we all get a little bit weird sometimes

Sitting on the side. Waiting for a sign. Hoping that my luck will change
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same
When you live in a cookie cutter world being different is a sin
So you don't stand out. And you don't fit in. Weird
Sitting on the side. Waiting for a sign. Hoping that my luck will change
Reaching for a hand that can understand, someone who feels the same
When you live in a cookie cutter world if you're different you can't win

So you don't stand out and you don't fit in. Weird
Isn't it strange how we all feel a little bit weird
Strange, how we all get a little bit
Strange, 'cause we're all just a little bit weird sometimes
Just a little bit weird sometimes
"Weird" by Hanson

Anyway the Hanson concerts and the Meet and Greet were more than I could ask for. Hanson is such an amazing and talented band...no one will ever top them in my book. The Portland show was simply magical. A review later.

Hanson = TOMORROW! Oh-my-god...must...remember...to...breathe.

Thank you to everyone who's commented in the past couple of days, I luff you all! I'm off to pack..

I AM FUCKING MEETING HANSON! Yes you read that correctly! I got a Meet and Greet for P-town baby! I had a really good feeling all this week about. My concious was telling me something good was going to happen. And god damnit it was right on the spot. Also today in class we wrote down who we wanted to meet and I wrote Hanson and by golly my wish came true. The coincidence is weird I wrote that down and then got the email for the M&G in the same day. WHEEEEEE!! 4 (closer to 3) more days! I'M SO EXCITED!

So my first day of school. Yup, I was almost late. Having class at 7:30 is just WRONG. Not many people are in my first two classes but that's ok. I know some in the later ones. Then I get to leave after lunch...the only perk to have class that early in the morning. We went to lunch at Taco Time and they ran out of table numbers so I was left with just walking up there and getting my food. It was taking forever then they finally came out so I grabed it...it ended up it was someone else's food. I just thought they screwed up or something so I was like whatever, I'm eating this! Oooopsies hehe. Then I went to our football game tonight (right after I found out about the M&G :D) and we won! Whoop whooop! Made my day even better. I'm trying to get Christina to stop liking Anthony. She almost started crying when we were talking about it. I felt so bad. I can see what she sees in him but then again I don't. He is so nice and funny and such a gentleman but at the same time he is really immature and just a forking guy. He tries too hard for everyone to like him all the time. I think the more people he knows, the bigger his ego gets and the more special he feels. After we left he was like "Awww you guys are going?" And gave as all hugs. Ha it seemed like it was all show but then again I dunno. Because I am pretty good friends with him and it's not like I haven't done that before. Although he was trying to impress some senior girls and probably wanted to show that he had other girls friends and was all pimp like. hehe He cracks me up...men *shakes head*.

God damnit. I just took my school picture and got back in the car to find that my hair was fizzy and wind blown. And of course I didn't bother/take the time to fix it before the lady took my picture...noo..I wouldn't do a thing like that to make my picture look good. LKSAI8ELFPE;DJHA Grrr. I know it is going to be bad. Then I walked all around for the rest of registration like that. Ughhhhrrrrr. Wait you know what? I don't care. I don't give a fuck if people saw me and thought "Erh, nice hair." I don't care what you think. Yeah I like Hanson. SHOVE IT BITCH. I'm not going to care what people think of me anymore. And if they want to judge me, screw them. I'm so sick of sterotypes, judgemental bastards and people who won't give you the time of day just because you are the hottest or prettiest thing around. Just fuck all of you. Humph.

Hopefully I will be getting a desk soon. There are 40 thousand possibilites but nothing seems to work because there are so many scenarios surrounding it *sigh*. I just want a cheapo desk that will fit. My 3 Doors Down review is done...I should've taken a camera. New layout soon. This one is bugging the hell out of me for some reason. It's not the best work I've done, in my opinion. I have a little trick up my sleeve but probably won't beable to post it for a while because I have no real graphics program! The one that come with the computer doesn't have an option to add text. Pfft, what kind of graphics program is that? *grumbles* I'm feeling sorry for myself because summer is almost over and I don't want it to end. Maybe I should go outside and lay in the sun while reading up on the PSAT's and watch the physco neighborhood squirrel eat leaves.

I went and saw 3 Doors Down the other night in concert (8/26 at the OR State Fair)! It was so awesome! They are a great live band. I'll have the review soon, I need to find the set list somewhere. And it just so happened that I went to to TJ Maxx and saw that they were hiring. Finally some place to work! So I picked up an application and am returning it tomorrow. Wish me luck. But my hopes aren't high cause I'm not expecting anything. I have zero retail experience...well zero work experience for that matter lol. Hmm yeah I don't have much else to say. School is coming soon, pictures even sooner and I have a big zit. It's one of those under the skin pimples *shudders* WHY do I always get them before pictures, why?!? It's happened every year for the past 3 years or something haha. Hopefully the size will go down soon. I can't believe summer is basically over. It's gone by waaaay too fast for my liking. The most exciting thing I did was see John Mayer and 3 Doors Down in concert lol. Ha yeah, the exciting life of Ashley.

God I swear blogger is retarded. I want to get rid of this thing but I don't know what else to use....I liked greymatter but I never understood how install it myself haha. ARG and so is hotmail. It keeps saying "Server too busy." BUSY MY ASS. Alkjashf. Hey guess what? I'm a part of the Offcial Hanosn Street Team for Oregon haha. I posted flyers around town today, hopefully that will sell at least one ticket. And if you want, you can by a ticket here cause I know you want to see Hanson in Portland *wink*.

Nothing too exciting happening here. Ooh wait, what am I saying? Katie and I almost got into some crapola the other day. We went shopping downtown and her mom just happened to be in the area when Katie needed directions to a dance shop. I wasn't supposed to be with her since her 6 months isn't up. And when she was on the phone with her mom she reailzed that she was almost out of gas. Then her mom insisted in coming down to see her. I ran into a nearby shop and stayed there for about 10 minutes before Katie was able to come pcik me up. The lady in the store thought I was going to steal something haha. She was so suspicious of me. Yeah, like I am going to steal a swatch of frabric you idiot! Anyway I had to stay ducked in the backseat until we got out of downtown. I was in the worst position lol. It was greaaat. But if Katie's mom would've found out she was driving with me they would've taken her license away until her 6 months were up. Hotmail is still being a bitch. Ahh I need a real computer desk, my back is killing me. I'm sitting ont he floor with my laptop proped on the box in came in haha. It just screams COMFROT! Ha nooo.

I'm on my new laptop and DSL right :). It is so awesome! You guys should see it..lalalala. I got my schedule the other day and they gave me NO electives. Wtf? My school is retarded! And I don't think I have a lot of clases with my friends either. Eh oh well. I am getting my hair cut today. I'm thinking of shaving it all off, GI Jane style haha. Just kidding. I'll probably do the same thing I always do, cut a couple inches off the bottom and taper it in the front. I would do something more wild but I have a new problems, 1. I don't know WHAT I would do and 2. I got a horrible hair cut in 6th grade (think Brady Bunches' mom *shudders*) and ever since I am scared to do anything drastic. I don't have a desk for my laptop yet and the bottom on it gets really warm so my legs are buring lol. I don't have much to say so I will stop writing and boring youto death.

I really want to see "Le Divorce" only because I like the song at the end of the preview haha. Shut up, it's cool. I got my Portland ticket for Hanson today :). I accidently chose to print them out on my computer instead of having them shipped. So I had to call and get that all straightened out. The first lady I talked to was such a beeotch. But then the second guy was very nice and curteous. My laptop should be getting here anyday now! I can't wait to get on it and put all my crap on there. I can do anything I want with it cause it's miiiiine. It's gonna be a bitchin' laptop, yo LOL. I'm going to call it "Lil' 15-incher". ha Don't ask...I just had a smoothie earlier and all the natural sugar is going to my head heeehe.

And I hate this new blogger design/system. Everytime I go to publish it keeps refreshing forever *hits blogger*. Thank you Becca and Mez for commenting.

I think my friend Tiffany has been brainwashed by a religious cult...seriously. The past 5 months or so she has been really into going to chruch and being religious. Up until a few days ago I thought it was all fine and dandy and I could care less...now she has totally changed her belief system in an instant. It's like she is going along with the other people at school because they believe it too and also because she has been brainwashed (I'm convinced). Tiffany is never going to date until she marries. She believes that when she finds the right guy, God will tell her because this guy will have everything she wants in a man. She won't even HANG OUT with a guy on a one and one basis. She was obligated to hang out with Anthony and was trying to drag me along because she can't/does't want to hang out with just a guy and her. I just told her I didn't want to because I don't want to be USED. I reeeaaally don't want to be her "fair weather friend" for this stupid religious belief. I'm not going to be and if she begs me to go next time I am going to tell her how I feel. I mean, I don't really care if she is very Christian but when it comes to this...I mean COME ON! I can understand the dating part but not the hanging out part, especially if it envolves using me. And it is just a freaking guy! He is not going to kill you. We used to be good friends but now I can see that going down the drain because frankly I don't want to hang out with a person who is crazy like that. It's just no fun. That's why I've never really been interested in being regligious. I don't agree with a lot of their beliefs, how they treat situations, what they do, etc. It's actually kind of scary how much Tiffany has changed and become a brainwashed follower.

OOooh guess what? I got a Seattle ticket for Hanson! The next thing coming up is the pre-sale on the 13th for Portland. I have to get a tickt to that. We also ordered my new laptop yesterday! My own computer..yay :). Thank you to all who've commented on the past couple of entires and have signed the guestbook.

Oh crap, I deleted my whole entry I just wrote. Grrr. I haven't blogged in a while for some reason...sorry! Anyway, since Katie got her license we have been driving around a little. We went to pick up a movie the other night and cruise around to other places. At 10:30 we stopped by Christina's just to say hi. We stood at her driveway flailing our arms trying to get her attention without making any noise. It onviously wasn't working so we looked for a rock to throw at the window haha. All of the sudden her Dad walks into the room and we were like "Oh crap!" and took a run for it. We were craking up so hard by the time we stopped. Then after two or so more times of driving by her house, she still didn't see us lol. Jason left Phantom Planet. That sucks because they were a great band. I wonder what they are going to do now?

Look what Cheryl gave me! Isn't she the best? :)

HANSON:
Portland - Sept.9th
Seattle - Sept. 10th
OOOHH YEAH BABY! You know were I'll be then! *dances*

I got my "bed in a bag" set up the other day and it looks so awesome, my room feels complete and comfy now. With school approaching, I've been thinking about the next couple of years a lot. They are going to be so stressful--national exams, senior project, college plans, etc. The PSAT'S are in October and do I have a clue what they are about? No. I should start studying soon. With all this going on it is making me feel like I have to grow up to fast, and I really don't want to. But I do at the same time. Maybe I am just sad that my childhood is leaving and I'm moving into a new stage in life. *waves goodbye to carefree life*

After I got my top wisdom teeth out a couple of months ago, I wanted to let them heal properly so I didn't wear my retainer. Oooh that was a bad idea. My teeth started moving and my retainer doesn't fit properly. I've been wearing it nonstop lately so get them back into place but it's not working very well. There are a little spaces between the two teeth right next to my front ones and other places. And erh, I don't know what to do because I can't tell my parents would flip since they spent so much money on my braces. I didn't think that they would move like this because I've had my braces off for a couple of years. Hopefully they'll get back into place soon! lol I finally got the Maroon 5 CD (yay for gift certificates). Ah it rocks! I suggest that you buy it. Thank you to everyone who has commented the past couple entires: Anna, Sez (go visit her new domain!), Lillian and Mez. Much love! And I can't forget Cheryl for signing the gbook :).

New layout! If things don't seem to look right, try refreshing to view the "new" stuff. I also updated to contents. My family birthday party was yesterday and I got a whole load of stuff! Tons of clothes, bath stuff, candles, shoes, a new bedspread, etc. Then my Grandma gave me $1000 towards a computer! I had no idea this was going to happen. So I am getting a NEW laptop. Eeeee I am so excited! We went down to the Mac store to look at it today. Oh my god, it is just so freakin cool. I am going to have my very own computer *back flips*. We are going to order it pretty soon. I was looking through all of my entries ealier....time flies. My life is going by so fast. It's kind of scary. And I have to remind everyone again, my birthday is now tomorrow! I can't believe I am going to be 16. Oh and the 80's move "16 Candles" was on today. What a weird coincidence.

My birthday in 3 days, everyone! What are you planning to get me? :D I'd really like to see a Hanson show but noooo they aren't coming here. Hopefully they will soon or else I am going to kick some Hanson arse! I don't have much to talk about. New layout and updates soon. I am going to the beach for my birthday--a day of sun duning, eating seafood (fish and chips...yum) and walking along the beach. Hopefully Tiff can come along and maybe we'll get into the water again so it looks like we peed our pants haha. While I was driving back home today there were no other sunglasses in my aunt's car so I had to wear these "emergency" pairs she had. They were so huge! It was like clown glasses meet bug eyes hahaha. I was feeling pretty cool 'n hip ;) lol.

I found the coolest shoe botique today. They actually have cute flats and "almost flats", unlike the department stores. And not all of their schoes have 4" heels like the ones I find at the mall. Finally a place that has good shoes! *dances* But they are a little expensive. One day, one day, I will have enough money to buy a nice pair of shoes. Ooh or maybe I could work there and get a discount. Like they'd hire some crazed 15 year old haha *runs around in circles with shoes packed tightly under the arms*. No wait! Almost 16 year old. My birthday is in 8 days! What are you planning to get me? *grin* I am feeling a little weird today. It probably is the sun and all that sugar in the Slurpee I had earlier. *does back flips* WEEEEEEEE!

Thank you Mez for commenting! She has a wonderful new layout so go check that out. Now I am off to visit other blogoramas! Heh new word, meaning a blog with pazazz. I'm not sure if that is how you spell pazazz...it reminds me of jazz which also reminds me of jazzerscise. Which is a very funny concept haha and the name always makes me laugh. (Note to self: I need help! "Help is on the way dear, help is on the way!" -Mrs.Doubtfire)

I bought a very cute khaki skirt from Old Navy today that actually fits me really good. It's not to often that I find a skirt like that...so I'm happy! I got my John Mayer pics yesterday. I am a little disappointed because they look further away then we really were. But the one of Christina, Scotty and I turned out great (although my hair looks a little funny lol). I'll scan some of the good ones and post them when I'm not lazy :).

Only one more time volunteering and I'm done for the summer! *dances* I'm glad because it is sooo boring. I just sit there, read, draw and play legoes. It is fun for about ummm..a minute. Wildfires are burning near us. It is really freaky because I can see the huge plumes of smoke in the air. And this time all the fires in our state have been man made! Stupid people! *shakes fist at dumb campers*

My John Mayer review can be found here, then follow the links. The concert friggin ROCKED! He totally blew my socks off. He is just amazing and so talented. He played some of my faves; Neon, Something's Missing and 3x5. If you ever have a chance to John in concert....go!! His new CD is coming out Sept. 9th, btw. :D And I found that they didn't care about the cameras until after I snuck them in by putting them in my pants and cover it with a sweatshirt haha. So I got some good pics! Those will be up soon, I need to get the rest of the second roll taken and then delvelop it. I also meet John's tour manager, "Scotty the hottie" hehe. He is so nice (and good lookin').

My mom is in this crazy frenzy because we are throwing a wedding shower for my cousin tomorrow. The past few weeks EVERYTHING has been about this stupid shower and I am sick of hearing about it. She even asked me what clipboad she should bring! Umm hello, figure that out for yourself. It is like she is trying to live up to someone's expectations and prove that she has no flaws. I don't understand her sometimes.

Thank you Cheryl, Lillian and Mez for commenting, and Julie and Aaron for signing the lonely gbook! :) No time to visit blogs today...next entry maybe. And hopefully a new layout featuring John with some of the pics I took.

John Mayer tomorrow! *dances* I'm going to have to find a way to sneak a camera in. My Dad suggested I should stick it under my arm pit haha. I'd be like, "Here is my ticket sir," while holing one arm securily to one side! lol Holy moly I'm so tired. I didn't get much sleep last night and then I had to work up early this morning for some volunteer work I'm required to do for school. There is this one guy who works there and he is so cute. He reminds me of Nick Lachey from 98°, except half punk and not as ripped. But damn he is fiiine....and in college *sigh*. And his earings make him look so much hotter. Ok I must stop now. I'm off to comment on other people's blogs! I'm hoping to get a new layout up soon.

I was watching a show on the Egyptian pyramids earlier and it is so interesting. That part of history really intrigues me for some reason. And I do believe in the curses that were put on the tombs. I don't think any of the deaths at illnesses at the excavation sites were just coincidences, they were really the ancient Egyptian curses put on those who ever disturbed the tombs. And plus and I don't think it's right that they are taking these famous rulers and exploiting them all around the world in big cities (just one more reason why there have been so many deaths involving these pyramids). How would you like it if someone disturbed your grave after millions of years of peace and being wrapped in cloth (hehe..)? I would be a little pissed. *nods* So don't be disturbin' my grave, yo! hahaha

I fixed my CD player that was broken. *grin* The second deck was refusing to come out and it screwed everything else up. Pushing random buttons really does work! Thank you to everyone who commented last entry. You guys rock!

I'm so wrapped up in Hanson right now. All this excitement for the tour, new pictures and songs is making me go crazy. I NEED TOUR DATES NOW. And they must come to Oregon! But then when the tour dates are announced I'm so going to crap my pants haha. I hanven't been this ungulfed in Hanson since three years ago when their last album came out. I'm seriously going crazy waiting for these stupid tour dates to be posted. Enough about Hanson because I know you don't want me to babble on about them.

If you live in the Oregon/Washington area and want to see John Mayer on July 10th at the Clark County Ampitheatre, purchase tickets here. It's going to be an awesome show..so go! I also updated the contents so you are just going to have to click that little contents link to your top right to see what I did. There is going to be a new layout soon too. I am tired of looking at this one. I've yet to design one though...


Thank you Amiee! Have a Happy 4th too. :) That reminds me...I need to get some fireworks.

Woah, this is freaking me out man...Blogger redesigned everything. I hope none of my crap got messed or up. Anyway! Go get Michelle Branch's "Hotel Paper"! It rocks and I've been listening to it non-stop. This CD is a little more mellow than the last and I love everything about it. The lyrics are "sentimental" and I can relate to so many of her songs. I luff it and you will too. So go buy it....or else you will have to mess with the concequences *slips on boxing gloves*. I also created a small little skirmish at the Michelle Branch Message Board hehe. Go check it out (note: I'm brachingout). Yes I'm proud of myself for speaking my mind and letting my PMS get to me haha. I also get Rooney's new CD, titled "Rooney". And that one also knocked my pants off. So there is my second recomendation for today. :)

There are some weird garage sale junkies running lose in this crazy world. I never knew they could be so umm...mentally unstable until the other day when I helped my parents with one we had. This lady came speeding up into our drive way and parked about two inches away from our garage. I thought she was going to drive into our garage at full speed! haha The first hour was full of people buying our junk but the rest of the enredibly long 6 hours was a bore. I went to pick strawberries today. I love real strawberries! The ones from grocery stores are usually not that good.

I don't see why so many people are criticizing VH1's Top 100 Songs of the Past 25 Years. Yeah some of them suck but the majority are really good pieces of work that've changed music. I love the comment Zac Hanson made on Lenny Kravitz's "Are you gonna go my way?", "It just makes you wanna....be black with dreads." Ok well I thought it was funny becuase Zac is just funny and plain hot. And god damnit I love Hanson! Yes laugh all you want. But I just heard some of their new music and holy crap, I love them even more. They are so talented and don't get the credit they deserve because people think they are still all 12 with long hair and look like girls. Um yeah, that is not the case now and I'm typing really fast right now, just to let you know.

And thank you to the three awesome chicas who commented: Kathy, Amiee and Mez.

I reccomend that you not see "Hollywood Homicide". The only good part of it was Josh Hartnett and the last 20 mimutes of the movie. The rest was so boring and I was sitting there thinking, "When is this moving going to end?" So afterwards Tiff, Sara, Anthony and I went back to his house and just hung out and talked. It was mostly just me and him talking and occasionaly Sara. I felt bad for Tiffany, it looked like she was pissed off and not having a good time. I've been trying to call her to see what was wrong but she's not been home. You know what cracks me up? The "Mrazda" in Jason Mraz's "The Remedy" video. Everytime I see it I laugh so hard. I dunno why, it's just really funny. Mrazda...hahaha.

I almost choked to death the other night. Usually when I choke I can still breathe but this time I was coughing and gasping for air but nothing was moving through my lungs. My mom had to do the Heimlich maneuver on me. It is the scariest feeling not being able to breathe. *shudders* I never want to have to experience that again.

::sings:: I am sick, sick. So very sick, sick. ::ends singing:: Ha yeeeah, why is it that I have to be sick? My nose is beyond stuffy and I have to blow it every 5 seconds. And it hurts because it's rubbed raw. I don't want to stay up all night blowing my nose like I did last night. I actually want to SLEEP. Who ever gave me this crap should be hit.....many times. Oo, I just sneezed and it cleared my nasal passages. I CAN BREATHE! Scratch that, it was on a temporary relief.

Now that schools out I don't have much to talk/complain about. There has to be something because I don't want to bore you guys even more that I already do! haha Well I checked and there's nothing. Yes I know I'm fast. Speed racer! Thanks Sez for leaving a comment and to everyone who has signed my guestbook lately. Much appreciated. :)

So my summer vacation has started and I'm already bored. I also managed to catch a cold--sore throat and cough. Yay, perfect timing...not. I think the girl I sat next to in math give it to me. Grrr. I haven't really done anything so far. Just sat around, watched TV, talked on the phone and went on the computer. I need to do stuff with friends! I wanted to the night we got out of school but everyone was already busy.

I wonder when the sunny weather will return? I miss it already. Thanks Wingyee and Amiee for commenting.

One more day left of school....then I'm free for 3 months! "I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it. I know, I know, I know that I want you." I think that's how the song goes haha. I bought this really crappy 89 cent eye liner and BI-Mart today. I don't really know why lol. It was just kind of funny and cheap so I got it. The people at BI-Mart probably think we're weird (and theives--they follow us around and give us weird looks....yeah, like we're gonna steal something from BI-Mart of all places) because we go in there like 3 times a week at the same time. But hey, there's nothing else to do during our free period. I saw the hottest guy today and I thought be had to at least be a sophmore but nooo, he is a freshman haha. But I don't care, he is still good lookin'! I bit the side of my cheek 3 times when I was eating lunch...I amaze myself sometimes.

I updated the contents so you're just going to have to take a peak at it. AND thank you Mez for this awesome fan sign (I haven't gotten one in forever, so if you'd like to give me one that would be very nice):

You're welcome for everything...I <3 you Mezzie!

It is so hot in here. Give me a mini fridge so I can stick my head in it! lol My parents don't want to put the air conditioning on because we are going to be gone this weekend. We have gradution parties and relatives birthday's to go to. Fun, fun, fun. And last night there was absolutely no breeze so my room was frickin hot. I got the cutest swim suit yesterday. And hey, what'd ya know....it's purple (I love purple). I also got my hair cut. It's basically a trim, but it's a little something different and plus I needed all the split ends chopped off. They styled it with a flat iron and it looked really good. I tryed to mimic it this morning with a curling iron but yeah....that didn't work out too well.

I feel horrible. Tiff wanted me to ask Anthony if he liked her and he said "No, I've never thought of her that way. That's weird. Why'd you ask?" And ever since then he has been acting weird and not flitry with Tiff. I hope that things go back to normal because I feel so bad since I made this happen. He was flirting with me today at lunch and I was thinking "No, no! Flirt with Tiffany! She is sitting right next to you." But obviously he didn't get my telapathic wavs lol. And thanks to the two lovely ladies, Mez and Amiee for commenting.

Only 7 more days of school left. Wooohoo! I can't wait. I cannot believe this year is almost over, it's gone by so fast. But during the summer I get to sleep in, relax and not worry about homework at all. And later on this week it is going to be high 80's and low 90's. Yeeeaah. We usually don't get that kind of weather around here. Warm weather is fun and it makes me feel happy. I'm so loving in a warm climate when I'm older. Today I came home and realized there was something on my butt and at first I thought it was a period stain and I was like, "Great! That's just what I needed." But then I looked closer and it was green....some kind of grass stain. The weird thing is, I wasn't sitting in grass at all today. ha I wonder how long I walked around with that crap on my butt?

Unpdates in the contents later on in the week--I'm too lazy to do them now lol. I didn't realize the text was going crazy for so many people. Sorry guys! Thanks Lillian, Sez, Amiee and Mandy for commenting. :)

It's sunny again! I love the warm weather, it seems to warm my soul (or something strange like that). I can't wait for summer vacation. I'm hoping this one will be different. I want to get out and do more. Have fun, I guess! I'm taking driver's ed too, that should be a blast. *groan* I've also given up hope for a job this summer. No one is hiring, and it's just not worth my time even if they were hiring because I have no experience. I'll wait until later next school year when I've done some community service so I have a couple refrences, experience, etc.

I fixed the text so it doesn't go sprawling to the other side of the page like it did for some people. So hopefully it works for you Mez! *crosses fingers* I don't think as many people visit here as they used to like way back in the day. I probably scared them all off. *throws head back and laughs evily* Buwhahaha! hehe I'm weird. Thanks Amiee, Mez and Wingyee for commenting.

I don't think my life can become any more stupid. Tiff, Anthony and I went to see Bruce Almighty last night (which by the way was hilarious--I suggest you go see it). Since I usually don't hang out with guys after school, my parents flipped. After I got home they lectured me like it was some huge, mega-disasterous deal. It is just a freaking guy! They went on about how, "We don't even know him. If you are going places with him than we need to sit down and have a little chit-chat with him and really get to know him. We need to know any guy before you hang around them. We condsider what you just went on a date and we think you are too young for that." Wtf? I am almost 16 and I'd understand where you are coming from if I was actually this guy's GIRLFRIEND not FRIEND. Then they started getting into how I am going to take a self-defense class this summer if I am going to be "dating" because it will "serve me for the rest of my life". I swear my mom was going to shit her pants because she was so frustrated and angry. I hate how my parents treat me like I'm their little girl who is 2 years old, not independent, helpless, ingnorant and like I don't know how to handle myself. My parents have always been way over protective and act like everything is a big deal. I want my parents to be NORMAL. Nobody's parents in the right mind would want to sit down and talk to their daughter's guy FRIENDS. Normal parents just meet them and say Hi and that's really it. None of my friend's parents act like guy friends are a big deal and don't care if they meet them. And definitely none of my friend's parents are making me take a fucking self-defense class. Why can't my parents be normal and not crazy-minded insane prision guards? I'm never going to be over protective of my kids...protective but not over the top. I can't wait to get out of this house. I'll be free from the gates of my parents and their STUPID rules.

The comments are being uncooperative and won't let me view them, so thanks to everyone who has commented over the past few days.

Today went from bad to worse. Although lunch wasn't too bad, the rest of my day was a rotten egg. It actually started last night when I started to get really pissed off from what happened earlier that day. Anthony and Dale couldn't stop making fun of how white I am. I know they were joking but it started to piss me off...like I don't know I'm white already! Then Anthony was like, "I love you!" Ha yeah, that didn't work. My dad even commented on how white I am. And I was thinking, "Thanks, like I haven't heard that 50 billion times already." So back to today. I woke up and my leg hurt; then I had a blister from the flip flops I wore the day before; I couldn't get the juice bottle open, so I went to reach for the milk but it wasn't there (it turned out my mom left it in the car like I suspected); I go to school only to see thee bug the crap put of me; I am in a bad mood the whole day and no one notices except one person who end up laughs at my minor problems; then 4th I couldn't take Katie's snootyness anymore. She was getting so mad at the fact that other people on her cheer team only care about theirselves and I'm like "Helloooo! You're one of them!" She just follows the crowd like a lost child. The anger kept building up inside of me and I ignored everyone and no one seemed to notice. Not even and "Are you OK?" Nothing. Boy I have real quality friends that like to reach a hand out to others that are really hurting. I know this doesn't seem like a lot but the way my mind is wired, it is. All this "drama" and the thoughts that race through my head clutter my mind like an over-flowing trash can, and doesn't make for a very emotionaly balanced Ashley. I'm going to be glad when school's out.

Oh no, the curse of Dale has fallen upon me again. Now that he has broken up with his freshman girlfriend he is all over me. Today he was like, "I should give you a back massage sometime. I'm so good at them people have even paid me before!" Then he started to rub my back and said, "That one was on the house." And as I was leaving the classroom he was blocking my way out with his open arms for a hug, so I had no choice, I had to give him a hug. Now if he didn't creep me out then I wouldn't mind this and I'd definitely take advantage of the situation. But this isn't so, he simply creeps me! lol

I haven't heard from one of my best friends (who lives in a different state) in over 4 months. None of her emails are working either. And I think she would have told me if she changed it. I wonder what's wrong? I'll call her this weekend. Hopefully she is not mad at me or something bad happened to her. At this point it doesn't look like she's coming down since we lost contact. Hmm..like I said. I'll call her. Awesome commenters: Sarah, Amiee, Sez

I'm very ashamed of myself--I listened to the Spice Girls for the first time in over 5 years today, and the worst part is....I actually ejoyed. "Why?" you must be asking. I asked myself the same question and I came to the conculsion that it brought back so many childhood memories and good times. I listened to it because I needed something upbeat and fun to work out to. I had a blast dancing to it on the treadmill, "Stop right now thank you very much I need somebody with a human touch Hey you always on the run gotta slow it down baby gotta have some fun". Oooh and then I washed my face with REAL face wash since two years ago. I used Tazorac cream for my pimples all that time and I couldn't stand the side effects any longer; the occasional redness, dryness and sesitivity to sun. I'm going to see what happens and if it seems like I need to go back on the ance cream then I will (unfortunately).

Thank you everyone for commenting :D. I also added Wingyee to my almost dailies list. I forgot to add her the last time I updated it. And speaking of updating, I need to update some of the contents. But that is all in store for next time (be excited)! I burned the Moulin Rouge soundtrack from Mary. It is so good. I love that movie too...such a good love story. "All you need is love. All you need is love. All you need loooove. I was made for loving you baby and you were made for lovin me." *sigh* I'm such a hopeless romantic.

This week has been awesome so far. It's good because I really needed it. Anthony is a lot of fun to hang out with. And he is one of the main reasons why these past couple of days have been so great (aww). I always find myself laughing and smiling when I'm with him. He just has that charm I guess lol.

I was out in the sun too long yeesterday and got burnt. And it just had to be that I was wearing a teeshirt so now I have this awesome farmers burn (no, not a tan) haha. I got a little sun on my face too, and there is a very abrupt line between the red and the white on the bridge of my nose were my sunglasses sat. Good one Ash! *pats self on back* The lesson of this story is to wear sunscreen at all times while out in the sun. Thanks Sez and Amiee for commenting. :) Well I am off to fix the ever-retarded blogger so it will show more than one entry, and to visit everyone's sites.

A good cry helps just about anything. All the crap that has been piling up, emotionally, phyically, mentally, etc., finally over flowed and I couldn't take it anymore. I broke down in tears and let it all out. I was (and still am) so fucking tired of everything, the people around me and the shit they carry around. I couldn't stand my dad's self-centeredness anymore, the fact that he thinks he is never wrong, and that the world and every other single freaking thing should be about him. I hate the way he is such a hypocrite and how he never views the other side of the arguement, which is totally valid. Agh! I just don't like how he thinks everything has to revolve around him and that if something in his work goes wrong is was "definitely not his fault and the other people were out to screw him." Then he complains about how late he has to work. The problem would be solved if he wouldn't spend the whole freaking day looking up internet porn!

And Friday next my mom was being so unreasonable. Sara and I wanted to go to this dance club since it was High School night and so many people were going. But she said I couldn't go because "she didn't know anything about this place and wants me to take some sort of self-defense if I went there." I was like screw that! That is the lamest excuse I've ever heard. Can't she just treat me my own age and not like some stupid and helpless 2 year old? I know how to carry my own weight and it is just a retarded dance club for God's sakes! She is way too over protective. I don't want to be chained to a fucking wall anymore. I need to get out of this place...I need freedom!

Sara and I ended up going to a movie Friday night and we had SO much fun. We were going to see the Xman movie but it was sold out so we saw Bullerproof Munk instead. It actually turned out to be a really good movie and Sean William Scott is very, very hot. :) Since we had a litle extra time before the movie we walked around the mall and found this huge window looking out into a busy parking lot. We started to model and show off our sexay little bods. It was so hilarous and we had such a blast. All these people were looking at us from outside too. We are so weird when we get together. That is why I like hanging out with Sara, she doesn't care what people think of her and we always end up having so much fun.

I screwed up blogger and it's only showing one entry (for me at least) and everything below it doesn't show up. I'll try to fix that one way or another.

I've been trying to find time to get on the computer long enough to write an entry but my dad has constantly been on it. We need two computers! Maybe instead of saving up for a car when I get a job I should save up for a computer lol. I'm eating tortilla chips...mmm yum. And I just got crums all over the place. Before I forget--commenters: Xinhui, Lillian, Mez and Sez. I also added Amiee and Xinhui to my dailies. :)

Anthony has been so cute lately. I don't want to like him but it's so hard not to. He is just so adorable and flirty sometimes that I can't help not to like him. And Tiffany totally loves him. She's really clingy with him. And not to mention that she is all over him, she thinks she is all that, now since she has been hanging out with different people. Katie is fake and now Tiffany. What is this world coming to? If I ever get like they do I hope somebody slaps me.

I'd love to get out of this place. Just leave everyone all of this crap behind. Start a new life and a new identity. I can't wait to leave...be free and love! haha But then I think that it wouldn't be any better, "...my friends are just like the "friends" I had in school - they're no better, no more mature or understanding or friendly. It's all the same shit, just new faces and names," it would be exactly like Tara explained. All I know is that I want a change. Please, someone move my cheese!

I got John Mayer tickets! On the floor, center section, isle P (which is a little beyond the half way mark in the section). YAY! They sound like they are some pretty good seats and it will be really nice since it's an outdoor venue. Well it should be for almost $50 a ticket. But it will be worth it, so no complaints. :) When I got there around 9am there were only a couple people there and the rest were for wrestling tickets haha. I was the 4th person in line out of 7 (if you count the people who were together). If anyone's interested in going, it's July 10th at the Clark County Amphitheater in Ridgefield, Washington (get tickets). I still have to find someone to drag along with me but that shouldn't be too hard.

Hmm..I don't have much else to say. I haven't really done a lot this weekend except pick up a million jop applications and buy the tickets. Thanks to Xinhui, Aimee and Mez for commenting. I have an old rock song stuck in my head, "So here I go again on my own. I'm going down the only road I've ever known..."

This year has gone by extremely fast....only a month and two weeks left of school. Woot! This week has been so good. I've felt so relaxed and comfortable around everyone. I can act like myself and not feel constricted. It's such a great feeling. I'm actually enjoying school a little bit more. And the weather is getting really nice. Ahhh...summer. I tried to get a tan the other day. Errh, that didn't quite work. I think I'm permately white. But there's nothing wrong with a great layer of white skin lol. :) John Mayer tickets go on sale Saturday at 10 AM. I hope I'm the first person there and get good seats. Oh second thought, it might be general admission haha. Either way I'm gonna get good seats, damn right. I have to find somebody to come with me too. Speaking of John Mayer, there is this guy at my school who looks like him only hotter. I see him around all the time. I really should start talking to this guy, I'd be for my own good lol. Thanks to all the awesome people who signed the guestbook and commented. :)

New layout! :D I enhanced the image above by fooling around with the hues. Personally I think it turned out awesome. I'd like to thank Sez and Mez for sending me Easter greetings. Yes I know, I'm a little late on my thank you but I just checked my email.

I'm getting so annoyed and disgusted with some things that are going on. I hate how Katie constantly ingnores me. She purposely says away from me and avoids eye contact. The other day I walked right by her and decided not to say anything to see what she would do...and she didn't even do anything. I knew she saw me because I almost walked right into her. Then in the library yesterday, I was sitting with some of my friends and she was sitting with some of hers but did she say anything? No. And I saw her glancing over at me too. What a bitch. You DON'T treat people like that. There is no reason why she should be doing this because I have not done anything. She is just becoming a stuck up bitch who thinks she is better than everyone else. So I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine and ingnore her. But it's not like she'd notice anyway. And it is like she uses me only to tell me what has been going on between her and Garrett. She has changed so much. Everyone has noticed it...even my mom lol! I'm glad that we are falling apart as friends because I don't need her crappy friendship or her crappy personality. So ha. She also did this to one of my other friends a few years ago, so it's not like it's something new.

This week has gone by so fast. It seems like it is only Wednesday. My mom and I went to Bath and Body works today and we got such a good deal. Everything we got would've cost $46 but we got it for $26. Yeah that's what I'm talkin about! I've called a handfull of places so far about "summer job opportunites" and most of them are saying, "Well...you can pick up a job application." Ok THAT gives me a lot of information..not! So I guess I'll just have to fill out a million applications and get turned down a million times lol. You guys should give me tips on where to work because I can't think. Mandy was talking about homemade brownies, and I want some.

THANK YOU to everyone who commented and signed the guestbook, smooches! On second thought...hugs lol. I really have nothing else to say. New layout this weekend. And I feel a rant coming on...but that is all for next time folks. ;)

Earth to God! I need some information on you. Once again I come online to work on homework and end up doing something totally unrelated to school work. How hard it is to find out info about God? Obviouslly it is very difficult, for me at least. I found a some page saying, "Hi, I'm God. How are you? Get out of my way!" Some people are weird and have too much time on their hands (like myself). I was walking to class today and some girl tripped and fell and started yelling, "Ahhh! My bad knee! By bad knee!" She made quite a seen. Yes, that was my exciting day. I think I'm getting sick too...oh joy! Since I'm bored, here is my Cyborg name:



I'm limited to yardwork? *smacks self* I can invision my future now....stooped over plucking the dead flower off the pansies and rhodies. Anyway, thank you Tricia for being the first person to sign the ever lonely guestbook. Much appreciated!

Yesterday's wisdom teeth extraction was quite an experience compared to last time. They novacaned the roof of my mouth and it hurt like a bitch! It's way worse than on the gums. So I am sitting in the chair while they're doing the precedure and I'm getting very hot wearing a shirt, a zip-up hoodie and this blue cotton paper they put all over me. After it is done I feel really weird and as I'm walking to the scheduling area to schedule my post-surgery appointment, things start to get really fuzzy and gradually darker. I run into the drinking fountain and then the wall because I am barely see anything since I'm on the verge of fainting. They sit my in a chair and in a few minites I'm back to normal. It was so scary because I've never (almost) passed out before lol. But there is one good thing--my cheeks are hardly even swollen! WOOHOO! I'm not chimpmunk cheeks this time. I want some soup right now.

I found the perfect picture for a new layout. I enhanced and fooled with the colors a little bit. It should be up in the next couple of weeks or so. Oh and go visit my good online buddies Laura and Miranda's new Rooney domain, Mastedonia.com. It rocks so you should go visit it...now! Thanks Sez, Mez and Wingyee for commenting. You guys rock too. :)

I've been eating so much chocolate lately. It's really bad for me but it's soo good that I can't resist! I get my top wisdom teeth out this Friday. I'm not looking forward to this again--the popping of the skin for the novacane that had a bigger needle then the ones used for cavitiy fillings; the pain of the needle in my gums; the drilling; the crack of the tooth; the gauze that I have to change every two seconds; the swelling/chimpmunk cheeks; the brusing. Oh god I'm glad this is the last time I'll ever have to get this done!

My life is so weird. I just go through it in a daze especially at school. My life has been changing so much, well not me but my friends actually. I have nobody who I can confide in and trust. If I had anybody like that so many things wouldn't be buzzing around in my screwy mind. I need to spill my guts to a good friend to make my mind, body and soul free the crap spinning around in my head. I used to have a few close friends who I really thought were the greatest. But they changed, became snobby and untrustworthy and generaly people who I didn't want to be around. There are some people who I know I could trust but don't see very often so I can't get close to them. I know I can change it and I will. But it is easter said than done. Hugs to Cheryl, Sez and Mez.

Last night's dance was so fun. It was the best dance this year, by far. I'm not sure what made it so fun, but I was just able to let loose and enjoy myself. Three other of my friends like Anthony now. It's weird because we all have this mutual liking for him. I don't like him enough to do anything about though. For me it's hard to be friends with a guy and not like him just a little bit. Ah oh well, it is just Anthony. Tiff and I just saw "Anger Management" and it was so funny! A little weird though. Adam Sandler is cute in a dorky way but I like dorky guys. :) "You're gonna have to retard your anger a little bit." haha That was a great line!

I figured out that if my friend Katie doesn't get any nicer and stops walking around with her nose up then I am going to give her a piece of my mind. And god damnit I am going to tell it like it is lol. I dunno where our friendship will go after that but I just can't handle her snotty, two-faced personality anymore. Ever since she started hanging out with the stupid popular people she thinks she is better than everyone else. Screw that! I'll have a talk with her and see if I can set her mind straight again.

I finally got all of the contents up yesterday. So I guess I am officially open (be afriad, be very afraid)! Ah I have been hurting myself lately. I have 3+ bruises on one leg and probably more are forming right now. haha I've been so clutzy the past few days. I also am having proubles typing/thinking today. And I have a pimple in my ear. I hate those. I just hate my skin. It is so oily and never fails to stop producing oil. Tomorrow is the last day of Photography. :( I am going to miss that class, but I'll have a good class replacing that. I'm re-designing the school's art department webpage.

So wow, they think Saddam is possibly dead. I have a hard time believing them because that is what they said last time. Baghdad has basically fallen, "Saddam Hussein loses control of the Iraqi capital, as looting breaks out amid scenes of jubilation at the US takeover," (source). I still have my doubts, or maybe they are worries. Who knows, they might take out their nukes and bomb the hell out of us. My mind is still open to all possibilites, never shall you block out the zen. *hummm...hummm..* haha Yeah I dunno what that was about but that's ok! Soon all this war crap will be over and the Iraqi people will live without fear. Merci to Mez, Lillian, Sez and Alicia for commenting. We were watching a video is history about Israel and Palestine and the US has commercialized so much around the world (unfortunately) that Israel even has a "Subway", the sandwhich place. Hmm just something to think about.

I just cleaned by bathtub. One word: DISGUSTING. There was so much hair down the drain...oh god, ew. I had to take all of it out. The globs of hair were all smlimy with shampoo, conditioner and water scum, ranging from grey, white to black. That is just wrong! The massive amount of hair was plugging the drain pretty bad and eventhough I got a lot out and it's still clogged. Maybe Mr."Roter Rooter" will have to make a visit to my bathtub lol. My mom wants me to take a "self defense" class. Umm...no. It would be different if she wasn't make me do it haha. It would probably would be fun and a good work out but I dunno. Thanks Lillian (hopefully you can find a jm lover soon) and Mez (of course I won't forget you when I get rich ;D) for commenting. I'm off to do homework (oh joy)...