AHH I NEED TO CONFESS MY LOVE TO HIM BECAUSE IT IS KILLING ME INSIDE.

I had my chance but blew it. Hopefully I will get another.

// end outburst

I smell like fried/burnt food. Eww :\ I was going to upload my photo gallery (as suggested by Dmitri) but my FTP doesn't work here. Freaking A. Also, I've become a compulsive napper.

I have a feeling something wonderful is going to come about soon...then something horrible. There is nothing dead about dead week. I really need to find a job for winter break or else I will be bored shitless. This afternoon all the of washers and dryers were empty. It was the first time I didn't have to fight for a dryer. There is a certain male I can't get out of my head. I am forcing myself to blog, it is obvious?

A list of smiple yet amazing things:
-naps on rainy afternoons
-warm, fuzzy scarves (not a la Taylor Hanson..aww, Hanson..I forgot about you boys)
-laundry fresh out of the dryer
-hugs
-people who truly care for you
-black and white photography
-exotic flowers
-realizing what you want
-realizing what is important
-confidence
-a nice juicy piece of fruit (not to be taken sexually)

^^Feel free to add...

I've never had this hot of a guy go after me before. And he is actually making the effort to call, make plans, etc. Tall, strong, and sexy. Wouldn't it be amazing if it worked out? I would probably crap myself out of pure joy.

Also, I suuuck at cards. Like even worse than I do at pool...and that is pretty damn bad.

I attended my first screamo concert the other night. Music was good, singing was good, screaming was bad.

I feel like fucking dancing.

Plugs: RJA, Dmitri, Alex

Wow. I broaded my religious horizons tonight. It gave me some...interesting insight. Definitely not many that I agreed with, but interesting none the less. I already have light in my life without religious direction, thank you. And I am not sinning nor am I lost in a life of darkness and bad behavior becauase I do not follow the word of God. The band was good though.

I wish there was a person who could give me daily big, warm and fuzzy bear hugs.

Plugs: Dmitri, Alex, Stephanie

I have the sudden urge to march in a protest. People here don't protest. Where are you my liberal leaning counterparts? I feel so politically and creatively deprived here...must join some clubs to fill that void.

Plain and simple, I have become addicted to Nature Valley granola bars, online shopping, and visions of romance.

Speaking of romance, I had a vision of my love life today. I will date a few semi-preppy yet down to earth guys but end up marrying a ruggedly handsome outdoorsy-type. We'd live in the mountains, maybe own a few pigs (I've always wanted a pig) and a freaking awesome big, cuddly dog. We'd have a grand fire place and sit around drinking beer, naked and wrapped up in blankets enjoying eachother's company in the beautiful firelight. Talking sweet nothings with the smell of chocolate chip cookies baking in the background and snow gracefully dancing around our cozy home.

Plugs: Dmitri, Alex, Laura, Stephanie, and RJA (because he knows why)

Sooo, last night. Aaahaha. They always say it is a bad idea to start something with people in your dorm. If I would have reciprocated his affection, we would have had sex. Like woah, I'm not ready to be deflowered yet. Guys are so weird. Hmm so yeah, I will keep you guys posted on this situation.

Edit @ 11:26 pm // This is very odd. I don't know how to deal with this because I am so innocent when it comes to anything sexual. I feel pathetic saying it, almost prude. But I am not going to give myself away to some random guy. No good ever comes out of that. I am not going to let somebody use me. I deserve to be treated well and so does everyone else.

What an invigorating mid-morning; a nice workout with 15 minutes on the bike, 15 minutes on the eliptical, and a short run home in the rain. With my head down and hood on, halfway back I had a revelation and realized what a beautiful thing running in the rain is. I shed my hood and turn my face upward, soaking up all of it's glory. Oh, and my "Kickin' Workout Beats" playlist? ...It fucking rocks.

Plugs: Stephanie, Dmitri, Alex, Laura