New layout! It was meant to be published sooner but oh well. I really wanted to get the photo gallery up and working as well but lack the time and willingness to fix the kinks.

I still spend the majority of my days inside, at the restaurant, becoming more melancholy as days go by without frolicking in the sun. It adds insult to injury when it constantly lacks traffic. They need to somehow figure out a way to lure customers in (cure our boredom, please!). And Don is leaving soon to fight forest fires for two months. Now my days are going to be sunless and lonely.

As of two days ago, I am no longer a teenager. I feel like I should reflect on my teenage years but am plagued by a writing/thought block. The twenty's shall be much better.

I'm working all day, everyday. When I get home, the days activities are done and there is no time for fun in the sun. My longing for the freedom of the "sunshiney" outdoors grows stronger as my skin becomes paler with each passing day I am cooped up serving burritos. My eating schedule has been thrown off due to work. This is one of the most unsettling parts because I strongly dislike eating at random, weird times throughout the day. It is throwing my body off and is most likely continuing my insomnia.

All this work for money. Really. It is not worth it. To waste life like this. Beautiful days gone by without a smile in the sun. All of this money...for what? To buy things? So empty. It feels better to give and to share my rewards. I want to save some for traveling, "my travel fund" from here on out.

EDIT // I created a recycle bin at work. It killed me inside a little each time something recyclable was thrown away. Also, I'm tired of using my fake nice voice and fake smile. It's not good for the face or persona once "normal" life resumes outside the restaurant.

Lately I've developed the bad and annoying habit of cracking my knuckles. I usually only do it when nervous/uncomfortable or bored. I've also been flirting a lot for no apparent reason. Which is very uncharacteristic because I am not the flirty type, nor do I ever instigate it. Maybe its for attention...because I'm certainly not getting much of it from Don. We are drifting apart but hopefully not losing interest.

The people at my new work are crazy! It makes it enjoyable because I am crazy too. I'm becoming more and more comfortable as a waitress but 6+ hours on concrete floors is draining, even with good shoes. The food is pretty tasty too. It is a "higher class" Mexican cuisine, instead of using refrieds they use black beans, etc.

I realized another one of my greatest fears today: getting locked inside a walk-in refrigerator (or freezer). The door at work sticks and every time I use it, a rush of panic surges through my body and my mind envisions me forever stuck in the walk-in fridge.

Downloading classic rock reminds me of how much I wish I would've been alive at this age through the 60's and 70's. The music, movements and the lifestyle seems to fit me. I would've been the greatest hippie ever.

I read not too long ago that seeing a spider before midnight is good luck, while seeing one after is bad. I saw two in my room today, one before midnight and the other after...hopefully this means I'll have neutral luck.

My abs have been looking very toned lately. I'm not really doing anything. I think its in correlation with all the sex. But that hasn't happened for a couple of weeks due to our distance. I miss him. A lot. He is always on my mind, whether in the back or front. Let us be true...

I've been having trouble sleeping. So last night in hopes to cure the insomnia, I found a few Hindu symbols for tattooing. The intricate yet flowing details are beautiful. Everything about Hinduism has always intrigued me. Maybe I was a Hindu in a past life. Anyway, I would like to find a tattoo artist with extensive knowledge of Hinduism, so as to find a symbol, meaning and all, that suits me best.


Beauty in a line

Previous attempts to grow house plants and flowers have turned into failures, as I coined myself with having a brown thumb (as opposed to green...not like that other kind of brown, euuhh). But miraculously my thumb isn't so brown after all! By some twist of fate, I have three thriving house plants. One is a Japanese Peace Lilly (currently nameless, poor guy), which has at least doubled in size since November; second is a Dieffenbachia named Stimpy; third is bamboo which has three shoots to symbolizes happiness.

Do you have a pair of shoes that you always trip in? I wore that particular pair today. I tripped like three times, it never fails!

Today I also saw a Jamaican-looking guy downtown on a "low-rider" bicycle. It had a freaking huge stereo system attached to a cart the back, appropriately blasting Reggae. I can't even explain it, it was so amazing. It was so out of place, yet I admired the guy for his boldness. I wanted to stop and ask all sorts of questions. It would suck if he wanted to stop somewhere and had to lock up his bike...someone would definitely steal it! Or at least get a piece or two off of it.