I was talking to some friends about my *cough* drinking habits. I asked if it was widely known on my hall that I am found of the bottle and they replied with vigorous head shakes and "Oh yeah!"s. haha Opps? I mean, it is only on the weekends, and I'm not that wild.

I've been thinking about doing some modeling for the art department on campus. $30 for a 2 hour session, nude though. Not that I would mind, I am very comfortable. :) Maybe next year when I need the money more.

Look at my cute new wedges! So stylin'.

I can't believe it is already time for mid-terms. Good lord where is this year going? I want to cherish it forever because there will never be anything like these days again...

Lately I've had a difficult time because I've had an urge not to wear clothes. Just to run around in my bra and undies, or even naked. Clothes feel so...restrictive. According to "him" that would be fine because "I have the body for it...so anytime you feel like not wearing clothes, come up to our room!!!" Ugh. Even more shit happened. I swear, that kid brings about so much drama. So I'm going to stop talking about him every entry before one of you smacks me in the face saying SHUT THE FUCK UP.

I just ate a Reese's we've had in our room since September. Those things have enough preserves in them that it should still be fine anyway (hopefully).

I hate it when they are cleaning the bathroom and I have to take a shit.

Being the blonde I am, I forgot that my FTP doesn't work here so I can't upload the new layout or photos for the gallery.

One crazy drunken night after another. Do you always find random bruises on your body after one of these nights? Because I always do!

WHY do I always mess shit up for myself? I finally cried and it felt good. It made me realize how much I really do like him and how much I probably just fucked it up (again). It is not because he was "my first," I've had these feelings for a long time, crazy intense ones. Could it be love? I always thought that if you were in love you wouldn't have to ask--you'd know. We both agreed that it wouldn't work out but now that is all I can think about. Just to hold each other, feeling the embrace and the beauty of what we have, fulfilling my dream of cuddling by the fire in a mountainous cabin. That sounds wonderfully amazing. Geez, I've never had so much emotional turmoil over one guy before.

Ooh I wish I had an answer, a sign from the mother earthly heavens haha. I trust that everything will go work out and that he feels just as much as me.

I just found a piece of pure red hair on my head.

I could kill for a huge delicious sandwich right now!!

Love: Alex

Edit // We talked...again. And we are going out on a date next week. Wow? YES. I'm really, really excited. :) Hopefully this will turn into a something very very good. The way the we look at one another, the way we communicate, flirt and touch. I can feel it. It has to mean something, right?

I got my ears pierced, WHEEE. They look so cute with little pink sparkly studs. It gave me such a high, I'm really hyper and in a particularly good mood with this adrenaline rush. I wanted to get something else done but didn't know what.

I feel like highlighting my hair with a lot of blonde. I'm in such a mood for change, maybe because of other recent changes *cough*. I'm glad that if fate had me lose my virginity that night it was with a guy I trusted and felt comfortable with. It happened at the wrong time and wrong place. I used to be into him but was just getting over it at the time. We are on really good terms though and definitely agreed to continue being friends. I will always remember him, and in a positive note.

Commenters: Laura, Alex, Stephanie

Oh guys I kind of messed up. At least he is a good guy...

More later, I am mentally (and physically) exhausted.

Oh my gosh, I feel so free and liberated. I am suddenly over him!! After months of brooding, confusion, lust and (one) cry...it is complete and I have moved onto the friends stage. Woot. Come and get me boys, Ashley is out to play haha :) I'm a nerd.

One of the many guys I danced with tonight had like ROCK solid thighs. Mmmmm yes (Although I am still a sucker for the tall and lean). Tonight was fun. J'adore dancer avec les garcons et avec moi et mon tres stupide moves de dance. Hooray for franglais.

I'm in such a funny random mood, Ow OOWWWWW! I'm getting my nipples pierced tomorrow. Ahaha Not really just the ears.

PS: Keep voting on the layouts! ...And I love each and everyone of your silly little booties (I swear I only had a shot. I didn't even get a buzz so don't start with me bitches. I am totally getting my second wind and a blog is not the right place to let it out. Ugh, where is my blow up Jude Law doll when I need it? gahaha.)

LAYOUT CONTESSTTT!!!! It is a little different this time since you will already know the general look and feel of the new layout from viewing at the images below. So upon your best judgement, please choose one of the following:

a)


- OR -

b)


- OR -

c)
I don't like any of them...Ashley, you really need to work on your "skills".

EDIT // The point of a layout contest is to actually vote. Exercise your voice!

People with amazing skill and talent, are they innately born and attracted to this activity? Or is something discovered and learned? How do you know you aren't missing out on being one of the best "so and so's" in the world? Why are people drawn to certain things and are particularly good at them while others are disinterested and untalented? This is something I'd like to get to the core of, to understand and find out...even though it is impossible to know such things.

Hmmm.

I can't figure out which layout to put up. I have three different takes on one main graphic and all of them are intriguing.

Plugs: Dmitri, RJA, Stephanie

The Photo Gallery is up! Thoughts, feedback, critiques, rants, raves, and praises are encouraged...even haikus if you are feeling the creative urge. New layout soon before I go back to school where my FTP goes screwy.

Tell me your hopes, dreams, fears or any random thoughts for the new year. We always say it is new, but really...what is new about it?