Stress mania this week! Too much of midterms, reading, assignments, and finding a place to live next year. The stress of all of this and more has manifested itself on my face as a large, painful zit.

With Don, things are going well but our status is still up in the air. I'm taking it lightly, in hopes that one day it will be a mutual understanding that we are together. For some reason that scares me because visions of what happened with Ryan flash through my head.

So much to do and so little time. Less school and more free-time...that only happens in dreams.

After what you feel like is a thorough and complete brushing, only to your dismay a few minutes later, you find remaining plaque. How can one get rid of all plaque without the use of an electric toothbrush (annoying sound, no vibrators in my mouth...thanks)? Is there is certain toothbrush that will aid with better results? Or is it all in the wrist? I'm sure after proper technique, one would have almost-perfectly clean teeth.

My dental hygienist once told me that people who are right-handed brush more thoroughly on the left side of their mouth, and vice versa. The technique would have to include use of both hands. But in what kind of motions--scrubbing, rubbing, circulating, turbulating, a combination of all and more?

Oh Don, how much he makes me laugh. I'm constantly smiling and laughing when he's around. It seems like things are back to normal between us, if even better. :) Tonight was perfect, short but sweet.

Now I must take a quick adventure to the grocery store for an emergency stock up of ice cream. Earlier tonight, shortly after Don left, I got out a dish and spoon only to open the freezer to find it was void of ice cream. Such a disappointment. Now I can't stop thinking of ice cream. It is hindering me from studying.

I'm crying so hard right now that my whole body aches and my hands are shaking. Why is it that I always have to fall for the men who don't treat me right and see how amazing I am? Why is it that I never feel good enough for any guy? Why do I have to be passionate and get so emotionally invested?

Now my whole body is shaking. My heart aches as is becomes more broken. From every man. From every soul that has used or hurt me.

An eternal hurt that will always be there. I can't take this anymore.

I just made the best turkey chili, basically by scratch too. I also ate it out of my favorite bowl, which made it that much better. My cooking skills really are advanced for a poor, inexperienced college student. I at least had to brag on my blog; if only you guys could smell and taste it.

And with Don? It has been amazing. I overreacted that one day (PMS). It would be nice to know what we are though. Here we go again...

My house plants are currently thriving *knock on wood*. College has cured me of my brown thumb (not like that) and has given me the green thumb to beautify our apartment with leafy, organic life.

I love a nice, cold high-quality beer. But then again, who doesn't?

Don really is an ass hole.

What a fucking tool.

I am so much better than that.

The end.

In an attempted to see what Don would do during this week apart, I've not called or texted him. Instead, I left it up to him do the work...and well, he has. Last night he told me that he missed me (aww). That's not something you'd expect after hanging out only two times. Maybe this is a sign for good things to come. :) I really can't wait to see him, then again I almost don't want Spring Break to end. Spending time with my friends and family without a worry of school or work is absolutely fabulous.

In his latest email, my TA (refer to previous entry) asked me out to coffee sometime. Heh. What is with me getting all these men lately? I like it.

I got a new phone today, to replace the old P.O.S., but the iTunes feature is not compatible with Mac. You think it would be considering iTunes is an original of Apple. Balls.

Katie and I went shopping today, where I splurged on a black leather BCBG purse: stylish but classic with an irresistible hot pink lining.

My foreign Math Teaching Assistant from this past term, whom I had an undying crush on, just emailed me to see how I was doing and if I did well in the class (cute). I meant visit him during office hours, purely with the means to seduce him (hehe) but never got the chance. I would see him random places around town, Starbucks, walking home on a Friday night with pounds of math books and homework to do. He is adorable.

I cannot wait to get back to school and see Don (Mr. Slightly-Punk). Plus this term should be wonderful. Spring term is always a good one with the flowers, sun and good spirits.

PS: It was Unpredictable's 6th fucking birthday on Feb. 25. I was like what...12, 13 years old? Jesus Christ!

EDIT // I would also like to mention something about a new fad that is sweeping the nation (maybe the world...my fellow Canadians, I would like your input): the fashion sneaker. Quite comfortable yet fashionable and colorful. At first I was against the trend but have come to love it once I reluctantly joined in. Also, "sneaker" is on my list of "All Time Favorite Words of the English Language".

OH. LA. LA. (Yes, a dramatic French "Oh la la" is direly needed in this case). More later on this certain subject *mr.slightlypunkomgheisamazing*. I don't want to say any more and jinx it.

One final down, two more to go and more than half of a 6x6, 1 lb. fudge brownie eaten solely by me. Opps. :) And what's even better is that strawberries were on sale 2 for 1! A brownie and strawberries makes a wonderful snack(s).

Mr. Slightly-Punk redeemed himself. But like any female, I played hard to get and we aren't hanging out until after finals (even though he suggested tonight). Ha. By playing hard/very hard to get, females assume that if the male really wants you he will keep trying, and if not then he wasn't that into you in the first place (great book, by the way). Maybe this isn't true but most of us females like to believe so.

I was also asked on another date by a guy whom I lived with in the dorms last year. Heh, I must be radiating some sort of single card. Or maybe I am just that smokin. Yes, yes, that is it.

During the upcoming Spring Break, I feel that a longing to finally create and post the "Photo Gallery" will gracefully fall upon me, so as to provide you with joyous moments in my life.

PS: Why is it that somehow I end up talking about food in every other blog?

The date with Mr. Slightly-Punk went very well, amazing actually. He is freaking hilarious, so much so that I accidently snorted while laughing. Whoops. One of the best parts is that I can truly show him my real (dorky) personality. We have another date this weekend. I'm hoping that he is the change that I need.

The flowers are blooming. The sun is shining. There is finally life on campus. People are actually outside enjoying the beauty of nature instead of hovering inside, fearing it's wrath.

Finals=next week=procrastination=much eating of chocolate=I better get all A's.

Edit // Mr. Slightly-Punk is a tool. I think he was going to blow me off tonight until I called him. I don't know what to do, I've never been blown off before! WTF, asshole.

A Little Moment, A Little More Happiness
Best. Day. Ever. When someone asks for your number it always brightens your day:

Sierra and I were working out at the gym, lifting free weights and getting sooo buff. I noticed the abnormally number of attractive males, one in particualy who was dressed slightly punk (my weakness). We innocently eyed each other as I thought to myself, "I wish I was brave enough to talk to him." Later we attempted an ab workout called the "prayer" and for some reason I couldn't get in the correct form. A muscley, preppy and obvious gym rat showed me ther right form and later asked if he could join us haha. We left after that.

Walking out of the gym, out of the corner of my eye I see Mr. Slightly-Punk running around the track. I try to mumble something to Sierra, "that's him" as he comes running toward me, with full concentration on me. And like a scripted movie, he says something like, "I know this is kind of weird, but can I have your number to call you sometime?" HOLY SHNIT! Yes! I was very energetic and nice (according to Sierra). All I really remember is concentrating and trying so hard not to shake as I was writing my number down. That moment seems so clear in my head. This is what I needed. A little pick me up, a little hope. Even if he doesn't call (which he will be *crazy* not to), it will still make me smile.

That afternoon at Safeway, I tried to pay for my groceries with my OSU ID card. The checker said that it made his day haha. The small moments are always the ones that make you the happiest.

Isn't it funny how there are so many ups in downs in life? Right now, it is definitely an up--a stark contrast from a few days ago when I felt hopeless and alone. This afternoon, my roommie and did a little shopping. I got cute shirts on sale, one of which says "Peace Forever" and a small but cheerful indoor plant for my room. We made a quick stop at the quaint downtown Starbucks, where I ran into my TA who I have an undying, girly crush on. I can't resist a smart, funny, foreign man who also speaks French (in addition to his native language (Moroccan). He was SO nervous and twitchy when I was talking to him, it was absolutely adorable.

I'm getting addicted to coffee. Mochas, yuumm. I'm excited because now my mom and I can go out for coffee. I changed my major. More specifically, I added one--Interior Design. Yes, I'm doing it! It will mean four more years of schooling but its worth it. So now I'm double majoring in Business and Interiors, most likely with a minor in French. Sometimes I make too lofty of goals for myself but I know I can do it. I plan to offer eco-friendly design solutions, like opting for bamboo instead of rare rain forest woods, materials and products with low amounts of chemicals, etc.

My roommate is wonderful. We're always cracking each other up, making up the most random funny things to laugh at. Its such good medicine :). We can also talk of serious matters, which makes for a great balance.

I feel like something "incroyable" is going to happen very, very soon.

I discovered the most mouth-watering ice cream in the WORLD--Ben and Jerry's "The Gobfather". It is a delicious blend of rich chocolate ice cream, chocolate coated almonds and swirled with marshmallow cream. In this particular carton, the marshmallow cream and chocolate had slightly melted together, creating a beautifully creamy taste of goodness. It is THE BEST ice cream I've ever had, hands down.

By the way, I was tempted to put the above paragraph in caps.

The guy my cousin is trying to hook my up with looks like Nathan from One Tree Hill. It's quite enjoyable. :) I've been working out a lot and my abs, butt and thighs are like rocks. Hello definition, nice to meet you (again). Its been a while.

Relevant, random updates from the life that tingles with every touch, transferred to the blog that makes you hang on every word:

• My Mustang (Luke) is no longer a Purebred. The dented bumper from the accident was generic (can you hear the disdain in my voice?). This is slightly saddening. At least he still looks sexy. PS: I had separation anxiety for 2 days while while we apart. I'm really pathetic. He's the only stable man in my life, what can I say?


• My grandma underwent surgery for amputation of her leg because of gangrene. She is recovering well so far. I'm still having a difficult time wrapping my head around this, or dealing with it, really. The word amputation conjures images of the civil war and I shiver. It's scary.


• I really do love my friends so much. The subtle things they do make you feel so good. :)


• On Wednesday, I'm going to volunteer orientation at the Humane Society. AHHH (this word comes up as "AHOY" in spell check hahaha yesss). Puppies and kitties!!! I'll pretty much fall in love there.


• Ryan attempted to talk to me the other day...Through texts BRAGGING about himself. It was disgusting. A guy in my business class freakishly reminds me of him, almost like they could be long lost brothers. Its kind of creepy but hot at the same time. I want him.


• I felt like I was 10 years-old all day today, it was quite great actually. Cheery, way too dorky, in a constant motion of dance. In fact, it is still continuing to this very moment.


• I'm changing my major to interior design tomorrow. I'm freaking excited. Je serai INCROYABLE!

It just so happens that I picked out the juiciest, ripest, most delicious pineapple EVER on the face of the earth. Slicing this succulent tropical fruit of the gods (if its not a fruit of the gods, then shame on them), my mouth waters in anticipation. I let out a loud orgasmic "MMMmmm!!" as the sugary goodness melts in my mouth. With each proceeding bite, a delightful feeling overwhelms my body as more "mmmmm"s unconsciously escape. I do a little thispineappleisdeliciousi'msofuckinghappy dance and decide at that very moment that pineapple is one of the most amazing fruits ever.

A bout of loneliness has swept over me this past week. I haven't felt alone like this in a while. So many people depend on me, I'm tired and worn of helping and listening to others babble on about their problems or good fortune. It seems like everyone is too caught up in their own issues to ask how I am. I have all this love that I want to share with someone but no one to share it with. I'm giving and giving but not receiving. So in turn this love, this undirected love, turns into an extreme amount of loneliness. Maybe I should put some of it towards myself.

I don't even know what it takes to make me content anymore. I'm not unhappy with myself, just unhappy with things around me. My life isn't really progressing, only school, sleep and eat. Nothing to make it better or amazing. I should be happy with my surroundings but it seems so blah that I can't make an effort to genuinely laugh. It's like I'm floating through the days, not fully digesting the beauty of life. The absence of people has also exacerbated the situation. An out-of-the-way apartment is such a contrast to the busy dorms of last year. I like alone time but not for all the time. My life has become so predictable and boring. That's it, I am bored with everything.

Now I feel a slight relief knowing that I am not insanely unhappy. Just bored.

Edit // I feel *much* better now that Marie and I had our little "dinner date". I have hope in life, partly because I pretty much rock at cooking lol. Making new recipes is super fun. At this very second I've decided to make one new recipe per week.

This morning Willamette Valley Oregonians were awoken to freezing rain. Like the idiot I usually am, I drove to school at 7:30 AM without checking the school closures, sliding on the ice the way there. I don't know how I survived, I must have good karma today. Aimlessly walking around campus, a tall sandy-blonde 20-something college guy approaches me with a smile telling me school is closed until 11. We have "icey" small talk then go our separate ways, he back home and I to the warmth of the café. Like stated earlier, my idiocy didn't realize until a few minutes later the the dangerous conditions were just an excuse to talk to me. He saw this beautiful girl that he wanted to talk to and alas, there was something to talk about. Now I sit here wondering what would've happened if I told him my name.

I got into a car accident the other night. Someone rear-ended the person behind me, so they smashed into me. Looking in my rear-view, there was nothing I could do except keep my foot on the break and scream. Luckily there was only minimal damage, as the bumper has to be replaced. But I'm angry because my car is hot and theirs were definitely not.

Edit ; NEW layout feat. Katherine Heigl. I remember seeing her in Disney's Wish Upon A Star many years ago and I wanted to be her. Your feedback would be great, seeing as this is one of the first layout's I've made in months.

How I saved a life or two
By Ashley, Unpredictable Blogs

It began this evening as my roommate Sierra and I pondered what to eat for dinner. "Want stir fry?" Sierra exclaimed. "YEAAAS," I responded, in the mood for a greasy, Americanized Asian entrée properly juxtaposed with brown rice. We went about chopping veggies, chicken and heating up the wok--the works. The oil was poured into the wok and seconds later the chicken followed.

Suddenly, a loud "WOOOSH!" sounded and large flames erupted from the wok. We stood brain-dead, staring at the blazing fire in our kitchen. Only a slight moment passed before we began to scream. Sierra reached for water as I gasped, "NOOO!! We need baking soda!!!!" I scrambled to find baking soda in the cupboards. Pancake batter...no, cake mix...no, some unopened box of powdery stuff...we don't have time!!, my head screamed as I envisioned the whole apartment going up in flames. I reached for the other cabinet, seeing only sugar, as smoke filled the air. FINALLY, flour! I take oversized handfuls and throw them at the blazing wok of chicken. The fire dissipated immediately. Smoke filled the room. We opened the windows as the shrill fire alarm rang in our ears. I continued to throw flour on the cindered chicken (somehow realzing, in the midst of this crisis, how enjoyable the feeling of soft flour is when it surrounds one's hands), so it wouldn't erupt again (you never know).

Adrenaline rushed through in my veins as my body realized the near-death experience that just took place in our quaint apartment kitchen. I did not even think about my actions, I just did. My body's primal instincts took over; my normal thought did not catch up until much later when my hands began to shake out of fear.

Since the "Ryan thing" is over, I miss the feelings associated with liking and being with someone. And I do miss him. I still want him to be apart of my life but only in a friend way. That doesn't seem to be what he had in mind though. I think about him everyday without even meaning to. It's like his in my subconscious...creepy. I'm not going to let myself fall into a lonely depression because I don't have attention from a man. That would be pathetic. Its just that I have a strong desire to show someone my world. (Not in that way, you dirty whore.) What's worse is that I feel like I've lost my touch, my mojo.

Has anyone sold something, particularly textbooks, on Amazon.com? If so, please let me know how it was/if its worth doing.

More blogging later when I don't have to wake up at 6am for an 8 o'clock, two hour business law class.