It just so happens that I picked out the juiciest, ripest, most delicious pineapple EVER on the face of the earth. Slicing this succulent tropical fruit of the gods (if its not a fruit of the gods, then shame on them), my mouth waters in anticipation. I let out a loud orgasmic "MMMmmm!!" as the sugary goodness melts in my mouth. With each proceeding bite, a delightful feeling overwhelms my body as more "mmmmm"s unconsciously escape. I do a little thispineappleisdeliciousi'msofuckinghappy dance and decide at that very moment that pineapple is one of the most amazing fruits ever.

A bout of loneliness has swept over me this past week. I haven't felt alone like this in a while. So many people depend on me, I'm tired and worn of helping and listening to others babble on about their problems or good fortune. It seems like everyone is too caught up in their own issues to ask how I am. I have all this love that I want to share with someone but no one to share it with. I'm giving and giving but not receiving. So in turn this love, this undirected love, turns into an extreme amount of loneliness. Maybe I should put some of it towards myself.

I don't even know what it takes to make me content anymore. I'm not unhappy with myself, just unhappy with things around me. My life isn't really progressing, only school, sleep and eat. Nothing to make it better or amazing. I should be happy with my surroundings but it seems so blah that I can't make an effort to genuinely laugh. It's like I'm floating through the days, not fully digesting the beauty of life. The absence of people has also exacerbated the situation. An out-of-the-way apartment is such a contrast to the busy dorms of last year. I like alone time but not for all the time. My life has become so predictable and boring. That's it, I am bored with everything.

Now I feel a slight relief knowing that I am not insanely unhappy. Just bored.

Edit // I feel *much* better now that Marie and I had our little "dinner date". I have hope in life, partly because I pretty much rock at cooking lol. Making new recipes is super fun. At this very second I've decided to make one new recipe per week.

This morning Willamette Valley Oregonians were awoken to freezing rain. Like the idiot I usually am, I drove to school at 7:30 AM without checking the school closures, sliding on the ice the way there. I don't know how I survived, I must have good karma today. Aimlessly walking around campus, a tall sandy-blonde 20-something college guy approaches me with a smile telling me school is closed until 11. We have "icey" small talk then go our separate ways, he back home and I to the warmth of the café. Like stated earlier, my idiocy didn't realize until a few minutes later the the dangerous conditions were just an excuse to talk to me. He saw this beautiful girl that he wanted to talk to and alas, there was something to talk about. Now I sit here wondering what would've happened if I told him my name.

I got into a car accident the other night. Someone rear-ended the person behind me, so they smashed into me. Looking in my rear-view, there was nothing I could do except keep my foot on the break and scream. Luckily there was only minimal damage, as the bumper has to be replaced. But I'm angry because my car is hot and theirs were definitely not.

Edit ; NEW layout feat. Katherine Heigl. I remember seeing her in Disney's Wish Upon A Star many years ago and I wanted to be her. Your feedback would be great, seeing as this is one of the first layout's I've made in months.

How I saved a life or two
By Ashley, Unpredictable Blogs

It began this evening as my roommate Sierra and I pondered what to eat for dinner. "Want stir fry?" Sierra exclaimed. "YEAAAS," I responded, in the mood for a greasy, Americanized Asian entrée properly juxtaposed with brown rice. We went about chopping veggies, chicken and heating up the wok--the works. The oil was poured into the wok and seconds later the chicken followed.

Suddenly, a loud "WOOOSH!" sounded and large flames erupted from the wok. We stood brain-dead, staring at the blazing fire in our kitchen. Only a slight moment passed before we began to scream. Sierra reached for water as I gasped, "NOOO!! We need baking soda!!!!" I scrambled to find baking soda in the cupboards. Pancake batter...no, cake mix...no, some unopened box of powdery stuff...we don't have time!!, my head screamed as I envisioned the whole apartment going up in flames. I reached for the other cabinet, seeing only sugar, as smoke filled the air. FINALLY, flour! I take oversized handfuls and throw them at the blazing wok of chicken. The fire dissipated immediately. Smoke filled the room. We opened the windows as the shrill fire alarm rang in our ears. I continued to throw flour on the cindered chicken (somehow realzing, in the midst of this crisis, how enjoyable the feeling of soft flour is when it surrounds one's hands), so it wouldn't erupt again (you never know).

Adrenaline rushed through in my veins as my body realized the near-death experience that just took place in our quaint apartment kitchen. I did not even think about my actions, I just did. My body's primal instincts took over; my normal thought did not catch up until much later when my hands began to shake out of fear.

Since the "Ryan thing" is over, I miss the feelings associated with liking and being with someone. And I do miss him. I still want him to be apart of my life but only in a friend way. That doesn't seem to be what he had in mind though. I think about him everyday without even meaning to. It's like his in my subconscious...creepy. I'm not going to let myself fall into a lonely depression because I don't have attention from a man. That would be pathetic. Its just that I have a strong desire to show someone my world. (Not in that way, you dirty whore.) What's worse is that I feel like I've lost my touch, my mojo.

Has anyone sold something, particularly textbooks, on Amazon.com? If so, please let me know how it was/if its worth doing.

More blogging later when I don't have to wake up at 6am for an 8 o'clock, two hour business law class.

Turning on the TV to Comedy Central, awaiting for an hour of Scrubs, I catch an interview with Deepak Chopra on the Colbert Report. Tempted to change it, as I do not like the Colbert Report, Deepak's insightful words touched a part of me that is not touched everday. It was a sign of some sort. Looking at his books fills me with some emotion that I cannot even describe. I can't wait to once again, enrich my life by ready books of non-Western thought and spirituality.

Books on the power of nature will also be in my future. A trip to the used books store is needed!

Sometime, I would love to learn how to fly a plane. And paraglide too. The thought of wind against my face as I glide over the beauty of the Earth is simply enchanting.

I also had a revelation of sorts, I'm thinking of majoring in Dietetics with a double minor in French and Business Administration. It's a lot of fucking Bio and Chem and that is the only thing holding me back. Those are my weakest areas of study. I'll probably end up being in college for like 7 years haha. Dietetics seems like the right thing to do with my love of food and desire to help people, and its something I've always thought about doing. Once school starts in a few weeks, an advisor appointment is in order.

New Year's was kind of fun. Drama, drinking...lots of drinking (we got into a bar, well a restaurant bar), socializing, taking pictures of me and Katie with some random camera in the bathroom, and all that good stuff.