New soul

I highly enjoy the T-mobile commercials where the guys tries to leave the perfect message for a girl but is all awkward and funny.

Things with Travis and I are over. Details are unnecessary because it's in the past. I'm leaving behind all of my emotional baggage from the past 2 years and starting fresh (and so clean). No more living in the past. I have a different destination now with more confidence and sass. There will be no more "dating," only serious relationships. I want something with substance and love. This may mean staying abstinent for a while (which is a shame because this sexy body should be getting laid! haha) but it's for my own good. I'm excited to start my new journey. This is the most free I've felt in a long time.

He's thinking (?): "Hey sexy lady, it was nice to know you but I got to move on"

Apparently, it is over with Travis. He's suddenly done a 180 personality change and stopped talking to me despite my efforts. It leaves me utterly confused and hurt. Things between us were so good last term. I want to call him out on it. He can't expect to treat me like that and get away with it. Maybe it is his new party-crazy roommates. Maybe he doesn't have enough balls to say he doesn't want to date exclusively. It could be anything. We probably weren't mean tot be. A part of me thinks I liked him simply because it was an easy way to stop thinking about Don. Travis was my rebound guy. I'm more upset and hurt that yet another "thing" did not unfold into a relationship, and that another guy treated me poorly. I have such horrible luck with men.

I was watching re-runs of Scrubs this evening and JD said, "People weren't meant to be alone." It's true. I sulked for a little bit as I reflected on my own pathetic situation. Single life is not fun. Nor is dating someone who you cannot trust. I have yet to figure out which is worse. At least being single you aren't stressed and paranoid about what your significant other might be doing behind your back.

...But miss waking up to him with his arms around me. His touch made me feel accepted. I hope that sometime we start talking again because I don't want to loose his friendship. And he was hella fun to party with.

Lately I've been feeling very self-conscious. Not so much with my looks but with my personality. I don't know how to explain it but it's fucking weird.

It snowed a couple of inches today and we didn't go out to play. Hopefully it will still be there tomorrow because I desperately want to make a snow angel. It's been years since that's happened!

Also, I will be turning 21 in 6 months and two days! Yeeah.

Date with an ass-plant

The slopes ungraciously welcomed me today. The sun turned to clouds and my smile into screams of frustration. My snowboard glared at me in anger. I scowled back. The mountain against me. No, me against the mountain. Anger at my lack of skill led to inability to enjoy the mountain's beauty. The wind breathed hard. It let out wet snow that met my face like ice. I returned to the truck and found one of my boots had broken. Another sign. I should have stuck to skiing all of these years. At this point in my life, I would've been damn good.

The black shirt I wore on New Year's stained my favorite bra that cost almost $50. What once looked new, now looks dirty and worn. God damn Oxy Clean didn't do a thing.

EDIT // The "Oldies" station has stopped playing "all of your favorite hits from the 50's and 60's" and is now playing shit from the 80's. What the hell?

We're jammin' (and I hope you like jammin' too)

2008...Hangovers are fun. This nasty one didn't go away until 5 this evening. I hippie-danced like crazy last night! Oh it was fantastic. Lately I've taken up socially smoking with a natural substance that is not cigarettes. But one cannot call oneself a real hippie without participating in smoking this herb, I guess. Now I feel the need to get some sort of Bob Marley paraphernalia and hang it up in my room. Maybe a Rasta shrine or two throughout the house. A penis-shaped pipe. Hahaha.

With all this talk of herbs and reggae, I've seemingly forgot about what else there was to blog about.